Live Again
by suspensegirlinc
Summary: Post 5x17 - Seeing Dan & Blair together is ripping them all apart. It's a bit of a stretch, but she has an idea. "I'm not the government, Serena. I don't have scientists researching time travel." CBDS
1. Kindred Spirits

A/N: Who wants old Blair back? The Blair who was madly, passionately in love with Chuck and didn't suddenly fall out of love with him in a few short weeks after her love for him nearly ruined her wedding? That Blair? Anyone? Anyone? I thought so. This is post 5x17. Inspired by Isabelle's "The Butterfly Effect". Check it out if you haven't. It's _amazing_.

*I own nothing, especially what might be related to _The Butterfly Effect_ movie (which I haven't seen), Isabelle's fic or any other time-traveling movies or fanfiction.

…...

**Ch.1—Kindred Spirits**

The mahogany finish on the floor and walls surrounded him just as they had three months ago when he'd last been here. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd come in for a brief visit shortly following the accident. His therapist's advice hadn't exactly encouraged him to return.

_Just let her go._

Impossible, he thought. Not when she wanted him. Not when she loved every part of him and he was the one she never wanted to leave. Not when they had been about to start a family together. Not when she'd been on her way to disengage herself from her real-live prince all in the name of _their_ love.

Now that wasn't the case. He didn't know how it happened, not really, and it boggled his mind that she could have such a drastic change of heart in little more than a few weeks.

Watching her with Dan had become unbearable.

"Why did you come in today, Chuck?"

Slowly, Chuck lifted his head to look at his therapist sitting across from him. He couldn't be snarky here. At least, he tried to avoid succumbing to his cruel fate at all costs. He'd changed so much since returning from his summer abroad. To lose his temper easily would speak volumes of how weak he'd become.

"I want to hurt myself," he said, the sincerest honesty stretching across his face.

The therapist's brows furrowed. He picked up the notebook that lay beside him on the chair and clicked his pen with his thumb.

"When did this start?"

Chuck sighed and uncrossed his legs, stretching them out.

"Recently. Within the last week."

The therapist looked up, concerned and curious in his stare. Chuck wondered if it had taken much practice to relay more than one emotion on his face during the sessions he had with his patients.

"What happened in the last week?" he asked, momentarily lifting the pen off the paper.

Chuck swallowed. "My ex-girlfriend…"

"Blair?" he inquired.

"Yes." He took a deep breath. "I…found out she finally slept with Dan."

The therapist's brows furrowed again. "Last time we spoke she was set to marry the prince. Louis?"

Chuck sighed, the events from the past weeks washing over him. It pained him to think about.

"A lot has happened since then."

He pursed his lips. "Why don't you tell me about it?"

Chuck turned his head to look at various objects around the room. His heart clenched and he could feel it breaking all over again. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fight the pain that welled up in him whenever he thought about Blair's words.

_I love you too. I always will. But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you._

It was so different, as he'd told Lily, from any time Blair had left him before. This time it wasn't because he'd done something unforgivable or she needed time to 'find herself'. It wasn't even because she wanted to be with someone else for the sake of not being with him.

It was because she wasn't in love with him anymore.

That hurt more than anything else in the world ever could. Since the conception of their romance, since their first I love you's, no matter what he'd done, she'd never stopped loving him. Loving him and being in love with him had been one in the same.

He didn't know when it had happened, or how. What tortured him the most was the thought that somehow he could've prevented it. From what he could tell, Dan had lured Blair to thinking twice about being more than friends with him with that video Gossip Girl blast and that Valentine's Day kiss. Still, no matter how much he blamed Dan for what had happened, he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it was inevitable. Maybe it had been ordained that he would lose Blair to the most unlikely person, the one who had hated her for years and who she had hated. Maybe this was karma biting him in the ass for what he had done to her.

But dammit, he was Chuck Bass. Why couldn't he fix this? Wasn't there something, anything, he could have done to prevent Blair Waldorf, the only ever love of his life from falling into the arms of a hypocrite from Brooklyn?

"Do you want her to be happy?" his therapist asked, and Chuck realized he'd been quiet for a long time.

"Yes," he said, "more than anything." The therapist's solid stare told him he needed to say more. The heat consuming his being pressed him to continue. "I'm just having a hard time dealing with seeing Blair and Dan together."

"Do you think it's genuine?" his therapist asked.

Chuck sighed. "Yes. I know it is." He paused again, pursing his lips. "She told me she's not in love with me anymore."

The therapist watched him curiously.

"I don't know how to deal with that," Chuck said, looking up at the therapist and wiping his sweaty hands off on his pants. "We've had other obstacles, but never that," he said very quietly, studying the floor as if it was some fascinating puzzle.

"Have you talked to her about how you're feeling?"

Chuck laughed morosely.

"I want her to be _happy_," he said. "Telling her how I'm feeling would only be a burden to her. And if Serena, her best friend, who's in love with her ex, _Dan_, is okay with it, who am I to intervene?"

"Have you talked to Blair at all since she told you she didn't love you anymore?"

"No," he said. "It's been too hard." He knew he sounded ashamed, but he couldn't help it. He was. And he knew exactly what his therapist would say next.

"That might be a good first step."

Irritated, Chuck shook his head.

"No, no, I can't…"

"Why can't you?" he asked.

"Because," Chuck snapped, looking back up at his therapist. "It's too hard."

He sighed. "Chuck…if you don't take any risks to face this pain you have head on, you not only won't get over this, but Blair will slip out of your life without you even realizing it."

Chuck pursed his lips tightly together, his teeth ground quietly against each other. His jaw clenched. He was so restless. He wanted to scream.

"I know you don't want to lose her."

_He hated how god-damned calm this guy was._

He looked away, finally muttering, "Of course I don't."

"Well then, why don't you try talking to her," he suggested again, this time more forcefully.

"What if she avoids me?" he finally asked.

"Pursue her," the therapist said.

Chuck scoffed lightly. _As if that was so easy._

"How exactly will this help me from wanting to hurt myself?" he asked, the new direction making him feel a little bit more in control. He was disappointed to see that it had little effect on his therapist. He only leaned back in his chair, contemplating the question – or maybe just drawing out the silence to drive him crazy.

"Why do you want to hurt yourself, Chuck?"

Chuck looked down. He'd walked right into that trap.

"I want her to notice me. I want her to realize she's still in love with me…"

"Because in the past she's come to your rescue and come to that conclusion," he finished for him.

Chuck looked back up and nodded.

The therapist straightened in his seat and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs.

"I think you have to face that maybe Blair isn't the one you're supposed to be with."

He stiffened.

"I'm not saying she isn't, but right now she isn't interested and you have to respect that."

From inside his mouth, Chuck bit his lip hard. Tension so thick froze his entire body.

"If what you're seeking though is her attention…" He moved his head around until Chuck met his gaze. "Talking to her is a sure-fire way to get it."

He knew he was right, but he couldn't get the images out of his head. Dan and Blair kissing, both before they were a couple and in recent weeks would be forever emblazoned in his brain. He couldn't take it. It was driving him crazy. He didn't want to walk in on one of their 'moments' just to talk to Blair. And what would he _say_? _'I'm hurt by what you said and that you're with Humphrey now. Break up with him.'_ Oh yeah, that would go over real smoothly.

"Well, you think about it. What time shall we meet next week?"

Chuck looked up, confused as to the abrupt end, but he adapted quickly.

"Uh…same time."

The therapist quickly wrote the time and date on one of his business cards and handed it to Chuck, who stared at it for the longest time before sticking it in his wallet.

"Thank-you, Dr. Conner," he said, still lost in thought.

"Please consider what I said," the therapist said. Chuck nodded, his mind still elsewhere, still adjusting somewhat. Dr. Conner smiled sympathetically. "I'll see you next Tuesday."

Chuck blew out a large, heavy breath as he exited the lavish room and walked to the lobby.

….

**R U AT HOME?**

**-B**

Serena sighed, turning her phone over on her bed so she couldn't see the screen. She'd respond in five minutes after she had time to compose herself. The common text aggravated her. Her reply varied between yes and no as often as it was delivered to her, which was a lot.

She'd been naïve at the start, thinking her best friend just wanted to spend time with her. That was becoming the case less and less to hardly at all. Blair wanted to know if the house was empty so she could bring Dan over, and since the start of last week, so she could take him to bed with her.

While the news that their first time hadn't exactly been pleasurable had contented Serena for the time being, as usually happens, Dan and Blair practiced and got better. Now they were on sexual overdrive. She hadn't seen Blair this way since she'd turned Chuck Bass into a boyfriend worthy of her. The two were…well, they'd looked like Dan and Blair did now. Blissfully in love.

She wondered how Chuck was doing.

**NO**

**-S**

This time she'd ignore their wild cries by putting on her music and focusing on the chaos that had been delivered to her two weeks before on a laptop computer. Despite the fact that every time she saw Dan and Blair, together or separately, her heart broke all over again, she felt guilty whenever she was the cause of keeping them apart. She wanted her best friend to be happy. She didn't want to have to intervene like Chuck had done. She was sure he was hurting more than she was. He had taken enormous effort to getting Blair back before she finally chose Dan over him, and before that it had been Louis.

She felt bad for her stepbrother. It made her feel even guiltier.

She lifted the laptop off of her lap and set it down on the bed as she went to lock the two doors leading both to the hallway and the bathroom. She didn't know how long it'd be until they arrived, but she wanted to be prepared. She grabbed her iPod and earphones and headed back to the bed.

In one of the few conversations she'd had with Blair over the last three weeks, her best friend had mentioned that Georgina was Gossip Girl, or at least the latest version of her. She'd been shocked to say the least, especially when it became obvious Blair was telling her the truth. The next day a laptop had arrived for her, containing all of Gossip Girl's secrets. _She_ would be the new Gossip Girl, if she wanted to be.

After months of trying to destroy Gossip Girl, it suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea. She would be the one in control of what was sent out and what wasn't. If something was destructive to one of her friends, she had the option of not blasting that information to all of Gossip Girl's subscribers.

Her excitement quickly faded when she realized a great deal of the posts were pictures of Dan and Blair being spotted together all over Manhattan, though she knew they spent most of their time in Brooklyn. They were being unbelievably careful to not be openly affectionate in front of those they knew were hurting the most over their union: she and Chuck. In the process however, they'd managed to unintentionally cut them off from their lives.

It wasn't entirely Dan and Blair's fault. She and Chuck had been avoiding them like the plague.

Something needed to be done, and soon, or there would either be a heated confrontation or they would just fade away from each other. It was becoming more doubtful by the day that she actually had a roommate.

With Nate occupied with Lola almost as often as Blair was with Dan, she felt so entirely alone. Even her own mother and Rufus were occupied dealing with the chaos that was Ivy Dickens. She didn't even want to think about _that_ situation. It exhausted her almost as much as Dan and Blair did.

The sound of the elevator doors opening downstairs brought Serena back to present time from her haze of troubling thoughts. She was hiding away in her room to keep Blair from being guilty of always staying away or being with Dan to begin with. The bad part though, was that if her best friend and her ex started going at it just two doors away she'd probably throw up.

The sound of shoes moving across the foyer and up the stairs alerted her to him imperative it was to turn up the volume on her iPod. At first it seemed as if her plan might be working, but much to her chagrin, the fumbling around in Blair's room became louder somehow was still heard over even the maximum volume on her most heart-pounding sound.

She groaned and pushed the ear phones further in to block out the noise. It wasn't working, and she felt too sick to stomach her way over to Blair's bathroom door and demand they quiet down. That would unleash a whole bunch of guilty stares and it would make her feel even sicker.

When she heard Blair's first cry of passion though, she abandoned her resolve. Grabbing a light jacket and her purse, she headed for the door and quietly slipped downstairs.

Just as she reached the elevator, the doors opened and she gawked, staring at none other than Chuck Bass in front of her.

"Serena," he said, sounding just as thunderstruck.

"Chuck."

He shook his head. "I'm just here to see Blair." He tried to move past her but she stopped him with her hand on his chest.

"Don't go up there," she said without looking at him.

At first he thought she was being overprotective of his feelings and prepared a teasing jest to return to her, but then he heard Blair's muffled cry of passion and a shudder so fierce wracked throughout his entire body.

That used to be _him_. _He_ used to be the one people wrinkled their noses at because he was screwing Blair in her bedroom. Now it was Humphrey. _What the hell?_

"Let's get out of here," he heard Serena say, grabbing his arm and dragging him back into the elevator with her. She pressed the button to close the elevator at least five times before it finally did.

"Did she know you were there?" he asked finally, glancing at her with something borderlining anger. She was startled by it. She'd never seen him look so angrily protective of her.

"No," she said, grabbing hold of his hand suddenly to calm him. She released it when he looked at her questioning how. She closed her eyes briefly. "Sometimes I tell her I'm not home," she said. "Blair feels so guilty about bringing Dan around in front of me, so she always asks if I'm home before she brings more." She avoided his gaze until she felt his fingers curling around hers. He walked out of the elevator with her when the doors opened on the first floor and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"So, I could really go for a movie," she announced once they'd made it outside. Chuck stopped and turned to look at her, actually smiling a little.

"I was going to offer a drink, but…it's been awhile since I last saw a movie." He slipped his hands into his pockets. "What did you have in mind?"

She searched her mind quickly for something that could possibly appease both of them. A movie advertisement she'd briefly seen on her laptop flashed before her mind. It was an oldie, but a classic as far as she was concerned. It was also unique, as well as entertaining. Already she was planning her most convincing watch-this-movie-with-me speech if Chuck decided her selection was beneath his standards.

"Do you mind going back in time?" she asked coyly.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Back to the Future?" she offered, holding her breath that he wouldn't decline. She needed this right now. She really did. They both did.

"With _Michael J. Fox_?" he asked, incredulous.

She nodded. "I could really use an escape from…everything…right now. What better way than with a movie that literally lets people travel through time?" She held up her hands as if she was advertising some merchandise.

He looked amused. "Well, I'm not overly fond of movies from the '80s, but…it's certainly more appealing than what I was supposed to be doing just now."

Her smile faded. She squeezed his arm gently.

"Alright." He nodded. "Let's go watch Mikey in action." He gestured towards the limo. "I think Nate's out anyways."

She laughed. "Do you have popcorn?"

He laughed. "Only the best."

Arthur waited for the two twenty-year olds to slide into the limo before closing the door behind them and turning around the side to the empty driver's seat.

…

A/N: Don't think for a second this is going to be a CS rom-com. It's anything but. CB ftw! Review please! =D


	2. Team Chuck and Serena

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.2—Team Chuck and Serena**

She was smiling contently at the TV screen by the time the movie was over. Her head was on his shoulder and she had an afghan wrapped around her. It was late afternoon and the sun had begun to set.

"Well?" She tilted her head up to look at him. He was still staring straight ahead at the screen, watching the credits go by and studying them as if they had some secret answers they were daring him to figure out.

"Chuck?" She sat up, the knitted blanket slipping off her shoulder. He lifted his hand to point doubtfully at the TV.

"That would never be successful in real life."

She rolled her eyes and reached for the bowl of popcorn on the low table in front of the couch. She frowned when she realized it was empty and set it back down, pulling the blanket back up around her as she sunk into the couch.

"It's a _movie_, Chuck."

"I know, but…"

She turned to look at him, amused and curious as to what his excuse might be.

He finally sighed, giving up and picked up the remote to turn the TV off.

"Well, at least Jennifer was hot."

Serena rolled her eyes again and picked up the empty popcorn bowl. She stood to her feet and wrapped the afghan around her frame as she crossed the room to the kitchen and dumped the bowl into the sink.

She turned back to look at him and she was startled to see how serious he looked.

"Thanks for the movie, Chuck." Her smile was somewhat forced.

"You know," he stood to his feet and started walking towards her, "you don't have to go back so soon."

Her brows furrowed. "You want to watch _another_ movie?"

He almost laughed. "Hardly."

"Then?"

"Look, I know how hard it is for me to even _think_ about Dan and Blair together, but I can't imagine trying to sleep in the same house they're in."

"He doesn't stay over," she said. "Most of the time," she murmured.

"Stay here," he said.

"Chuck, I don't know…"

"Or I can get you a suite here."

She sighed.

"Come on, it's the least I can do."

"You don't owe me anything, Chuck. I already made you sit through a cheesy '80s movie about time travel with me. That's enough for now, I think." She forced a laugh.

"Don't pretend you don't feel it," he said, now only feet away. Her brows furrowed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Serena, I went back to my therapist today because I'm so sunk into depression that I want to hurt myself."

His intense gaze pierced her soul. An overwhelming amount of guilt and compassion poured out of her.

"Oh my god, Chuck." She started walking towards him to console him but he held up his hand to stop her.

"Don't…worry about me," he said firmly, almost annoyed that she was concerned. "I'm not going to do anything. I'm just desperate." He sighed. "So just…don't pretend you're not affected by them being together. It's your _best friend_ and your _ex_ for crying out loud. And it's not like you don't have feelings for him too."

"Yes, I _know_," she ground out. "And I wasn't. I just…I don't need other people to feel responsible for. I can hardly be responsible for myself." She sighed.

He came to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"So let me be responsible for awhile. Let me take care of you."

She couldn't look at him.

"Hey." He tilted her chin up so she was forced to look into his eyes. "I need this too. I need someone to take care of. I'm…" He released her. "I'm lonely. I can't live in isolation."

She nodded slowly as she looked at him sadly.

"I hardly see my best friend anymore," she admitted. "And…when I do, it's awkward, because I know she wants to talk about Dan but feels guilty about it." She moved back into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. "It's like I've lost her." She turned to look at Chuck when he sat next to her. He sighed and silently nodded. "You know?"

"Oh yeah."

She contemplated his stoic expression for a long time before speaking again.

"Okay."

He turned to her. "What?"

"I'll stay." She sighed. "I'm lonely too."

They shared a small smile and he pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head. They sat in silence for awhile.

"You feel like a real brother to me right now. My protective older brother," she joked, though the serious undertone was obvious. She still remembered how he'd looked in the elevator when he thought Blair might be deliberately bringing Dan over without taking her feelings into consideration.

He smirked. "Except I'm younger than you."

"Nobody hears about a protective _younger_ brother."

"Probably because it doesn't sound as intimidating."

"Probably."

They were silent again.

"It shouldn't feel like the end of the world, but…"

"It does."

"It really does," she sighed. "Why _is_ that?" She played with a button on his shirt, not really expecting a legitimate answer from him.

"Because they're the loves of our lives," he said.

Her hand stilled and she nodded against his chest.

"Yeah…"

They sound of the elevator doors opening caused both of them to turn their heads. Serena sat up and watched as Nate walked into the suite. He stopped when he saw her there, an afghan wrapped around her as she cuddled up to Chuck.

"Hey Serena… what are you doing here?"

"Just hanging out—"

"Where's Lola?"

Serena forced a smile as she waited expectantly for Nate to answer her question. Chuck had to stop covering up for her.

"Uh…" Nate still looked confused. "I dropped her off at her dorm. She said she wanted to be alone tonight."

"Tired her out already?"

"_No_. We've been spending a lot of time together. Everyone needs their alone time." He slid out of his jacket.

Serena turned around and sighed, sinking into the couch again.

"I've had too much of it," she muttered under her breath. Chuck looked at Serena and then at Nate. He stood to his feet and walked towards his best friend who was now rummaging through the fridge.

"Hey, Serena's gonna stay here tonight," he said.

Nate popped his head out from inside the fridge. "What? Why?" he asked, both concerned and confused. Chuck looked at him like he should just _know_, and at that moment Nate felt like maybe he _should_, but he also felt justified in _not_ knowing. Sometimes Chuck could be complicated.

"I really have to tell you? Dan's with Blair at her place and…"

"Ah. Got it. So, you're kicking me out?"

"What? No. You _live_ here. Just thought I'd give you a head's up."

Nate looked over his best friend's shoulder to Serena sitting on the couch.

"Nah, I think I'll go check out Lola's dorm. Maybe I'll come in late or something if they kick me out. "

"Wait. Nate, no, come on—"

"I'm not offended, Chuck. You guys need each other. I don't mind staying out of the way." He grabbed his jacket and nodded his goodbye as he went back into the elevator.

Chuck sighed.

Serena turned to look at him.

"You scared him away," she stated.

"It was not my intention," he said, walking back towards the couch.

She said nothing, just snuggled up to him when he sat back down.

…...

"Miss Serena," Dorota said, coming to meet her as she stepped out of the elevator back into the penthouse. She'd tried to avoid coming back as long as she could, but staying away longer than necessary would look suspicious.

She heard the clash of silverware on dishes and quiet chatter and knew she and Dorota were not the only ones in the surrounding rooms.

"Dan's still here?" she asked, trying to hide her exasperation and disbelief. It was three in the afternoon. Had they really been going at it this whole time?

"N-No," Dorota quickly said, anxious. "Mr. Dan left last night after dinner. He came back for breakfast this morning."

"It's three p.m.," she deadpanned.

"S!" Blair interrupted, coming into the foyer to hug her best friend. Then she pulled her into the dining room where Dan was sitting, half-finished with his small plate of snack food. Serena forced a smile.

"Where _were_ you?" she continued cheerily, forcing her to sit down at the table. She carefully avoided Dan's awkward gaze. "Well?" Blair egged her on, sitting across from her at the table.

She didn't know which was worse, trying to get through a painful conversation for the sake of avoiding hurt feelings or pretending like everything was okay when it wasn't. Blair's over-the-top cheeriness was no coincidence.

"I…" she laughed. "I was with Chuck."

Blair froze with a grape halfway to her mouth. Serena saw a thousand thoughts race past her best friend's eyes, but the all-important was the one that came out.

"How is he?" she asked delicately.

"He's fine," Serena said quickly. She knew this would probably an ideal time for them to get into an actual conversation on how her relationship with Dan was affecting all of them, but not with Dan in the room. He would defend Blair and she would not be able to take it.

She was about to ask Blair how she was doing and what she had been up to, but she was pretty sure 99% of what she could come up with was accurate. So, she didn't.

"I was thinking…S…"

Serena raised her head to look at her attempt to make conversation.

"Maybe we could do some shopping today," she offered hopefully. "We haven't really…_hung out_ in awhile."

Serena glanced at Dan briefly who briefly looked at the two and then looked down. She turned her head back to Blair who was waiting expectantly for her answer.

"I…uh…I don't think that'd be such a good idea, B." She started to stand up.

Blair frowned. "Why not?" she demanded.

"Well, for starters I just got home."

"We don't have to do it right now," she insisted.

Serena sighed. "I'm tired, B."

Her best friend's sad face tugged at her heartstrings a little, but she couldn't stand to be in the same room with them and deal with this situation, not with the atmosphere that surrounded them now. It made her sick to her stomach and it drained her spirit.

She got to her feet and left the room, avoiding Dorota's concerned stare as she started to climb the stairs. She heard what she was sure Dan consoling Blair in the dining room and it made her feel even sicker. She felt beads of sweat popping out on her forehead and she wanted to scream.

She closed the door behind her when she finally got inside her bedroom and exhaled a sigh of relief, blowing up a few strands of the blonde hair lying along the sides of her face. She slipped out of her shoes and landed back on her bed, just lying there for the longest time and waiting for the sound of the elevator to tell her that Dan had left, or maybe that both of them had. She honestly wanted both of them to be gone.

It wasn't that she liked the fact that her best friend had basically disappeared from her life, but she didn't even feel like she was the same person anymore, and she was running around with Dan. She felt like she was living with this stranger, and most of the time it took too much effort to try and change that. This hadn't been the first time Blair had attempted a shopping trip. Serena's mistake before was actually taking her up on it and then being caught in mostly awkward silence because Blair was trying to avoid talking about Dan.

She pulled the laptop to her from the other side of the bed. She'd been in such a hurry to leave the day before, and she hadn't expected to be spending the night elsewhere, that she hadn't turned it off. The same screen that had been on before was staring at her now, glowing with a brightness she was sure was extraterrestrial. Maybe she really was just tired and needed a nap. Despite being wrapped up warm in Nate's bed, she hadn't been able to sleep really deeply since Chuck woke her up in the middle of the night when she was lightly snoring on his lap in the living room. It was sweet how he wanted her to be more comfortable, but ever since he'd insisted on her spending the night, every moment away from him made her feel cold and alone, and unloved. She couldn't believe it. It was like she was a small child who cried like a madwoman when her mother left her alone at daycare for the first time.

She shook herself of the reverie her thoughts had sucked her into and exited the tab that stared at her on the computer screen. An advertisement popped up – the same from the night before for _Back to the Future_. She sighed, remembering her night with Chuck again. She wished she had taken his advice to stay away longer, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything. Not that she was doing anything to improve her relationship with Blair now, but at least she was in the same vicinity, for the time being.

She closed the advertisement, but her mind lingered on it. Oddly curious, she clicked on a new tab and went to Google, typing in the name of the movie. After a long list of sites to purchase _Back to the Future_ and various reviews on it, links started popping up for other fictional movies and books on time-travel. After those, websites started appearing for real time-travel. She laughed lightly at the thought that people were actually attempting this, but in her gut she wanted it to be true, successful. She wished it was true. Because if it was then…

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. She sat up on the bed.

"Yes?" she asked cautiously.

"It's me," Blair said quietly.

Serena braced herself and swallowed, preparing for the encounter. She must have missed the sound of the elevator when Dan left.

"Come in."

Slowly the door opened. Blair's head poked out from behind it and then slid into the room, closing the door behind her. Serena just watched her, completely stoic. She was doubtful of anything positive that could possibly come of this. She already wanted it to be over.

"We need to talk, don't we?" she asked softly.

So this was it. They were finally going to have _the talk_. From her actions, Serena figured that Blair already considered the talk had happened the night her grandmother died at the hospital. She'd told her she wouldn't interfere with whatever ended up happening with she and Dan, and she hadn't. Blair was already trying to be careful not to hurt her since then, so she figured it was over.

Apparently it had come to Blair's attention that things were not right between them.

"We don't have to," she said.

"S…" Blair whined, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it. She took Serena's hand and held it in her own. "I don't want to hurt you." She sighed.

"Yeah, you've made that clear." She took her hand back and skimmed the names of the sites she'd been glancing over.

"Tell me how to fix this," she pleaded. "Do you want me to break up with him?"

Serena lifted her eyes to Blair's. _Yes. A thousand times yes._

"No," she said simply, looking back down at her computer. "I want you to be happy, B."

"I'm not happy if you're not," she insisted, almost sounding like she was about to cry. "_Please_."

Serena closed her laptop and set it off to the side. She sighed, tired of the conversation already.

"B, even if you broke up with him, it wouldn't be because your feelings went away. It would be because you don't want me to be hurting, and I'd feel responsible."

"But—"

"There's nothing you can do. I told you it wouldn't be easy for me, and you still went for it."

Blair's lips parted to say something, but Serena cut her off.

"And that's _fine_," she assured her.

Blair pursed her lips tightly and held her tongue. Serena went back to her laptop.

"Just don't expect me to be jumping for joy. I'm still in love with him, remember?"

She nodded slowly.

"Well, do you at least want to…"

"No."

Her brows furrowed. "What? We can't even hang out now? Because I'm with Dan?"

Serena blew out a puff of air and sat up, pushing the laptop to the side yet again.

"It's not because you're with him, Blair. It's because we have nothing to talk about when we're together anymore."

"That's not true…"

"I'm not blind, Blair. I know you want to talk about Dan when we're together. You're in love with him…the relationship is so fresh and brand new. You want someone to gush about it with, and I…I'm just not someone you can do that with."

Her face fell.

"Not yet at least," she amended.

Blair was silent for awhile. Finally, Serena straightened and scooted to the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

She sighed as she stood to her feet. She looked down at Blair's pleading doe eyes.

"I think I'm going to go see Chuck again."

Her brows furrowed. "Why?"

"Because he's hurting too. He gets how I'm feeling. And besides, Nate's always busy with Lola." She grabbed her purse and slipped the strap over her shoulder. Blair was about to say something , but she found herself totally and completely speechless. Serena looked at her once more before leaving.

"You know, I appreciate how much you're trying to keep me from hurting, but it's not fair to Chuck that you don't even think twice about how he's feeling. Just because you're in love with Dan now doesn't mean you can dismiss how much Chuck is still in love with you. He's fought for you every second since the accident and when he finally thought he could have you again, you'd fallen for someone else right under his nose."

She snapped to her feet, now glaring at her best friend. "It's not like I did it on _purpose_," she spat. "And besides, I'm not the only one trying to avoid confrontation here. He's doing it too."

Serena looked at her incredulously and shook her head. "Right. Well, I'm gonna go now. Maybe I'll be back later." She waved her off and shut the door behind her.

Frustrated, Blair fought the urge to the scream and then just sat back down on the bed, digging her fingernails into the comforter.

…

Chuck hadn't answered. She'd called him several times on the way over before she finally admitted defeat. He had probably turned his phone off.

If she had been smart, she would have just gone somewhere else, maybe done some shopping on her own.

But no, she'd told herself she needed to check on Chuck, make sure he wasn't giving in to his dark thoughts even though he'd promised her he wouldn't, and after he'd insisted on letting him take care of her. Worst case scenario, she thought, would be running into Nate and Lola again and forcing some sort of _I'm not really a spoiled, rich kid _front in order to convince her newly-met cousin she was worth her time. With her energy decreasing less and less with each passing day, she knew she wouldn't be up to that type of challenge any time soon.

And she wasn't.

It was another thing entirely.

One that she was even less prepared for.

She shouldn't have been.

But she was.

"Serena."

She forced a smile at the sight of Dan's confused face as he turned to look at her.

"I won," Nate announced beside him, clearly unaware of the blonde's entry. "_Again_." He smiled smugly at the _Congratulations_ displayed on the Wii game screen. Dan nudged him roughly. "Wha—" He turned to where Dan was looking. "Oh."

Serena nearly rolled her eyes. _What a greeting._

Nate set down the controller and walked around the couch towards her.

"Chuck's not here," he said, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Chuck?" Dan asked, confused, setting his controller now down too.

"Yeah." Nate briefly turned back to him. "The two of them hung out yesterday. She spent the night," he brushed it off casually.

Dan looked like he was holding in his anger by a mere inch and Serena wanted to know what the hell for. It wasn't like she and Chuck were anything even close to a booty call, let alone a romantic relationship. Besides, _he_ was the one traipsing around with her best friend as if it wouldn't bother anyone.

"He's not here." Nate turned back to Serena, oblivious to the very loose top clattering above Dan's head.

She nodded once. "Alright, well, do you know where I could find him?"

Nate was about to say something when Dan cut in. "He just left."

Both their brows furrowed as they turned to look at Dan. "_What_?"

Dan very carefully stood to his feet and attempted to maintain comfort.

"He and I may have shared a few words…"

"_Oh god_." She rolled her eyes and turned for the elevator.

"Wait-" Nate reached out to her than shot fiery eye-darts at Dan. "What did you _say_?"

Dan had apparently been rendered speechless.

"You know, it's fine." She forced herself to remain cordial and understanding until the elevator doors closed behind her. "I think I know where I can find him."

Nate shot fiery eye-darts at Dan for ten more minutes before Dan's unusually long time in the bathroom made him cool his anger. They ordered pizza an hour later.

…

"Another."

Serena smiled sadly as Chuck signaled for the bartender to bring him another drink. She walked over to him and slid onto the barstool beside him. He spared her a side-glance.

"Hey."

He nodded once and exhaled loudly in what probably should have been extreme satisfaction after he'd greedily consumed half of his refilled drink.

She watched him worriedly.

"How'd you find me?" he asked.

She shrugged. "There are only a few bars you regularly visit. This one was the most likely."

"What was the tip off?"

She was silent for a second. "It's the last place Blair went before you brushed her off and she almost ran away to France our junior year."

That got his attention. He turned to her.

"She told you?"

She nodded.

He sighed again and sipped his drink.

"Best friends tell each other everything."

He laughed. "The irony of that is Nate should have told me Dan was going to be over after I came back from _our_ lunch. It's almost like…he's punishing me for spending time with you."

Serena's brows furrowed. "I think you're overanalyzing this."

"Am I?"

She hesitated, but assured him. "Yes."

"It couldn't have been a coincidence that he left last night and didn't bother to come back until this morning after we'd both left."

"It could've been," she said. "It's actually very likely."

"Did Blair try to talk to you about Dan today?"

Her jaw dropped and Chuck nodded.

"I'm guessing such an attempt was also meant to happen when Humphrey was suddenly in my living room when I came back today."

"You think Nate's trying to play mediator?"

He shrugged. "It wouldn't surprise me. As oblivious as he may be at times, he knows when his friends aren't exactly _okay_ with each other. For what his nameless flings may bring him, it's not what we can – us, you know, family, friends…" he trailed off.

Serena contemplated that. "You have to admire his attempts," she offered.

He laughed and then shook his head. "Not today I don't," he said.

She was silent for awhile and finally signaled the bartender to bring her something.

"How long have you been here?" she asked Chuck.

"An hour." He took another long drink from his scotch glass and finished it. Before Serena could stop him, he signaled the bartender for another. "Give or take."

Two hours later they were completely drunk off their asses, Chuck more so since he'd started earlier. Five hours later it was getting crowded and they were saying things that made no sense whatsoever. An hour after that they were asked to leave.

"I'd like to say this has never happened to me before, but I think I'd be lying," Serena whispered, giggling.

"This is where Blair and I first had sex," he announced for the fifth time since they'd climbed into the limo. And, as every time before, Serena burst into laughter.

"You know what we need?"

"Scotch!" he declared.

"No!" she insisted, very serious – and very loud. "A time machine!"

"Yes! Like Mikey!"

"But not a car." She shook her head, apparently depressed by that possibility.

"Unless…"

She turned her eyes to him, intrigued.

"We could turn _this_ car into a time machine," he said proudly, beaming from ear to ear.

"A _limo_ time machine?" she asked, baffled.

"Yeah," he said, thrilled now.

"Wait." She held out her hand like a stop sign and instantly he silenced himself. He held his breath then, as if awaiting a great surprise.

"What?" he finally whispered, unable to take the suspense a moment longer.

"When would we go back to?" she burst into giggles again.

He laughed with her.

"I have no idea."

She laughed for awhile with him and then clutched his hand desperately.

"Chuck, this is _serious_."

He returned the serious stare.

"We could change so many things!"

"Like what?" he whispered, enraptured.

"Well…" She looked puzzled for a moment. "Oh! You could stop yourself from selling Blair in exchange for the hotel!"

He frowned. "But where would I live then?"

She clutched his shoulders and looked into his eyes fiercely. "Chuck. It's _Blair_."

A shiver ran through him, despite being incredibly drunk. He nodded and swallowed. Then his face suddenly lit up.

"Then she would have never met Louis!" he said, excited, overwhelmed and relieved all in one instant.

"And then she and Dan would never be together!" she squealed, then sighed contently. "So much could be fixed." Chuck nodded solemnly. "You two could be _married_."

His heart beat faster.

"You'd still have to reform yourself though. Blair deserves better than you two years ago."

He nodded.

"And me…" She turned her head to look out the window, her face becoming plastered to the glass. "I could _not_ screw up with Georgina."

Chuck nodded slowly, clearly starting to doze off as his own face plastered itself against the back of the leather seat.

"No secrets…" he yawned. "Tell him right away."

"I was so scared then…"

"But now you know better." He attempted to pat her shoulder in encouragement, but ended up hitting the seat instead again.

"Be hard to convince my younger self of that though…"

He was almost snoozing.

"You'd probably have to get a haircut to appear convincing. Sixteen-year-old you would never cut your hair like you do now."

He frowned, offended, but he couldn't open his mouth to protest. Almost every part of him had decided to go to sleep. Serena yawned.

"See. If only we had a time machine…"

Chuck made some sort of moaning sound.

"Oh Mikey…" she yawned again.

"I'm Chuck Bass," Chuck managed, his voice hardly distinguishable.

Then, they were dead to the world, only waking up once when Arthur screeched suddenly to a halt when an unexpected pedestrian started crossing the street before the light turned red. Chuck and Serena wailed and cursed for a few brief moments before falling back asleep.

…

A/N: Please review. The actual time travel will probably happen in the next chapter or the chapter after it. =)


	3. Shaking the Earthquake

**WARNING TO SENSITIVE ANTI-DBERS: There is a DB scene in this chapter that is a bit coupley, but it doesn't end well for them if that is any incentive to still read it. =)**

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…..

**Ch.3—Shaking the Earthquake**

The first thing that alerted her she wasn't in her own bed for the second night in the row was the fact that she was on the verge of falling off whatever piece of furniture – most likely a bed – she was on. The second was that she felt pebble-like cushions pressed against her face. When she inhaled, the scent was almost unbearable. She breathed in too hard her next breath and ended up coughing a little. Finally, she opened her eyes and, misinterpreting the toes lying against her face for an odd looking spider at first glance, screamed. The action was just enough to push her already teetering body over the edge of the bed and onto the floor.

"Monkey, _shh_!" a groggy Chuck called out, tossing one of his pillows across the bed after missing the invisible space on the bed where he thought his dog might be. "Some of us need our beauty sleep." He snuggled his face deeper into the pillow he lay on.

On the floor, Serena groaned. "Chuck!"

He made an indistinguishable mumbling sound. She huffed, turning her body so she was sprawled across the floor, her eyes barely opened as she looked up at the ceiling.

"My head hurts." She frowned, bringing one hand up to soothe the back of her head.

Chuck said nothing.

"And your feet smell!" She shouted.

He made a soft snoring sound.

"Looked like a spider," she muttered.

Chuck opened one eye and looked down his bed, but couldn't manage to see his step-sister.

"Serena?"

He sat up when she didn't make any more sounds.

"Are you on the floor?" he asked, confused.

She sighed loudly. "Apparently."

"Did you wake up there?" he asked, even more confused now.

She snapped up. "_No_. Your foot _attacked_ me."

He laughed, still confused. "What? _How_?"

"It smelled!" she crawled across the floor quickly to grab the pillow he'd tossed off the bed and threw it at him.

He ducked.

"Hey! What the-" He looked down at the floor to see what she'd thrown at him then back at her fuming face. The confusion still plastered on his own face though eventually made her smile, and then she was laughing and he found himself doing it too.

Finally Serena stood to her feet and walked out of the room shaking her head. Chuck was dazed and confused for a little while more, but eventually he followed suit and called room service for breakfast while Serena showered.

…

He was pouring orange juice into his glass from the pitcher when he saw Serena come out from the hallway, a purple towel wrapping up her long blonde locks on top of her head and a silk robe wrapped around her slim form.

"What?" She stopped when she saw the look on his face. When he didn't bother to explain himself, she looked herself over. "What?" she asked again, unable to find anything conspicuous on her. "Don't tell me you're not used to seeing a half-dressed girl in your penthouse," she teased.

He forced a miniscule smile and finished pouring his orange juice, just managing to keep it from overflowing the glass, as she crossed the room and took a seat across him at the table.

"You know, at first I was surprised to find a woman's robe in your closet," she continued, now enjoying her teasing topic, "but I rationalized that since you have so many running around, or _did_ that…"

She paused again when she realized Chuck's eyes were glued to the chest pocket on her robe. She looked down and gasped, then quickly covered the letters _B.W._ on the front of the pocket. Her eyes flashed to Chuck's.

"Oh my god, Chuck. I'm so sorry. I…I'll just go put the rest of my clothes back on."

She started to stand up, but he stopped her.

"_Sit_."

"Chuck…"

He sighed. "Sit down, Serena."

Hesitantly, she sat back down.

"I really can just change, you know."

He picked up his fork and dug into his scrambled eggs.

"It's fine."

She couldn't stand the tension in his voice.

"Okay, I'm just gonna change."

She started standing up again but he firmly grasped her wrist.

"_Sit down_."

They battled each other with an intense eye stare for what felt like forever. Chuck's hand tightened on her wrist.

"I'm not going to _break_ just because you're wearing Blair's robe," he ground out. "She doesn't live here anymore-" he broke off and instantly released her as soon as the words left his mouth. He shifted in his seat and picked up his fork again. "Just…sit down."

Serena didn't resist the command anymore. She sat back down and poured herself some water. No matter what concern she might have over wearing Blair's robe right in front of Chuck, reminding him that he and Blair had once been together, his mistaken outburst shook her up even more.

Because Blair had never actually _lived_ with Chuck. Not officially. Not even when it seemed sometimes she was more there than she actually was at home.

Whether in his dreams or during their relationship, Chuck had clearly fantasized or believed that he and Blair were living together. Or maybe even more somehow; that he…she…they…

"Chuck-"

"Serena, I'd rather not discuss it," he said firmly. It was clear that there was no room left for argument. She wondered for a moment if he had been reading her mind. They had become very in tuned to each other just in the last couple days, especially in regards to Blair.

After awhile of quiet clinking of silverware on plates and pitchers on glasses, she attempted conversation again.

"So, I was thinking…"

He looked up at her.

"Okay, I know this is going to sound crazy, but maybe should look into the…" she sighed, thinking the subject over in her mind and realizing how unbelievably ridiculous it was. "Nevermind."

"Serena. Look at me."

She turned her averted gaze to him.

"I'm a mess emotionally, and kind of mentally too. There's a bit of…physical potential," he paused, looking at his empty glass. "Though it seems I've taken a break from it this morning. So just," he sighed, "Tell me about your crazy idea."

She looked at him sympathetically and he hated it, because it looked so much like pity and he hated that. But he steeled himself, told him she was hurting just as badly and that he could probably take as much sympathy as he could get. Regardless of his insistence, seeing Blair's robe on Serena had shaken him to the core.

_She strolled into his bedroom wearing a sleek, white robe wrapped around her frame._

_ He gave her a once over, his eyes darkening as a smirk slid onto his face._

_ "That better be coming off within the next 30 seconds."_

_ She smiled mischievously as she walked towards him and sat beside him on the bed. She toyed with the sash on his own robe. His hands slid over her silk-covered curves, admiring them greedily._

_ "I just thought I should get my own robe to wear after showers and…"_

_ His hand accidentally-on-purpose brushed over one of her suddenly hardened nipples. Her breath caught in her throat but by the time she'd recovered he had plastered a thickly innocent look on his and it made her want to smack him – in the most affectionate way naturally._

_ "…other activities?" he offered, looking too cute to be mad at._

_ She smirked. "Yes."_

_ Suddenly he frowned. "But I like seeing you in my robes." He gently grabbed the lapels of her robe and pulled her in until her lips were hovering just above his. "It's hot."_

_ She was melting._

_ She swallowed hard._

_ "I don't have to wear it all the time," she said breathlessly._

_ He brushed her lips briefly with his and slid the lines of her lips over with his tongue. She moaned and he pulled her roughly to him, kissing her hard. His hands slid inside her robe and pushed it off her shoulders. His kisses traveled to her neck and then he wrapped his arm around her waist, twisting her body so she was beneath him on the bed. _

_ "Definitely not right now."_

_ She giggled into his ear, and his heart beat faster. He loved the sound of her laugh._

_ "Nope." She slid her hand down his back as he unpeeled more of her robe. "Not right now." She nibbled on his earlobe._

"Chuck."

He blinked, coming back to the present and away from his precious memories. His sister was now looking at him with confusion instead of sympathy or pity. That was better, he decided.

He cleared his throat.

"So, tell me, this crazy idea?"

"Yeah…" She decided to brush aside his brief weird behavior. "I was thinking maybe we should look into the possibility of time travel."

He choked on his water. "_What_?"

"Well, you know, I'm sure you have more than enough money and resources to track down some sort of research scientist. They've got to have been researching this for hundreds of years. There have been tons of movies and _books_ about it."

"_Hundreds_ of years? _Books_?" He raised his eyebrows, amused.

"It's got to be true. There has to be something to it."

He took another drink of his water, not even considering the notion. He would amuse himself with this for awhile. He could use some light entertainment after the reality of his daze being from an ancient memory.

"I mean, just think, we could go back to Constance and St. Judes, fix all those mistakes we made, keep Blair and Dan for ourselves…"

He looked up at her. "You make us sound like psychopaths."

"You know what I mean."

He nodded casually. "Go on."

"Well, that was pretty much it. What do you think?" She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

He blinked. "You're serious."

She didn't say anything but her eyes told him everything he needed to know. He laughed.

"Did you drink something I didn't last night? Are you still drunk? Because I recall having a similar conversation like this after we'd got kicked out of the bar." He laughed.

She blew out a puff of air, annoyed. Some of her damp blonde strands flew up from the side of her face.

He shook his head, smiling. "I'm not the government, Serena. I don't have scientists researching time travel. And…even if I did, I doubt I'd believe anything they had to say. Time travel isn't possible. There's a reason it's only in science fiction movies and _books_."

"I know this sounds crazy. And I know we've both been through far worse to let this drive us over the edge, but…" She bit her bottom lip. "Don't you just wish there were some things you could do over if you had the chance?"

For some reason, he decided to take her bizarre thoughts into consideration, because there were so very many things he wished he could take back.

His eyes softened.

"I do, Serena."

Hope ignited in her eyes.

"Unfortunately, it's not possible."

He stood to his feet, took his dishes to the sink and headed to the bathroom for a shower, leaving Serena feeling very much confused with how exactly she felt about how their conversation had gone.

She'd get over it, she told herself.

_I mean, time travel?_

Clearly, she'd let her notions of _Back to the Future_ "Mikey" go to her head. Chuck was right. There was a reason time travel was listed under the science fiction genre and not broadcasted on the nightly news.

…

Chuck lifted his head to see who had just entered his penthouse. Just like earlier that morning, he was pouring himself a beverage other than alcohol. Water this time. When he saw the person responsible for interrupting the steady flow of liquid from pitcher to glass however, he wondered if now was a good time to give in to the amber drink.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked casually. He would not lose his cool. He _wouldn't_. Their tempers had risen to the brink yesterday until he finally had to leave in order to save himself from his own self-destruction. And that was within five minutes.

He heard Dan's drawn out sigh and knew today's "conversation" wouldn't go any smoother.

"Look, if you're here to apologize about yesterday, you can save your breath. I don't plan on having any such conversation again." He took a sip of his water.

Dan stopped in his tracks.

"And if you're here to gloat about 'winning Blair'," Chuck's eyes flashed to his, "forget it. I've got bigger problems on my hands."

Dan crossed his arms across his chest. "Like what?"

Chuck shrugged. "That's my business." He took another drink.

"Right. Well…"

"Just leave, Humphrey."

He blinked. "Excuse me?" he asked, half-confused, half bordering on a building rage.

"We already addressed all possible reasons you might dare to show up here: rubbing in my face the fact that you stole Blair from me, some lame-ass apology about the other obscenities you so pathetically dished out yesterday and…well, wondering if Nate's here so you could escape this god-awful conversation, because let's face it, we both want it to be over."

Chuck finally caught Dan's eyes again. The latter's mouth was hanging wide open.

"I…" Dan managed.

Chuck raised his eyebrows.

Dan cleared his throat. "I didn't _steal_ Blair from you."

He laughed. _Of course _he was going to go there_._ Nothing had changed since yesterday. Absolutely nothing.

"What would you call it exactly?" he asked, curious sarcasm evident in his voice.

"Her choosing me," he said bluntly.

Chuck nodded slowly, holding back the urge to throw his glass of water in Dan's face.

"Which she wouldn't have done by the way, if you hadn't intervened."

He gawked. "If I hadn't sent in the video, she would have still married Louis and neither of us would have had a chance with her. It would have been over. And just for the record, I never thought she would give me a second look after I kissed her. She made it clear Serena was her #1 priority, and denied any feelings she might have had until they apparently had a talk. Serena was okay with it."

Chuck laughed. "Is that what you think? That Serena's _okay_ with it?"

Dan blinked, completely disoriented now that Chuck was defending Serena and not accusing him or defending himself.

"Well…yeah. Blair wouldn't be with me if she thought…" he trailed off, his mind going blank. It was very obvious now that he'd lost his footing and had no logical answer to the turn in the conversation.

"Serena wants Blair to be _happy_, as do I. That's why neither of us have tried to break the two of you up. That's also why I didn't send in the video, and why Serena wouldn't have either. We both tried to get her to change her mind about marrying Louis, but she refused to budge. If you knew Blair at _all_, you would know that even her heartfelt confession caught on camera and being blasted to everyone in that church wouldn't change her mind. She still chose Louis, even though he obviously wasn't her first choice." He scoffed and shook his head at Dan's dazed expression. "Blair didn't call you because she regretted marrying Louis because of her undying love for me or the realization that she didn't love Louis at all. She called you because she realized she was suddenly in a loveless marriage and needed to get _out_."

Dan found himself totally and completely speechless. His mind was spinning but he couldn't make sense of any of it.

"The love was suddenly gone on both ends and she panicked."

Dan finally managed to clear his throat and put his thoughts into some sort of logical sequence.

"I've been there for her more than you ever have," he said, finding his footing.

Chuck laughed.

"It's true, and you know it."

He fought hard not to laugh again, but a smile couldn't help but slip through.

"I think you're forgetting the first seventeen years of her life when _I_ was the one boosting up her self-confidence when her mother disapproved or didn't notice her. _I_ was the one who told her she was beautiful and had nothing on Serena who always got things so easy when _she_ had to take the hard road every time. _I_ was the one, with Serena, who helped her resurface when her eating disorder got the best of her every time Nate paid more attention to her flighty best friend than to his own girlfriend. And you know why I did that? Because I could relate. And because I _cared_ about her, maybe even more than I cared about Nate sometimes."

"You were a _dick_ in high school."

"On the surface, yes. But on the inside? No. Blair found the real me and she saved me. More than I could ever possibly ever save her. That's why the two of us are more connected than you two will ever be, in love or not."

"I won't hurt her, which is something you are incapable of not doing."

His brows furrowed. He forced his temper to remain below the boiling point.

"Grasping at straws, huh?" He pursed his lips tightly.

"You sold her for a hotel and then slept with my sister!"

Chuck slammed his now empty glass on the bar and started walking towards him.

"I let her go. Countless times. Believe me, I was well aware that I did not deserve her. I still don't. Because no matter the wrongs she'd done to me, it's not even close to the damage I've caused her. She took a risk getting involved with me, and I told her that many times."

"What, so it's _Blair's_ fault you destroyed her life?"

He jaw visibly clenched. "_No_. _Of_ _course_ not. My _point_ was that I had finally decided to let her go for good, because I knew I was no good for her. I _really_ knew. In a desperate attempt to save myself by moving on, I eventually started going to therapy and completely turned my life around. You know that. You were _there_.

I didn't pursue Blair at all until she called me, and then not even until you told me where she was, so we could be together. So don't you dare accuse me of 'forcing myself' on her when I'd done so much wrong to her. I only starting fighting for her again when I knew _for sure_ that I was good enough for her and that she wanted me more than anyone else, when she thought I could make her happy." Caught up in the memories that now seemed like another lifetime ago, he felt as though the oxygen he was breathing had suddenly become incredibly thin. "She said…"

He stopped and shook his head. "No. You don't deserve it. I've already said too much. I don't know what I was thinking opening up and actually bothering to explain myself to you and the whole god-damned situation." He walked past Dan to hit the elevator button. "You need to go. Now."

"Chuck, wait-"

"_No_." His fierce gaze held in any tears threatening to come to the surface. "You already stole Blair from me. I won't let you take anything else."

Dan was about to argue further about him not stealing Blair from Chuck, but the elevator doors opened. Nate stood in the shaft, his eyes widened at the confrontation he'd walked in on.

"I'll come back later," Nate said quickly, eager to escape. He pressed the button to close the doors but Chuck held up his hand and kept them from closing.

"No need. Dan was just leaving." He turned his head briefly to his best friend and forced a smile before returning to Dan's very on edge looking expression. "Weren't you?"

"Chuck-"

"_Weren't you_?" he demanded.

Dan sighed, shooting a side glance to Nate before nodding.

Chuck avoided his gaze as he walked into the elevator and Nate quickly exited it, making a beeline for his room. Chuck released his hold on the elevator doors and they began to close. Dan pressed the button to keep them open. Chuck looked up and glared.

"What about us?" he asked timidly. The desperation in his eyes made Chuck's rage nearly boil over, the worst it had been during the whole conversation.

"_Us_?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"We were friends, weren't we?"

Chuck laughed, angry sarcasm laced in the very sound. It was as if he was spitting in his face with the venom of a poisonous snake.

"As far as I'm concerned, whatever 'friendship' we had was nothing but a total and complete lie. And there's _nothing_ you can say to change my mind about that," he spat, ripping Dan's hand away from the button in the elevator so that the doors would close.

He didn't try to keep them opened.

….

When the elevator doors chimed again, he had to fight hard to maintain his patience. Dan's whole attitude and viewpoint on the situation was driving him mad. The fact that he'd dared to come back for a follow-up argument clearly had the stamp of Waldorf written all over it. He refused to believe Dan was actually a good-natured person anymore. He didn't know when he had started thinking it, but it had been a huge mistake and he was seriously considering relocating, at least temporarily. He needed a breather from this whole mess. Dan and Blair were clearly happy, did they have to make him and Serena even more miserable by constantly drudging up their feelings on the matter?

"_Humphrey_," he ground out.

"It's not…"

Chuck froze. He hesitantly looked up and saw her standing in his doorway. He couldn't help the shivers that wracked through him. It pained him to look at her for all the horrible, and wonderful, memories it brought back, but it also gave him incredible relief and joy. It'd been so long since they'd been this close to each other. He ached for her as if she was his breath of life, the water to vanquish the desert inside him.

"Blair," he choked.

They stood there and just looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. As usual, when she looked at him it felt like she was peering into his very soul. Whatever expression was on her face, it served to completely immobilize him, verbally and otherwise. It was like he'd been turned to stone, except for the loud thumping inside his chest that he could hear louder than anything else, even his own breathing.

Breaking off the trance they'd been locked into, Blair slowly crossed the floor and set her purse down on the counter and walked toward him, stopping feet away at the bar.

"Make me a drink?"

He felt the same urgency he had when Eleanor walked in on him the day of Blair's wedding, and when Blair had come back to him just before the Jenny scandal had exploded in all of their faces.

"Yes, of course," he said, hurrying behind the bar to dig out the various ingredients. "What's your poison?" he finally asked, forcing himself to breathe in and out more slowly.

Blair slid onto one of the stools. "Cocktail. You know which one I like."

His eyes flickered up to her averted gaze. At least that hadn't changed. He comforted himself with the fact that he still knew her favorite drink.

"Yes, of course."

"Water?" she asked dubiously, gesturing to the clear liquid in his own glass.

"Scotch has gotten the better of me lately. I need to cut back."

She said nothing to that remark.

"I'm glad you came," he said quietly after awhile. Her eyes lifted to his questioningly. "My therapist suggested I go to see you, but…I was…unsure of how to go about it." He was silent for awhile, letting the information sink in. "So thank-you."

Her fingers traced the rim of her glass as she tried to sort her thoughts into order.

"Why did you go to see your therapist?" she asked curiously. "I thought you'd…recovered?"

He nodded once. "So did I. But…a new problem arose, and let's just say I'd rather talk it out and get advice than be left to my own devices."

She continued to trace the rim of her glass. "What problem?" she asked softly.

His eyes lifted to hers, giving her the answer she needed to know.

"I didn't know that was a new problem," she said.

"The last time my therapist saw me was right after the accident."

She closed her eyes in anguish, remembering.

"Believe me, it's pretty new," he said.

She felt this overwhelming need to cry. The tears were already surfacing behind closed lids. She'd come to see Chuck to put him in his place once more for how he'd talked to Dan after hearing how the conversation had gone down in the lobby where she'd been waiting for Dan. Now though she realized that was the last thing Chuck needed, and that maybe Serena was right. Maybe she had been ignoring how much Chuck might be hurting.

She took a deep breath. "Well, I…"

"Why did you come here, Blair?" he asked, sadness etched in his eyes and crackling through his breaking voice.

Her heart clenched. "To put you in your place," she said honestly.

"You were waiting downstairs for Dan? This whole time?" His heart broke even as he said it. The memories of when she'd waited for _him_, been there for _him_, defended _him_, _loved him_ all rushed to his head. He was starting to lose it.

She nodded slowly.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "I don't mean to be harsh or rude, but the only thing I regret about what I said to Dan is giving away personal information that is mine alone to keep. Maybe Serena's."

She shook her head. "Why do you keep going to Serena?" she asked, truly confused.

"Why do you think, Blair?"

He was incredibly tempted to just pour out his heart to her, tell her how much he really was hurting and what he'd thought of doing to himself so many times within the last week.

But he wouldn't do that. Blair was happy with Dan. He wouldn't burden her with his feelings of heartbreak.

"Are you mad at me, Chuck?" she asked softly, sounding almost scared. He hated that. It wasn't fair that she should be hurting over him, not when she was clearly so happy without him. It wasn't fair how much he hurt over this. It wasn't right.

"_No_," he insisted. "I told you, Blair. I could never be mad at you."

"Well then, why do you hurt Dan on my account?"

"I don't-" He took another breath, willing himself not to lose his temper. "I can't…discuss that with you," he finally managed, shakily sighing afterwards.

"What did you expect we were going to talk about? Since you were planning on talking to me sometime anyways."

"I don't know," he said, fighting the desire to scream.

She blew out a puff of air; then looked at him intently, suddenly very serious. She stretched out her hand to cover his. He made no move to close his hand around hers. Her touch burned him.

"I _do_ love you, Chuck."

"Blair, stop-" he gasped. He ripped his hand away. "I can't go through that conversation again," he said fiercely. "I just can't." He was breathing somewhat heavily now.

She was surprised to see tears in his eyes. _Wow_. She hadn't realized. She'd had no idea of the hurt she had inflicted.

"Can you imagine," he said very quietly after a long dreadful silence, "having someone be so in love with you, they fought for you even when you didn't fight for them, even when you'd wronged them beyond belief to what you were certain would be their or your dying breath only to wake up one day and find out they'd suddenly fallen in love with someone else when you'd finally become worthy of them?"

She shook her head slowly, tears running down her face as they ran down his.

"No," she whispered.

He swallowed hard and nodded. Then he pulled a box of tissues out from beneath the bar and set it on the countertop so she could take some. He took some as well and their fingers touched when they reached for one at the same time. It was as if they'd both been struck by electricity at the same time. Their hands suddenly jerked back.

When her face was dry again she finally looked back up at him.

"I never meant to hurt you, Chuck," she said very quietly, her voice breaking.

He nodded slowly. "I know."

She sighed and ran her hand over her forehead and then tossed the hair draped over her collarbone to her back. It felt like she had a fever. She had to get out of there.

"I think I should…"

He nodded again and gulped.

"Yes."

She was shaking slightly as she slid off the barstool and headed for the elevator. Her purse felt like a heavy weight in the crook of her elbow. She didn't have the strength to lift it to her shoulder.

"Thanks for the drink," she muttered, the words lost in the sound of the elevator chime. She avoided any gaze Chuck might have given her until the doors closed behind her.

Chuck looked down at the drink she'd left behind. Hardly two sips had been taken from it. Maybe one. He took the contents of the glass and dumped it into the sink.

…

She was quiet on the way home. Didn't say a single word. Even when he'd seen her coming out of the elevators onto the lobby floor she hadn't so much as looked at him. If he hadn't pounded on the taxi after she'd slipped inside, he doubted he'd be in the same location she was now.

Apparently her visit with Chuck had gone worse than his had. Part of him was surprised. But the other part completely saw this coming. Chuck always hurt Blair worse than anyone else. He should have never let her go up there alone.

_No_. She was Blair Waldorf. She could handle herself. All the problems she'd had before they got together were now nonexistent. Whatever Georgina had set out to do in Monaco had succeeded. Blair was officially no longer a Grimaldi.

Why, then, did this seem so much worse?

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked hesitantly.

Blair was cuddled up on the couch by the window, staring at the floor.

"Blair?"

She sighed quietly.

He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. After a moment of letting herself sink into his embrace though, she untangled herself and scooted over to the other side of the couch. He watched her, nasty hot chills escalating throughout his body.

"We've done so much damage," she said, staring at the floor. She finally turned to him when he didn't say anything. Tears shimmered in her eyes. "I knew there were going to be consequences to us getting together. Lots of obstacles. But after Serena told me she was okay with it and I told Chuck that I didn't want to be with him and Georgina fixed everything with Louis, I just thought…"

"That it would be over," he finished for her. He grasped her hand as she nodded.

She turned to look at him.

"I should have known they were just keeping their mouths shut so I would be happy without feeling guilty." She sighed. "I guess I just wanted to be with you so badly I ignored the signs." She looked at him sadly.

"Hey," he said soothingly, holding her hand tightly. "You haven't done anything to intentionally hurt them. We've both kept our PDA very low key and gone to great lengths not to be around either of them while together."

She sighed, nodding. "I know. But maybe staying away from them when we're together is worse than making out right in front of them. It makes it look like we don't care about them at all."

He sighed. "Blair…"

"I told Chuck I loved him but I wasn't _in_ love with him. The day of Cece's funeral I told him that. Can you _imagine_ how hard that must have been for him to hear? After everything…" She shook her head, looking sadder than he'd her in a long time.

"You can't help who you have feelings for, Blair."

She didn't say anything, just sat staring down at their clasped hands.

"Hey." He turned her face so that she was looking directly into his eyes, then leaned forward and kissed her sweetly. "You haven't done anything wrong."

She tried to smile, but it was nearly impossible. Finally she stood to her feet.

"I think I'm gonna go home, try and persuade Serena to spend time with me."

His brows furrowed. "You're leaving?"

She nodded, now almost to the door.

"Blair, stop-" He pulled on her arm, making her turn toward him. "Don't let this affect us."

She looked at him sadly. "It already has."

"Are you…breaking up with me?"

"_No_," she said, very sure of that fact. "I'm not. That wouldn't fix anything. And besides, Chuck and Serena would feel responsible." She blew out a large puff of air, exhausted. Dan's soothing hand rubbing over her shoulder helped a little. She met his eyes. "I'm just so sick of this."

He looked at her sadly. "Why don't we get out of the city for a few days? Away to someplace where we don't have to watch our back every five seconds to make sure we're not hurting anybody."

She laughed sardonically. "It's like we're sneaking around in some forbidden relationship!" She burst out, walking away from the door. She plopped herself back on the couch and fumed.

Dan followed but she'd snapped to her feet again before he made it the full distance.

"And you know what else I hate about this? Maybe more than anything else. I'm losing Chuck completely."

"_Blair_."

"I'm serious!"

"You're not _losing_ him, Blair," he insisted. He wanted to push that maybe losing Chuck wasn't such a bad idea, but he'd seen how the bad boy had changed in the last six months. He couldn't let the history he had with Blair make him turn against Chuck.

"I am." She nodded. "Because I have no idea how to be _just friends_ with him anymore." She shook her head hopelessly. "Ever since we got together junior year, we've always been either pissed at each other or in love with each other. Even when we weren't together but were okay with each other, it was always with the intention that we would get together again sometime in the future. That was what made us okay with each other."

"Even when Louis came along?"

She nodded slowly. "I denied it completely of course, but deep down the fact that Louis was a _real_ prince told me that I was just fooling myself. When Chuck turned all good on me, there wasn't even a question as to who I wanted to be with. I think it was more guilt than anything else that I stayed with Louis. I didn't want to think a real prince with no flaws whatsoever had come along and he was still only a stand-in for Chuck."

"And now?" he asked quietly.

She smiled sadly. "You know the answer to that."

"I'm not sure I do."

She frowned.

"I did up until this moment, but-"

"Dan," she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I told you, you have my heart. How much clearer do I need to get?"

"I know, I know…it's just all this talk of Chuck has got me thinking you're not really over him."

She dropped her arms and narrowed her eyes.

"If I wasn't over Chuck, it would be him I'd be standing with right now. Not you."

He sighed. "It _is_ possible to like two people at the same time, Blair."

Her lips pursed and tightened into fierce determination.

"Even if that was the case, and I'm not saying it is, you would obviously be the one I loved more or, as previously stated, I wouldn't be standing here."

All his thinking processes had come to an abrupt halt halfway through her sentence.

"You _love_ me?" he asked, shocked. He hadn't expected such a confession so soon. They'd only been together for a little over three weeks.

"_Dan_," she sighed, and not in a good way.

He realized then that Chuck was obviously a problem. At the beginning, it seemed like Serena would be Blair's chief concern since they were best friends, but he was starting to realize, just like he had before the accident, that losing Chuck would be even worse for Blair.

_As if he could forget Blair's pact with God_, he scolded himself.

"Blair, I know it's not the time, but this is a monumental moment for us, and-"

"I'm a little more concerned for losing Chuck from my life _permanently_ than the next momentous occasion in our relationship," she interrupted, angry passion in her voice.

His eyebrows narrowed and he frowned. He was shell-shocked, stunned, and silent. Finally, he took a step away from her. And then another.

"Maybe you should go home, Blair," he said quietly, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and rubbing the nonexistent ache.

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck lift and a nasty chill cover every inch of her skin.

"You want me to leave?" she gulped.

"And _think_," he said. "If we're going to be together, you've got to get your priorities straight."

And suddenly she was very much pissed again.

"If you think I'm going to suddenly dismiss Chuck from my life, think again. We've been friends since we were kids and he helped me get through a _lot_ in high school. It's not just romantic history that I'm basing this off of."

_So, he'd been right. Chuck hadn't been a total dick in high school._

Realization dawned when he said nothing. The look on his face told her everything she needed to know.

"Oh my god." She gasped. "Chuck didn't say anything against you today, did he? He defended himself and me. He poured out his heart to you and…you…you told me— Oh my god." She shook her head. "I can't believe this." Her head snapped up to his. "I think you're right. I think I do need to leave."

"Blair, wait-"

She halted in the doorway, purse in hand and a determined angry look on her face.

"You should know, _Humphrey_, that things started to go downhill with Louis and I only _after_ Louis got jealous of Chuck."

She ignored his lost, regretful stare and slammed the door in his face.

…

Nate nodded down the hall to Chuck's room when she stepped through the door.

"What's going on?" she asked him.

"No idea. But he's been in there all afternoon. Hasn't come out even for a drink and I haven't gone out with Lola or anything. When you told me about the crazy text he sent you I knew something was up."

She nodded and sighed.

"Was anyone else here today?"

"It's possible that Dan was, but Chuck hasn't spoken."

Serena pursed her lips.

"Also…the ingredients for a particular cocktail were out on the bar when I came out here. I know for sure Dan _and_ Chuck don't drink those."

"_Blair_," she breathed.

Nate nodded. "That's what I'm thinking."

She took a deep breath. "Alright. I'm going in."

"Good luck." He forced a smile, but worry was plain on his face. She swallowed hard and began making her way down the hall.

The door was opened a crack. She knocked lightly but the shuffling about inside blocked out the sound. She tried again, this time a little louder, but Chuck never appeared in front of her. She pushed the door open and found him rummaging through his stuff and tossing various suits in the direction of a suitcase on his bed. She had never seen him be so careless over his clothes in her life.

"Chuck? What's going on?"

He suddenly stopped and looked up at her.

"_Serena_."

Relief and an uncharacteristic joy colored his face. Serena felt unbelievably loved at that moment. She reminded herself though that she still needed to be concerned. His text about her running away with him for a couple weeks had been mildly disturbing, especially since he had insisted on doing it _tonight_.

He frowned when he saw she had come empty-handed.

"Where's your stuff?"

"Downstairs. They're holding it for me in the lobby," she said offhandedly. It wasn't a lie. She'd brought a suitcase packed two-weeks' worth, just in case there was some logic to his demand.

He nodded once and smiled briefly. "Good. I'm almost done. Then we can go."

She looked at the pile of clothes on his bed and begged to differ but said nothing. Instead she crossed the room and sank into a chair.

"So, what's going on, Chuck?" She assumed the role of a therapist.

"Just thought we could get away for awhile. It's been nice the last couple days…the two of us hanging out. If we go away, there won't be as many interruptions."

"And heartbreak?" she offered.

He stopped briefly, thumbing his way through the hung suits in his closet.

"Yes. That too."

"Chuck…" she sighed. "What happened today?"

He turned around. "What are you talking about?"

"Did Dan or Blair stop by?"

He stiffened.

She nodded. "Double duty. Okay, look." She stood to her feet and stared him down. "I know what you went through today was probably hard, but-"

"_Hard_?" he laughed. And just like that his guard was down. "With all due respect, Serena, you have no idea what I went through today."

She braced herself and buried every self defense and accusation that came to mind.

"What happened?" she asked. He was too much in a rage to notice how forced the question was.

"Dan came over." He tossed another suit onto the bed. "Tried to fucking apologize and then proceeded to tell me how much of an ass I've been to Blair and how I don't deserve her. Threw all my mistakes in my face, the hotel, Jenny, _everything_."

Overwhelming compassion suddenly struck her.

"Oh Chuck…"

"And then he dared to ask me if we could still be friends!" he fumed.

She looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry."

He cleared his throat after he'd calmed down somewhat. She saw his throat working and knew that he was thinking of the next cause to his misery. This one hurt more.

"Then Blair came to see me," he said sadly. "Apparently she'd just been waiting in the lobby to hear Dan's report on what had gone down." His throat worked again, swallowing hard. "Safe to say that conversation ended in tears, not angry yelling." His eyes looked up to hers, and she could see the tears starting to surface in his eyes. "We cried, Serena." His voice broke. "Both of us." He sighed. "She…she didn't even finish the cocktail I made her. Her favorite one, you know?"

Serena nodded sadly.

"After a while I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and come up with a new plan. We've been sulking for too long. We need to do something about it or we're going to be stuck in this limbo forever."

She looked intrigued.

"I'm listening. What did you have in mind?"

"Time travel."

"_What_?" she blanched.

"Okay, hear me out." He came around the bed and walked towards her. "I know I said it was a load of crap this morning, and technically it probably is, but we can't keep reliving these memories of us with them in our heads day in and day out."

"So your solution is to go back in time and see a more solid visual?"

"_No_. Fix them. Like you suggested."

"Chuck, I was in my innocent place and probably still half drunk at the time." She paused. "Though, I am curious. What in the world could have made you change your mind?"

"I looked into the Bass Inc. accounts and my own personal funds, along with the income from the Empire. We have more than enough money to fund some research."

"But that could take months, Chuck. Or years! People have been researching time travel farther back than I can even imagine."

He sighed and nodded. "Yes, I know that, which is why this may be a shot in the dark, but I think we should make a go for it. We'll go to the Hamptons for a couple weeks while the research is going on. If nothing comes of it, we'll come back with some solid ground under our feet after being away from Dan and Blair for awhile. But maybe we'll get lucky."

She looked into his hopeful eyes and knew that she was going to say yes even though she was feeling more doubtful than he had that morning.

"Why me?" she asked.

"You're the only one who has even the faintest idea of what I'm going through right now, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm the same person for you."

She nodded. "Yes. You are."

"So?"

She pulled herself to her feet and smiled brightly at him.

"Let's find that time machine."

…..

A/N: That was INSANELY long. Lol. Hopefully next chapter they'll finally make the leap. Please review! ;)


	4. Whispered Voices

A/N: Here it is! The time-traveling chapter! *drum roll*

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

**Ch.4—Whispered Voices**

The warm sun beat against her face, soaking in every inch of her skin. It was still only early March but it was warmer in the Hamptons and she was planning on taking advantage of every second of it.

It'd been a week since that spur-of-the-moment epiphany Chuck had on giving in to her crazy idea of looking into time travel. They had left that night, after Chuck realized how very careless he'd been in packing his suits. She managed to get him to put half of them away since he did have clothes in the Hampton house and it would be somewhat warmer there. She also insisted that he would have to spend some time baking in the sun with her and wouldn't want a business suit on to do that. Eventually he'd consented.

It had been harder than she anticipated to get Ivy to let them stay at their Hampton house, because it was another, among many other things that was included in Cece's will. In the end, Chuck's charm and billions of dollars were the selling point. He out-bought her. By the end of the transaction, Ivy looked more bored than anything else. For some reason that annoyed Serena.

Everything looked the same when they finally arrived at the big white house. Though they'd both been there many times before, nearly every summer in fact, one summer in particular stood out. They shared one look once they got inside the house that said it all. There were no words needed.

Summer before senior year. The summer they had tried to recuperate from losing Dan and Blair, basically the first time.

The first time Chuck walked out on the patio it all came rushing back to him, as if the memory was being relived in his head. He was so stubborn then, and such an ass. He should have asked to talk to Blair alone right then, should've apologized instead of waiting until the following night. More than anything he shouldn't have let her leave him without telling her he loved her.

But he couldn't do anything about that now. Or at least not _yet_.

She didn't hear him walking out to the backyard at nearly three in the afternoon. The sun had absorbed her and she felt neither time nor place. All she knew was that she felt fantastic and when she felt the light brush of wind signaling to her that someone had just sat in the patio chair beside her, she felt even better.

The sound of the pink lemonade being poured into a glass on the table between them made her open her eyes. Chuck caught her glance. He raised his eyebrows in questioning.

"Yes, please," she said daintily.

He smirked and poured some of the lemonade into a second glass, then handed it to her. She took a long sip and then wiped her mouth clean of the remaining liquid. She noticed he was staring at her after she attempted to lick her face clean.

"What?"

He shook his head and smiled.

"Nothing. You just… you look like you're having fun."

She wanted to smack him because she could have sworn there was sarcasm laced thickly in his voice. But he'd been so real with her ever since they'd embarked on this journey that she couldn't tell if he was simply enjoying the sight of her not sunk in depression. She couldn't blame him on that regard. She was enjoying not _feeling_ depressed. Never in a million years could she have imagined going away with Chuck on a mini-vacation, but she couldn't remember the last time things had ever felt so right as they did right here, right now with her devoted, protective, charming step-brother.

He handed her a napkin and she quickly dabbed at her mouth and the surrounding area until all of the sticky pink liquid had disappeared.

"Did you hear anything new?" she asked before he could further comment on her napkin-dabbing, even to so much as smirk.

He shook his head.

"No. Same thing as last time. They've 'made progress', but it's not enough to really inform me of much. Not _that_ much progress, I guess."

"You think they're playing you?" she asked. "People will do a lot for money, Chuck. It's not like you're even going down to see exactly what they're doing."

"We'll go down tomorrow," he informed her. "I'm not stupid, but there also isn't a whole lot I can tell over the phone. These are genuine researchers so they wouldn't just pretend they're working when they're not. Besides, they know if I don't see any progress I'll shut them down in a week."

Her eyes widened. "You threatened to shut them down?"

"No one else is funding them. Technically it's the same thing."

"Wow. Maybe they're intimidated by you then."

"With good reason." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes. "Might want to downplay that a little," she muttered.

"Why?" he asked far too innocently.

"Because we're on a _time crunch_," she said deliberately. "Even the smallest development they're not going to tell you about because they want to impress you."

"I thought you just said they're trying to squeeze money out of me by being vague over the phone." He smiled.

She rolled her eyes. "That wasn't exactly how I worded it."

"Regardless, you and I are going to go down there tomorrow. The research lab isn't far away, maybe two hours. If serious progress has been made, we can hope for something by the end of the week. While they're putting the last-minute details into place, we'll start coming up with a plan on how exactly we're going to… 'fix things'."

She whistled. "Wow. It's really happening, isn't it?"

He lifted his glass and clinked it against hers. "Here's hoping."

This time she didn't drink as much and he didn't comment on any lingering pink liquid on her face. She hid a smile though because there was some on his. After awhile she discreetly tossed a napkin his way when she went inside the house. Not so discreetly, he wiped his face clean.

….

Her heart was beating fast. Too fast.

She was nervous.

Too nervous.

_Would he take her back? Would he throw her to the street? Was he with Serena now? Had they…? It wouldn't be the first time Serena had gotten involved with her step-sibling._

It was dark, late, much later than when she'd left Dan fuming in his own apartment. Her tears were dried from the encounter. They'd said words. She could have sworn she threw something.

But that didn't matter now.

Nothing did.

Nothing but this.

_His_ reaction. His sole reaction. She could breathe again if only he would take her.

She knocked but no one answered. That was both good and bad, especially since she hit the white wood a few more times. There was no maid service for one; they wouldn't be distracted and she wouldn't be announced to the entire household – yes, of only two people, but _still_. However, how she would get in now served to be the problem.

The door knob didn't budge, didn't turn or twist in the least. Frustrated, she stepped back off the porch and looked for any way onto the second floor. She knew Chuck's room was on the far left and that even though he hadn't occupied that room more than a few years, and hardly even then, he had his ways of getting in and out without using the front or back door.

She walked around the house and smirked when she saw it: a white ladder that blended almost completely into the side of the house. Looking down at herself, she realized she was by no means dressed for climbing, but she slipped out of her heels and prepared the climb. She had to do this. The second she got in the car and told the driver to head for the Hamptons, she knew there was no going back.

The ladder stopped short. She frowned and realized then that in order to get inside she'd have to maneuver herself with an almost possible twisting of her body and tight jump in through Chuck's window. The problem? Chuck's window was shut, locked and there was no sign of anyone being in that room.

_At least they weren't doing it in his room_, she encouraged herself.

Resolved to knock on the front door one last time before most likely abandoning the venture to drown her sorrows in a nearby hotel and grovel to Dan the next morning – if she felt up to it, she started to lower herself back down the ladder.

What she had not bothered to consider however was the fact that the ladder was not glued onto the side of the house, and that in trying to reach Chuck's window she'd unlatched the ladder from its secure position.

Desperate, she tried to push her weight towards the house but gravity won out. She started screaming, reaching out for the side of the house or the window, banging on both only once before her flailing about almost sent her crashing to the ground – _and probably to her death_, she decided, already writing the tragic tale in her head. Maybe researchers would research the ability to dissect thoughts in the human brain after people had died and potentially use that information for some unknown reason. When that day came, the future writers of the world, most likely her ill-fated Dan Humphrey (and offspring) would write about this horrific incident. It was certainly novel-worthy.

Just before she fell to her death, a strong hand caught her arm and she screamed louder.

She had obviously died and been so terrified in the seconds before that she hadn't even felt it. Now she was…floating among those still living. _Fantastic_. She was a _ghost_.

When she didn't move for awhile though and realized she was in fact still alive. She looked up and saw Chuck's exasperated face as he struggled to pull her up. Serena came up beside him and gasped, assisting him in the act as she pushed the window farther open.

"_Blair_. What are you _doing_ here?"

Serena was officially in panic mode, clutching Blair tightly to her once she was inside the room. The brunette decided maybe she had been jumping to conclusions when she heard Chuck and Serena had gone away together.

"I…um," she cleared her throat, "I came to see you," she said, first looking at both of them so as not to show favoritism, but inevitably her eyes landed on Chuck's. Heat suddenly flooded between them. Even Serena could feel it.

"Ever tried using the front door?" Serena asked, still a little exasperated at catching a glimpse of Blair flailing past Chuck's window on her way to the bathroom, and being _right_.

"I tried that. No one answered."

Chuck and Serena exchanged a concerned look and Blair very well considered leaving altogether. But she couldn't. For some reason everything else that had happened to her tonight left room for possibilities but she abandoned them all. This one instance though, she felt like fighting for. She felt it was worthy…somehow more than the rest. She couldn't explain it. It troubled her.

"Well, uh…we were just getting a drink at the bar down the hallway." Chuck gestured to where they'd been.

Blair's pursed lips and nod acknowledged the situation.

Serena looked between the two. Now would be a good time for Blair to apologize, she decided. And to explain herself. She certainly wasn't giving any apologies to _her_. She was her #2 priority and in all honesty, Blair would probably prefer she not be there. No, this was not the solution they'd all been waiting for whatever else it was. This was Blair coming for Chuck. Serena didn't know what to think.

"Should I make you something to drink?" she asked to fill up the silence.

"Oh, I-"

"Can we have a moment?" Chuck interrupted.

Serena's jaw dropped, surprised. After everything she certainly didn't expect Chuck to step up and take hold of the reins. He wasn't the one coming to _hopefully_ apologize.

"Y-Yeah…sure, of course," she stuttered, smiling briefly at the two whose eyes remained glued to each other even after the door was closed.

As soon as Serena had left, Chuck went to the door to flip on the light switch. Then he turned back to Blair who hadn't moved an inch. He walked back to her and slipped his hands into his pockets.

"So…you tried to climb into my window," he informed her, smiling slowly.

She blushed.

"I think…Romeo was a bit smoother," he remarked.

Her eyes snapped up to his. She didn't know what she expected to find but the teasing smirk and the light in his eyes certainly hadn't come to mind.

"I…th-the window was _locked_."

He raised his eyebrows at her defense, but when she stuck to it and didn't say another word, he let it drop. Farther down than he would have liked.

"Why are you here, Blair?" he asked softly.

She thought she heard bitterness in his words. She deserved it. She deserved any and all hatred he had towards her. But on the other hand, he had just saved her life.

"Thank-you," she said, suddenly realizing, "for saving my life. Again." She seemed completely mind-boggled by that fact. She was still trying to comprehend it.

He looked tired. Incredibly tired. She wondered if their 'situation' had caused him some sleepless nights. She'd been doing alright until recently.

"You're welcome," he said, surprising her. Then he waited. That also surprised her.

As if she was discovering it all over again, how much Chuck had grown since they'd last been in this place was enormous and flashing right in front of her face. He wasn't demanding, wasn't trying to turn everything to his advantage. He was just there, waiting for her, being gentle, accepting what she had to give and preparing to deal with the hard cards she might throw at him.

Her tensed shoulders relaxed. There was a swirling energy around them now that felt very much like love. She desired it.

"I'm sorry," she said.

His brows furrowed in confusion.

She walked forward and hesitantly placed her hands on his chest, one over his beating heart. The rhythms she felt against her skin thrummed through her, like she'd been sucked into the eye of a storm that would never ceased.

Chuck gasped. If he lost his breath completely and passed out right at this moment, he would not be surprised.

She looked up at him.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you…before."

He looked at her strangely. She had said so many things. It was too much to hope for that she was apologizing for what had hurt him most.

"I still love you, Chuck."

"Blair-" He started to pull her hands off him. When was she going to get that it _hurt_ for him to hear that she didn't love him the way she had?

She stole her hands back and cupped his face. He was tense but he didn't pull away.

"I'm _in love_ with you," she said softly, her voice barely a whisper.

His eyes widened.

"I don't know how I ever could have stopped, or ever thought differently." She gave him a tiny smile.

"Blair…" he was completely speechless.

"_Shh, don't…let me…_"

She placed her hand over his lips and then replaced her fingers with her mouth. Pulling him to her, she kissed him. He returned the kiss hungrily, like a desperate man who had gone hungry for a very long time. His hands twisted in her curls as he pushed them across the room, gripping her every curve. When she moaned, it was _his_ name he heard and he'd never felt more alive.

His mind was screaming at him that this needed to wait. He needed to interrogate her, see what had happened to change her mind, if she'd actually broken up with Dan, where things stood between them…but a switch had gone off when she kissed him, when she admitted that her change of heart had been completely untrue, and he was willing to forgive it, just to have her.

Just to have her.

…

When he woke up hours later, Blair was snuggled up against him, her back to his chest. His arm was around her waist, holding her protectively to him. His face was deep in her curls and for the life of him he couldn't believe this had happened. Here she was, his beautiful angel, in his arms again, willingly. Because she was _in love_ with him. _Only_ him.

_You don't know that._

He wanted to swat away that doubting voice but it wouldn't leave him alone. It came to him at the most inconvenient moments, but it happened more frequently once he was on the road to recovery. He decided that probably meant it was his conscience. That made more sense than anything else, because it was perfectly understandable why someone would want to switch off such a negative, annoying…thing.

She breathed in and out softly and he got chills. Literal _chills_. It had been so long since he'd gotten chills like these, the good ones, the ones that told you this feels too good to be real.

_It is._

He narrowed his brows even as the voice pointed its wagging finger in his mind. _Did it really have to be so damn negative?_

_ You're not thinking clearly. Do you want to have your heart broken all over again?_

Evidently, this voice did not have any brain cells whatsoever.

Blair moaned in her light slumber and it happened again. Another ripple of chills down his back. She blinked when their noses touched and pulled back a little. She sighed contently and smiled. His heart soared. She touched the side of his face, pushing away the tousled hair and he wanted to marry her right there, right now.

_Slow. Down. Ask. Her._

If this voice had any decent set of balls they would be kicked to high heaven by now. Because he _knew_ the asking being referred to wasn't a question that involved going down on one knee and offering a sparkling ring in a velvet box.

Inwardly, he sighed. He knew the questions needed to be asked or everything that had happened tonight would be only a dream in the morning.

"I love you." Her fingers danced across his face.

But couldn't he just have this _one goddamned moment_? Couldn't he draw it out as much was possible? Couldn't he hold her just a little while longer?

The look of love in her eyes could slaughter any man, dead or alive.

And that's when he realized it.

He blinked.

This strange overwhelming feeling he was having wasn't brand new at all, and it went much farther back than just when they were almost together the night of the accident.

It went way back to the beginning.

When he'd lay with her during the night and she would give him her rapt attention and he'd swear she was in love with him. Then in the morning she'd know he wasn't because one look from Nathaniel and her heart would be someplace else.

He was still sharing her.

"Blair." He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. She looked up at him with dazed, starry eyes. This was just like it was, he reminded himself, unspeakable fury growing in him. She'd be so into him. It was as if no one else in the world mattered. No one but him. He was her world.

Oh, and then that other guy.

"Mm?" she asked, her fingers still threading through his hair.

"What happened with you and Dan?"

Her fingers stilled. He braced himself. This was it. This was the end. And he was already feeling the hurt, just how it laced through him every time he saw Nate and Blair together after she'd abandoned her vow to stay away from who she _truly loved_.

"What do you mean?" she asked innocently, resuming her fingers' movement in his hair.

He sighed and pulled her hand out of his hair and back to his side. When she frowned playfully, he knew this was serious. He had to put some distance between them.

He stood to his feet and crossed the room to put on his robe.

"Chuck?" Blair asked, panic etching into her voice. She knew what was coming and she was in full blown denial. It reminded him very much of junior year high school Blair, but this time the triangle consisted of god-awful Humphrey, not best friend Nathaniel.

And this time Blair was incredibly secure of him leaving.

This girl had no idea what she really wanted.

"Blair, did you break up with Dan?" he asked point-blank. Her jaw dropped.

"What? I mean, uh…hmm….what?"

He walked back towards her at the bed but refused to lie back down.

"Did you break up with Dan?" he asked again.

"I…"

He wouldn't assume anything. He _wouldn't_.

"Do you love him?"

"I…"

"Are you _in love_ with him?"

His gaze was so hot it pierced through her. She hated how he knew her so well, even when she didn't know herself, even when she thought she knew herself but found out the hard way she really didn't.

"I…" she huffed, then threw the blankets off her and stood to her feet, angrily glaring at him. "What do you want from me, Chuck? I told you I was in love with you again!"

He forced himself to remain calm.

"Did you or did you not break up with Humphrey?"

Her lips were tightly snapped shut. She wouldn't break. She _wouldn't_.

Finally he couldn't take it. "Should I call him myself and ask him?" he challenged.

She gasped when he started to cross the room to get his phone.

"_What_? No!"

He retrieved his phone but held it far enough away from her that she couldn't reach it. It was almost amusing to try to see her grab it when he clearly wasn't planning on following through with his threat.

"Blair."

Her eyes snapped back to his and she composed herself when he slipped the phone idly into his pocket.

"Tell me the truth. Do you love him?"

She sighed. "Yes."

He tensed, but knew he had to press through.

"Are you _in love_ with him?"

"…yes," she said, much quieter this time. He could barely hear her.

But he had, and he was completely and utterly broken. He had been betrayed once again. He was the second choice. Things had gone wrong with Humphrey and he was the safety net she wouldn't have to look twice at in the morning.

The scene was all too familiar.

"Then what the hell is this, Blair?" he asked, forcing himself to keep his voice at a normal level, forcing himself to remain calm.

"I-I…I love you, Chuck," she pleaded.

He shook his head at her. "You've lost your mind." He started moving across the room, gathering her clothes together. She followed him, desperate.

"No, Chuck—I _do_ love you. I'm _in love_ with you. I love _both_ of you!"

He stopped and straightened, tossing the stack of clothes onto the bed.

"Tell me the truth, Blair. _Please_. For _both_ our sake's. Hell, even for _Humphrey's_."

Her eyes watered.

"I-"

"And please don't babble," he requested. Her words were empty enough without the stuttering that came before, after and during.

"We're on a break!" she finally said.

He gawked.

"Who?" he finally asked.

"Dan and me," she said. "We had a fight. It was about you…it was bad, and I…we, well, we decided….to go on a break."

He scoffed and shook his head.

"How very Ross and Rachel of you."

"_Chuck_," she cried desperately.

"No." He shook his head, grabbed her clothes and forced her to take them. "I'm not doing this again. I did this in high school. I'm not doing it now. I'm not going to be your second choice. I'm not going to share you with anyone. Not as far as love interests go. I'm just…" He tried to ignore her tear-filled eyes. "I'm not."

"Chuck," she whimpered.

Finally, he looked at her. His heartstrings were severely yanked on at the sight of her sad face, but he knew there was not a damn thing he could do about it. He had to be strong.

"You need to figure out who you are, Blair, and what you want," he said, gently now. "Somewhere along the way you lost yourself and Dan happened to be there. He took advantage of you and now you're a shell of the woman I once knew." He stared at her so sadly it made her fall apart even more. Her first instinct had been to defend her relationship with Dan, but the sincerity and seriousness in everything Chuck said and how he spoke overwhelmed her and she could not speak.

Chuck took a deep breath, cursing himself a million times over for how much he was letting go when it was standing right in front of him. But he knew it had to be done. He couldn't have her this way. Just like he couldn't when the weight of the dowry stood between them.

"When you find yourself again, I'll be waiting." A tear on both cheeks streamed down her face as he kissed her forehead.

He pulled back then and held her face in his hands.

"Because Blair, I will love you and be in love with you forever. _Only_ you. I will wait for you. But…" he pulled back completely and shook his head. "You have to find yourself first."

He walked to the door and opened it.

"Arthur's parked in the driveway. He can give you a ride back to the city."

He didn't look at her as she left the room. He had enough of her brokenhearted face imprisoned in his mind to torture him for a lifetime.

….

She'd never seen him this determined. Not like this. He was broken inside, but you'd never know it just by looking at him. If she hadn't overheard Chuck and Blair's fight and seen Blair running down the stairs in a fit of tears, she might have missed it.

Once again, in his emotionally unstable condition, Chuck had insisted on them leaving in the middle of the night to go to the laboratory and see what stage the lab scientists were actually at. He said they were just going to see the status of their progress so they would know how to plan in future days, but Serena had an eerie feeling that after that night, he would throw all rational thought to the wind and insist on going back in time _tonight_, if anything whatsoever was available to him.

So, she packed a small bag of her things. It would be five years back at the most, she gathered, so if she really didn't have something, it could always be purchased. There was a voice in her mind laughing at her relentlessly that she was taking this so seriously, because in reality this type of thing just didn't happen. Even in his desperation, Chuck must've realized that.

But he was not thinking clearly, and he'd be thinking even less clearly if this time travel thing didn't work tonight. She prepared herself to do whatever necessary that would prevent him from doing something stupid tonight, or something harmful.

The limo stopped in front of the almost completely dark building. There was one light igniting a room on what looked to be the basement floor.

She grabbed his hand just as he went for the door. He turned back to her.

"We don't have to do this, you know. I mean, tonight we don't have to."

"_I_ have to," he said.

She was going to remind him what he'd told Blair. That he'd _wait_ for her. How could he wait for her if he was going back in time to change what had happened?

But she saw the desperation on his face and knew she couldn't deny him this. She wouldn't let him go through this alone. Just like he wouldn't if the roles had been reversed.

Three long dark hallways later they found the one lit room. Serena was grateful for this one determined lab scientist. When everyone else had gone home because it'd gotten late and they were too tired to keep their eyes opened, he had stayed on. He was a workaholic. At the particular moment, she was grateful to people like that who worked too much.

The man was in his mid-30s and clearly not afraid of Chuck, but he was eager to show the progress he made and that made for an excellent combination.

"What have you come up with?" Chuck demanded. Serena wished she could blame it on him being drunk, but that couldn't possibly be used as an excuse. He wasn't acting drunk. He was acting snappy, his broken heart fueling the rage in his voice.

Very calmly, the man brought out the pile of papers he had written formulas on. Then he brought out a tray of green and red gel pills. Chuck looked down at them conspicuously.

"_Explain_," he said.

The man cleared his throat.

"Well, theoretically, the red pills send you to wherever you want to go and the green pills bring you back."

Chuck's brows furrowed. "Theoretically?"

"They haven't been tested," he said.

Serena gawked. "They haven't been _tested_? Chuck, let's go. I'm sure they'll have better results after they've been tested out."

"What about that blue one?" Chuck asked, ignoring her.

The man turned to see the small tray Chuck was looking at where a blue gel pill sat.

"Ah." He turned back around. "That's supposed to erase all your time travel."

"_What_?" Chuck asked, confused and a little panicked.

The man took a breath, maintaining his patience. He was tired. But this was his employer and he was proud of his progress.

"If you don't like what happens when you travel back and forth through time, this pill, also theoretically, will erase all of that and take you to the place you were before you took any of these pills."

Chuck's brows were still furrowed. "Huh."

Serena was worried by his intrigue, so she intervened before he could speak again.

"Why haven't these been tested, Mr….?"

"Daniels," he said. "_Dr_. Daniels," he clarified. "And they haven't been tested because no one wants to risk it, for obvious reasons."

"How do you determine with the pills where you go in time?" Chuck interrupted.

Dr. Daniels turned around to grab a tray from the table where the blue pill sat. When he came back he had a plate of syringes in his hands. Serena's eyes widened.

"We put a formula into these syringes." He pointed to the dials and mark on the syringes. "See these marks and tabs? You push it to the date you want and then we set the syringes in this machine." He led them over to a machine attached to a computer. "It configures and reformulates the formula. When it beeps, it's done. Another indication is that the liquid inside glows red."

"Then what?" Chuck asked, intensely curious now, bordering on excitement. Serena grew more concerned, but realized she was also anticipating what would happen next.

"You inject yourself like you would for a shot. It takes about five minutes to take effect."

"And then…?"

"You've travelled through time," he said, a smug smile on his face. "Theoretically," he quickly said, so they wouldn't sue him in the future on the basis that he guaranteed it.

Chuck blew out a puff of air. "Wow. Well, it's certainly impressive."

"Yes, it is…" Serena said skeptically. She latched onto Chuck to prevent him from downing any of the pills without thinking. "What do the pills have to do with it?"

"The pills activate the formula. They're a means of making sure you make it through time without disintegrating into a million pieces in the process. You need both to travel through time. They act as so much sugar water on their own."

"Sugar water," Chuck repeated, smirking.

"Mm," he acknowledged.

"Well, let's do it."

Dr. Daniels' jaw dropped. So did Serena's.

"It hasn't been _tested_, Chuck." Serena tightened her grip on him.

He turned to her. "Relax, Sis. We'll formulate all the possible times we can go back to, so we can sort of 'escape' if something goes wrong."

"And what about the _process_? What if something goes wrong _there_?"

"What could possibly go wrong there?" he asked nonchalantly.

She was starting to wonder if maybe he HAD had something to drink when she wasn't looking. When she came to the conclusion that all his rational thought had gone out the window, she hadn't realized that literally _all_ of it had.

"Possible scenarios, Dr. Daniels," Chuck requested.

"I…uh," he stuttered. Serena gave him a very serious warning glare. She was desperate now. He cleared his throat. "The formula is not toxic to the body per se, but if it were, most likely all that would need to happen would be for it to…pass through the other end, if you get my meaning."

Chuck smiled, satisfied. "See, sis? Nothing to worry about."

"Couldn't we also be shattered into oblivion or stuck in some in between time place?" Serena fumed.

Dr. Daniels gulped. "That is also a possibility, yes."

Chuck brushed it off. "I doubt that'll happen, and even if it does, it can't be much worse than what I'm going through now."

Serena's face softened, compassion engulfing her like it had a week ago and tonight before they left, and on the way over.

"Chuck…" she said, soothingly touching his shoulder.

He turned to her though, without a single sign of heartbreak on his face.

"I'm doing this with or without you, Serena," he said, dead serious. She gaped, but didn't recover long enough to stop him from giving Dr. Daniels the details of each red pill's destination. By the time she'd come up with more reasons to stop him, the first syringe with glowing red liquid as predicted was being put into his arm and when she finally got her mouth shut from it dropping open once again, he had swallowed the red pill.

"Chuck!" she cried.

"Serena," he walked towards her. "I have to do this. I have to fight it. This isn't the first time Blair's lost her way. I have to stop it from happening. I have to make it right."

"Not like this," she begged. "Please. Take the other pill. Don't go."

"I left the details with him," he said, gesturing back to Dr. Daniels. "If I make it there, follow the same dates."

"Where do I meet you?" she asked desperately, unsure of how much longer he'd be there with her.

"The Palace."

"Chuck. That's _too_ close to your younger self. Isn't—wait, when are you going back to?"

"Room 1813," he clarified.

And then he was gone.

Her jaw dropped. "He's gone." She turned to Dr. Daniels and looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "He's gone," she said again, this time extreme anxiety in her voice.

He rushed to her, afraid she was going to faint. He managed to get her to a chair and offer her water, but she declined.

"When did he go to?" she asked, deciding trying to analyze what had just happened would be completely pointless, no matter how mindboggling it was.

He turned back to the notes and the various dates written down. He found the first one.

"Uh…December 1st, 2007."

She sat up, alarmed.

"What? Does that mean something to you?"

She gawked and then turned away, running a hand over her forehead. "Yes, god yes. That…oh my god. He's going back to _Cotillion_."

His brows furrowed. "I'm sorry?"

She snapped to her feet and walked straight towards him, abandoning all fears and anxieties to the wind. "Alright, fix me up. Same dates. Everything."

"Uh…"

"_Duplicates!_ _Now!_" she said, suddenly much louder than before. "He's not paying you to look pretty. If he screws up, I have to _save_ him."

Looking more agitated than he had during the entire conversation, Dr. Daniels shuffled about between the pills, syringes and large computerized formula machine, setting up the identical dates on all devices while Serena stood there staring at him and tapping her foot impatiently.

….

A/N: Sorry I didn't go back in time yet, but I still needed build up! XD And besides, Chuck is traveling as we speak…lol Also, as I'm sure you're well aware, I heard your cries about a CB reunion being ridic right now! ;D Hope you enjoyed. Please review. :P


	5. Through the Looking Glass

A/N: This is so late! I'm so sorry! Please forgive.

And review. =P

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.5—Through the Looking Glass**

_December 2, 2007_

She kept her eyes glued to the menu she knew by heart as he not so subtly stared at her from across the small round table covered in lace.

Sunday brunch.

There was nothing out of the ordinary about this. She and Chuck always had breakfast together on the weekends. Since brunch was more frequent on Sundays for anyone in their small group, they had shifted the morning meal to later in the day. Just because she had allowed him to frequent her presence in a more…_personal_ way since her birthday party did not mean they should stop their little tradition.

In fact, it would probably be better if they didn't.

People might get suspicious.

Not that there was anybody particularly interested in her and Chuck's association. Even Serena's piqued interest seemed to have downsized in the last week. She knew it was mostly due to her restraint on her emotions in front of her best friend.

Because if she had been forward and completely honest with her best friend, every time she thought of Chuck in her private moments, she felt like she was on cloud nine, floating, and laughing at all the lesser being that were unable to achieve that level of giddiness.

She felt the toe of his shoe gliding up the underside of her calf, but did not look up. Her eyes froze on the meal in the menu she'd been staring at. She couldn't even tell what it was anymore because her eyes were boring into the tan color behind the black words. Her vision was starting to blur and a shiver ripped up her spine. When the waiter arrived, she daintily uncrossed and crossed her legs on the other side of the table.

"The usual," she told the waiter, smiling politely as she handed him her menu.

She ignored Chuck's muffled chuckle. It was almost worse than the heated stare he'd been branding on her forehead while she'd been pretending to make a decision on what to eat, but she wouldn't dare let him know it was bothering her.

Chuck finished his order and the waiter left, leaving them alone. Chuck was smiling like a Cheshire cat when she looked up at him. For a moment she tried to ignore it, but then she caved.

"What?" she asked, annoyed. But the tone wasn't as dangerous as it normally sounded and Chuck took great pleasure in that.

She was warming up to him.

"Nothing. You just amuse me is all."

Her eyebrows narrowed.

"Excuse me?"

"You pretend you're going to order something new every Sunday, and every Saturday if we're counting all the morning meals we eat together, and yet you still get the same thing every time."

She scoffed. "We don't go to the same place every time," she said condescendingly.

"True," he consented, "but when we do, you still always get the same thing. It's like…you're programmed or something. You have to stick to a certain schedule or you'll start to feel on edge."

He was daring her indirectly and it made her blood start to boil. She knew he was doing it on purpose too. As they'd both discovered, she was far more…_fierce _in her physical affection when he had pushed her too hard beforehand.

"That's not true."

"It is."

"It's _not_."

"It _is_. And I'll bet you anything it has to do with your mother."

She was so outraged she could have stood to her feet and stomped out of the restaurant. Instead she clenched her hands into fists and forced herself to regain her emotional footing. She would not let him win at this.

"I'll order something else right now if it'll make you feel better," she said confidently, though deep inside she wondered if somehow her mother would find out and lecture her later, force her to eat less at dinner, if that was even possible. Maybe she wouldn't be around. Also a possibility.

His lips quirked at the corner.

"You'd let _me_ decide what you should do?" he asked curiously.

The face and tone were innocent. The eyes were not. She could read every sexual innuendo in those eyes. She could also see him undressing her every time she looked into them. What disturbed her even more was the fact that when she blocked out any sort of judgment her moral compass gave, she liked those looks he gave her.

She liked them a lot.

"And since when do you care about my _feelings_?" he taunted.

She cleared her throat.

"I don't," she said flippantly, her eyes lifting to his.

"Wanna get out of here?" he asked huskily, his foot starting to inch up the underside of her leg again. She uncrossed her legs and dug her high heel into the toe of his shoe.

He stifled a groan and winced.

She took a sip of her water and then looked up at him, bitch smile in place and angelic eyes gazing sweetly at him.

"Habit," she said by way of apology.

He was still recovering when she swung her leg back over her knee and accidentally-on-purpose kicked him in the shin.

"Oops," she said. "My bad."

He stifled another groan. This one was more difficult to overcome. His hand went down to his throbbing leg.

"So, what did you do last night?" she asked politely, ignoring the glare he was shooting her and secretly smiling when he didn't answer right away.

She attempted to keep the heated thoughts from her mind as long as possible. Torturing him like this fueled her arousal, but they weren't _animals_. At least _she_ wasn't. She didn't think so. Though his influence was clearly lessening the more humane side of her and awakening the she-cat he never ceased to tell her had always been suppressed inside her begging to be released.

Still, she could keep them at the table until at least the food came. Whether they finished eating every morsel on their plates was another matter entirely.

"You know." He smirked, speaking smoothly like he hadn't just suffered two physical blows to his leg and foot.

"Ah yes, of course I do," she said knowingly. _What else did he do? Women, drugs…_

"You," he interrupted her thoughts.

_Oh._

She blinked, surprised. She knew they'd had sex the night before, but this thing between them was so new and Chuck Bass was certainly not one to commit. She was surprised he hadn't gone out to Victrola to get some ass or called some trashy girls in. It had been early evening when she'd last seen him.

Chuck didn't explain himself, hadn't bothered to ever since he told her he had butterflies. She gathered he was embarrassed, though obviously not embarrassed enough to stop pursuing her. And his eyes were subtly heated in dangerous jealousy whenever he saw her dancing with her Cotillion date during the ballroom dance practices. It was volatile.

But deep down she liked that too.

She sipped her water and cleared her throat.

"I have something for you," he said suddenly.

This piqued her interest, but it also confused her to no end.

"You already got me the most expensive thing on my birthday list. I think that's enough for now…" she trailed off, losing her breath as he presented a long velvet box before her. Gently, she opened it and then sat staring at the breathtaking diamond bracelet. She gasped.

"Chuck…"

He smiled at her from the other side of the table. The look of joy and surprise on her face more than satisfied just as he'd known it would. The feeling in his stomach intensified. The fluttering that he told himself when he wasn't with her was horrible and should be gotten rid of, he fully embraced now.

"Do you like it?" he asked softly.

She looked up at him, her eyes answering his question wordlessly.

"Are you kidding? It's gorgeous."

He continued to smile, though this time smugly for knowing her so well.

"Chuck, I can't take this. It's too much." She closed the velvet box and held it out to him.

He frowned, eyebrows furrowed, and refused to take the box.

"It's less than the necklace," he said, disappointed. "And besides, you love it. I saw your face just now. You were glowing."

Reluctantly, she looked up at him. His eyebrows were raised at her pathetic response

"Tell me I'm wrong and I'll take it back."

"You're wrong," she said. He opened his mouth to speak. "I was not _glowing_."

He shut his mouth and smirked.

"Just take the box," she huffed, setting the box down beside his plate since he wouldn't take it from her hand.

"Fine," he said, taking the box and slipping it back inside his jacket. "I'll just give it to you for Christmas."

Her eyes flitted up to his, a million questions racing through her head and no time to ask them, nor did she want to.

"What? That's a more fitting occasion, isn't it? You can't possibly deny me then, because it's a _giving_ holiday. And besides, I'd feel insulted."

Her gaze lowered to where he'd slipped in the box.

She could feel his smug smirk back on her face, daring her to look at him and cave to his demand. The worst part was she knew she was going to do it.

"Want it?" he taunted, pulling the box back out of his jacket.

She rolled her eyes and sighed but held out her wrist to him.

He smirked, but then his face grew serious as he delicately lifted the bracelet from the box and draped it around her wrist, locking the clasp into place. Then he brought her hand to her face and kissed her knuckles.

Shivers ripped through her.

The waiter arrived and she quickly pulled her hand away. Chuck's hurt expression vanished the instant her eyes told him that they needed to be discreet. It had camouflaged itself the moment she pulled her hand away but his eyes gave away his true emotions.

She didn't know why she cared so much.

He was Chuck Bass. He could take care of himself.

And it wasn't like they were _really_ together. They'd never be like that.

"Thank-you," she murmured after the waiter had left. Chuck nodded once just before they dug into their salads.

Blair raised her hand daintily to get the waiter's attention, and requested more water. She felt Chuck's eyes on her again, glanced at him and briefly glared. As she finished her request to the waiter though, she smiled, and his butterflies fluttered again.

….

Across the street in a newly purchased limo, having resumed his previous stalker tendencies, twenty-year-old Chuck Bass watched the sixteen-year-old version of himself and the seventeen-year-old version of Blair Waldorf eating brunch in the front restaurant window. He smiled softly as Blair opened the velvet box displaying the beautiful diamond bracelet he'd spent hours picking out. She wouldn't realize till later that it not only accompanied the Erickson Beamon necklace perfectly amongst several other pieces of her jewelry, but also the cashmere and silk ensemble her father would give her for Christmas in three weeks and two days. Right after she got his text threatening to tell dearest Nate about their dirty little secret.

He shook himself and wondered if Serena – his Serena – would be coming along any time soon. He had told her she didn't have to come, that he was going to go through with it whether she accompanied him or not; and while that might have been true or not, he'd feel a little braver if she was there by his side. He could even go for some annoying worrying and complaining on her part. It would actually him smile if he saw her roll her eyes.

But she wasn't there. Or, if she was, she certainly hadn't contacted him. In all fairness, he'd had to get a new phone and a new number. He'd tried to keep the number the same, but he'd had to change it. Someone else had it. Himself. His _younger_ self. Never since the age of thirteen had he had a different number. This time he couldn't very well pull him I'm Chuck Bass line, because he wasn't the only one and he didn't want Andrew Tyler tracking him down to find out his identity.

He had to be in control of this situation. Problem was he didn't have a plan in the world. He'd been in such a hurry to get here that he hadn't thought anything through. Which is why Serena needed to be there.

He sighed and came to the conclusion that she'd have to go through the whole phone transaction as well. The problem with their phones was not just that they didn't work through time travel, but that apparently they also didn't exist yet. Sure, the companies existed and earlier versions of the phones, but not these ones. _Apparently a lot happens in the course of four and a half years._

And that was the understatement of the century.

Seventeen-year-old Blair skipped out of the restaurant with sixteen-year-old Chuck following closely behind her. When they reached his limo Arthur was already there to open the door for them and shut it gently behind them. Four years later Chuck still remembered how irked he'd been by that because he knew Blair was a hopeless romantic and that part of him had been awoken the morning after he'd taken her virginity, or rather she'd _given_ it to him on a silver platter.

He'd want to open the door for Blair.

Of course the second she started kissing him wildly mere moments after the limo had pulled away from the curb he completely forgot how irritated he'd gotten. He had more important things to focus on.

Until later.

"Follow that limo," he told the driver through the barely opened window. It was best if people saw as little of him as possible, at least until he'd concocted some sort of plan. He couldn't just stalk to younger versions of himself and Blair and watch them fall apart. His heart clenched just remembering how she'd been torn away from him then. Watching Nate and Blair kiss their way into a lavish bedroom at Cotillion served to completely break his heart and make him bitter as hell.

The limo parked in front of the building housing the Waldorf's penthouse.

He leaned back in his seat and watched as Blair entered the building and then how his younger self followed five minutes after. They were being discreet. Because, after all, they were running around in secret.

"What now, Mr.—?"

"Just wait," he said, his mind half in a daze. Then, without thinking through the idea, he muttered the request to his driver again and walked into the building.

The lobby looked the same. A lot of things had happened in that lobby, but the freshest in his mind was the worst. He'd hurt her in this lobby. Bad. It was here that she confronted him about his involvement with Jack and the Empire. Looking back on it now, he couldn't believe he'd chosen the hotel over her. The reasons had been valid in his mind at the time, but now they were pathetic. Less than pathetic. Criminal.

He took the elevator to the floor beneath Blair's. Then he took the servant stairs up the remaining distance. His heart was beating fast. His hands were damp and his forehead was sweating. He nearly groaned out loud when he heard the playful laughter and kissing. When Blair moaned his name – _Chuck_, he thought he was going to lose it.

He shouldn't be here. He couldn't relive this moment. Nate wasn't here, and neither were Dorota or Eleanor, or Serena, but that didn't mean a damn thing. This was the beginning of it all.

This was where _Chuck and Blair_, _Blair and Chuck_ began. This was when he'd realized it.

Quietly, he inched his way down the hall and then peeked in through Blair's wide open bedroom door. Hands were all over place, as were lips, but it was smooth and sensual. It was breathtaking.

He stepped back, overwhelmed, and started back towards the servant's stairs.

He stepped too hard and too fast, nearly losing his balance. But he caught himself, and groaned.

Blair gasped and his eyes widened.

_Oh shit._

….

Dark outside, but lit up and glamorous inside, she entered the building and headed for the concierge, hoping to get a quick key to the room without any questions being asked, or very few if she could help it.

"Miss Van der Woodsen," the man behind the counter greeted her, happily smiling.

She forced a smile.

_Of course_. How could she have forgotten? Not only did everyone know who she was here because of her name, but because of the obvious.

She lived here.

….

A/N: Sorry this chap is so short. I just wanted to get the fic moving, so that's why I think the last 4 chaps were much longer. Heh. I think I have a pretty good idea where I'm going with this fic though, so the next chap should be a bit longer. ;p


	6. Jet Lag

A/N: I noticed that many of my readers seemed to have dropped this story, which no doubt has to do with the events of the last chapter. I'm very grateful for those of you who still believe in me and are reading and reviewing. I lost my inspiration for awhile, but I am getting it back slowly but surely. Please review. =)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.6—Jet Lag**

They shouldn't have come. _They shouldn't have come._ At the very least she shouldn't have allowed Chuck to act so rashly. She understood what he was going through, especially after witnessing first hand Blair's lack of true affection. But they had decided to plan out how exactly they were going to go about returning to past events and "fixing" them, as bizarre as it was that they were actually taking it into consideration.

Of course that was when Chuck hadn't had his heart ripped out and thrown into his face for the hundredth time since Blair had started seeing Dan. Regardless of the lack of interaction they had, Blair and Dan's faces plastered to each other in nearly every Gossip Girl blast did not leave Chuck, or herself for that matter, with very steady legs to stand on.

It was clear to her now that she shouldn't have given into his heartbreak, even if her sisterly compassion had kicked into high gear the second she registered the angry conversation taking place between her step-brother and "best friend" behind Chuck's bedroom door.

The ride up the elevator felt strange to her somehow. As obvious as it was, she felt like she was in a different dimension. They'd set off the balance of nature by going back into time, and something told her Chuck had already managed to get his hands dirty. And not in a good way.

She had to hurry.

To her great distress, on the 10th floor the elevator came to a halt and in walked none other than five years' past, Lily Van der Woodsen. It would be impossible to avoid her in the elevator shaft, especially since she was the only other one in there.

"Serena," she said, surprised.

She forced a tight smile.

"I thought you were planning on spending the night with Blair."

"She's—" she stopped herself. "I decided to come home early. I'm a little tired." It wasn't a complete lie. She was feeling the exhaustion already from the time travel, not to mention that she was hoping future Chuck was in his too close for comfort hotel suite.

Besides, it was better than what she had been about to say. Things would definitely change in the past if her mother knew about Blair's affair with Chuck before even her past self did. Talk about drama. And chaos.

Though, things would certainly get out into the open a lot quicker… The thought was intriguing but inevitably she decided she would talk to Chuck about it first. Things would go a lot smoother for them, and be a lot more successful – if they talked out their plans of execution before doing anything rash.

A lump formed in her throat. She hoped Chuck had not let his emotions play recklessly with his actions already – past actually going into the past that is.

The elevator bell sounded and she inwardly groaned. If she had to put up with yet another person noticing her presence before she'd gotten to Chuck, she would just about lose her mind. She'd told Chuck The Palace was too close. Had he listened? No. Had she known he wasn't going to? It was possible.

"Are you coming, dear?"

Her mother's voice made her turn her head. She was confused and knew it was clear as day on her face. They should have _practiced_, she scolded herself _and_ Chuck in her head. They should have practiced situations like this before they just blindly jumped into their past reality.

Thinking as quickly as was possible under the layers of stress, she glanced up at the number on the elevator. Fifteenth floor.

"I'm going to go see a friend first," she said, with another forced smile.

Lily looked puzzled.

"What friend do you have in this hotel?"

It wasn't supposed to sound insulting, but she did take some offense to it.

"Chuck," she said, as if it was obvious.

Lily laughed. "I thought you hated Charles."

_Right._

Again, Serena inwardly groaned. She had hated Chuck at this point in time. It'd taken them a long time to get to the place they were now.

"I won't be long," she said, accidentally-on-purpose hitting the button to close the elevator doors.

"Alright, dear," Lily said, sounding a trifle concerned.

Serena didn't blame her. She was concerned for herself. Unfortunately, the solace she found in the empty elevator didn't last long. Three floors to be precise. Next time she would take the express elevator. That way there would be no interruptions and she wouldn't feel like a deer caught in the headlights.

She should have taken an acting class.

It didn't take long to find the suite opposite past Chuck's. It certainly wasn't as difficult as trying to get the key for the suite had been. The only key she'd been able to acquire had been past Chuck's and apparently her own. Neither were 1813. She was counting on the fact that her Chuck was behind that door. Because if she remembered correctly, it had been Blair who had cancelled their sleepover two weeks before Cotillion because she had a major 'test' to study for. It was confirmed later that that test had nothing to do with any of their classes, but with Chuck's anatomy instead.

She knocked lightly on the door of 1813.

No answer.

She knocked again, this time a little harder.

Still, nothing.

She pressed the side of her face up against the door, listening for something. Anything.

Nothing.

She knocked harder.

"Chuck."

She tried to turn the knob. It was locked. Solid. She looked up and down the hall to make sure there were no maids or other guests that would determine she was trying to break into some unfortunate soul's suite.

"Chuck!" She knocked harder and louder, and prayed to God Chuck hadn't actually gone out for the evening.

"Open the damn door, Chuck!"

And right at that instant the doors of both 1812 and 1813 opened with very pissed off Chuck's looking directly at her. If she looked closely, in the darkness of the room she could make out a half-dressed Blair into 1812's suite.

"What?" sixteen year old Chuck growled. Luckily with her height, she blocked out the face of twenty year old Chuck who then slammed his door as she spun around. Younger Chuck's face relaxed into a smirk when he realized who was standing outside his door on the _wrong_ side of the hallway.

"Serena." He leaned his body against the doorjamb and took her in with a smarmy gaze.

She rolled her eyes. She did not miss these moments at all.

"Chuck," she managed, forcing herself not to shove him away into his room and then act all surprised to see Blair inside. _What a scandal that would cause._

"I live in _1812_," he emphasized, as if she was a small child.

Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I know that."

"And yet," he gestured to the room across the hall where she stood, "You are pounding on the door and screaming my name" – the smug grin on his face when he said that was intolerable – "for whatever bastard is staying in 1813."

"I was not _screaming_," was all she could manage.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, you obviously came for something, and of all the things I can come up with, I'm sure none of them are why you're actually here. So, what is it?"

She drew a blank. A total and complete blank. She stood there, her mouth agape as younger Chuck's brows rose to the top of his forehead.

What the hell could she say? She'd hated Chuck at this point in her life. He'd tried to rape her a few months prior, using that timeline, and she remembered being quite horrified by the fact that he'd taken her best friend's virginity.

"I'm just checking up on you," she said, making sure to work up her confidence in order to intimidate him. It obviously wasn't working, but it was all she could think of. 

"And why would you be doing that? You hate my guts. Unless…"

She held her breath hoping whatever he would say would give her some sort of lead to get her out of here, or at least to get him to shut his door with himself inside the suite.

"You've reconsidered my offer?" he smirked. "I still know of an excellent dessert that accompanies grilled cheese with truffles."

She felt a chill shoot up her spine. Despite the fact that this was sixteen-year-old, arrogant, perverted beyond all measure, womanizer Chuck, the thought of him reminiscing over their faltered sexual encounter, if it could even be called that, made her feel sick.

"No," she said, cursing herself for allowing the emotions she was feeling seep into her voice a little. She was incredibly tense, frozen stock still.

For a moment, she thought she saw regret and vulnerability flash across his face, but in an instant it was gone.

"You can't blame me for being curious." He shrugged.

_Yes, I can._

But she let it drop.

"I know what happened between you and Blair."

He started to smirk again.

"Twice."

His face paled briefly before he recovered quickly. Clearly, he had not expected her to know that he had…completed the transaction. It occurred to her that he thought she may have just witnessed them making out at Blair's seventeenth birthday party.

She was surprised Blair hadn't told him herself. But she realized then that this Blair wouldn't have done that. She was ashamed of her relationship with Chuck during their couple weeks affair during their junior year just before Cotillion. He was _Chuck Bass_. He didn't do commitment. He didn't do romance either. He didn't care what girls particularly thought about him post-sex. It was all about the get in-get out mentality, while maintaining the charm and sexual appeal of course.

The fact that Chuck was in fact committing, romancing and caring about what Blair thought obviously seemed too good to be true to the newly seventeen-year-old Blair. So why would she tell him that though the thought of her daddy coming to see her for their favorite holiday ever, he wasn't the only reason she was beyond giddy and completely blissful before Thanksgiving dinner. Chuck was.

She wouldn't.

Serena smiled softly despite herself. Her best friend was falling in love with Chuck for the first time before it was rudely interrupted by Nate and the manipulative scheming that came from Chuck's raging jealousy.

The first time he'd really been jealous, over a girl at least.

He was falling for Blair too.

"What's your problem?" he asked, disturbed by Serena's widening smile.

Serena shook her head, wiping the grin from her face.

"Nothing. I just came to yell at you. Blair's fragile. If you must be involved with her, treat her right. After what Nate and I did to her, she deserves that."

His jaw dropped.

"Now," she cleared her throat, "I actually did come to see who's in 1813, so if you'll excuse me?" She turned and knocked on the closed door behind her.

Chuck didn't wait for the other door to open. He just looked at the leggy blonde strangely for a few more moments before stepping back inside his suite and shutting the door behind him.

1813's door opened, and Serena slipped inside.

…

"Chuck, what the hell? Do you have any idea what I was going through out there? You see, this is exactly why I didn't want to leave until we had a formulated _plan_. For situations like this!"

"Have a drink." He set a cocktail on the bar top he now stood behind. She wondered if it was for safety reasons.

"Oh no, you're not going to get out of this lecture by making me drunk."

"Maybe not," he conceded, but I'd like to have you somewhat tipsy when I give you another reason to be pissed at me."

Her eyes widened.

"Chuck," she warned.

His eyes lifted to hers. "Sit. Drink." He gestured to the glass in front of him.

With a huge sigh, no doubt brought on from the pressure she'd been under in the hallway, she gave in and made her way to the bar, sliding onto the stool and swallowing her entire drink in one giant swallow. Daintily, she drew the cherry off its little stick by her teeth and chewed and swallowed.

"Spill."

He blinked, surprised by how fast she'd consumed the drink.

"Another?" he managed, hopeful but doubting that she'd give in to his extension of time.

"Maybe later," she said sweetly, propping her head in her hands as she leaned on the bar top with arms bent at the elbows.

He swallowed, carefully avoided her eyes.

"I…may or may not have gone spying on my and Blair's younger self this morning."

Her jaw dropped but she shut it quickly and shook herself of her outrage welling up again inside her. So, he went spying. So what? It was good to know where exactly in the past the younger Chuck and Blair were at in their relationship.

"Well, I hope you weren't obvious about it," she said flippantly. She needed to laugh. She really did.

"The windows were tinted."

She closed her eyes, placing her hand lightly over them.

"There's more isn't there?"

"I got closer," he said carefully.

She dropped her hand from her face.

"How close?" She didn't want to sound mad, but it was impossible to keep traces of it from her voice.

"_Chuck_. How _close_?" she demanded when he didn't say anything for far too long.

He lifted his eyes to her furious glare and then found his fingers suddenly the most interesting things to look at.

"Well, I followed them back to Blair's place, and…" he smiled a little, pleased with at least part of the reaction he was about to get, "watched them make out on her bed."

Serena was torn between total disgust and appalled at the dangerous waters he had dared to tread.

"Ugh. You're disgusting."

He smirked.

"Seriously." She shuddered, but then waved it off, remembering the more important issue. "But besides that, you shouldn't have been that close. Did anything happen while you were there?"

His smirk widened into a Cheshire cat smile.

She rolled her eyes.

"Besides that."

He pursed his lips and nodded. "I tripped in the hall and they heard it."

"_What?_" She jumped to her feet, her eyes wide with panic. "Did they see anything?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, starting to feel the heat of the panic he had earlier that afternoon.

"I don't know."

"You don't _know_?" she growled.

"I left right away. Through the servant's entrance. I don't think they got into the hallway to check what had made the noise before I'd left. But…like I said, it's not like I had a camera attached to the back of my head."

She buried her face in her hands, starting to whimper, her closed eyes filling with angry, furious tears.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, genuinely worried. He pulled out a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and poured some into a glass with ice. "It'll be alright."

She pulled her hands away, wiped at the corners of her eyes and fixated her gaze on the glass of water now set before her.

"You're right. It will be."

He relaxed.

"Because we're going home. Right now."

She spun around on the stool and started for the door.

His eyes widened panic and he rounded the bar, walking in long strides towards her until he was in front of her, his back plastered to the front door, preventing her from exiting.

She propped her hand on her hip.

"Get out of the way, Chuck."

"No."

"Chuck, move." She gestured to the space beside the door.

"No."

"Chuck!" she nearly screamed, exasperated. "We have absolutely no plan, and we've been caught twice by our younger selves—"

"Blair's and mine," he corrected.

"Whatever!" She huffed and ran a hand through her hair. "You know I ran into my mother in the elevator on my way up?"

"Lily?" he asked, happiness flooding inside him. He missed his stepmother a lot already. She'd been so caught up in the Ivy ordeal lately that she'd hardly had time for anything else.

Serena was oblivious to those emotions at the moment though.

"_Yes_. You see now why we have to leave?"

"No, I don't." He dropped his hand from where it had been clenched around the doorknob. "Serena, we may not get another chance like this."

"We've got like five other needle-pill things, Chuck. We have plenty of other opportunities."

"I know, but…" he sighed.

"Chuck, we have no plan, and we're not going to get one by being so close to yours and Blair's younger selves. We've been caught by too many people that know us. If we're not careful, we may be taken into a mental institution or to some research facility for our look-alike, act-alike tendencies."

"_Serena_."

"I'm serious!"

"You're exaggerating."

She huffed.

"I hope you at least registered your room under a fake name. The concierge recognized me, so he would only give me a key to _my_ suite here. Oh, and your younger self's if he would call room 1812 and if your younger self would confirm he was expecting me and approve giving me a key. Since, you know, we didn't _discuss_ what name you might go under before you flew off into the future." She gestured her arms about wildly.

He sighed. "I had my limo driver come in and register me; then I went in the side door."

"Clever," she muttered under her breath.

"I thought so."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest.

"So what name did you go under?"

He hesitated. "Charlie Trout."

She widened her eyes. "_What_?"

"What?" he asked defensively. "Dan hasn't written his book yet."

"He wrote the book on and off throughout the years, not just after he had the revelation that kissing Blair Waldorf inspired a novel." She scoffed.

He frowned and she sighed.

"Fine," she said, tired from arguing. She slipped out of her shoes. "We'll stay. But we're not leaving this room until we come up with a plan."

For a moment, he considered suggesting they move to a different hotel to get some distance, but if she wasn't going to press for it or even bring it up, then he wouldn't either. Come heaven, hell or high waters, he felt in his gut that being this close to their younger selves would be to their advantage.

….

"Was that Serena?" Blair asked, wary.

Chuck, still feeling uneasy from the whole transaction, finally began to walk away from the door.

"Yeah…" He returned to her on the bed. "It was."

"What'd she want?" she asked, worried.

And even though he knew she'd probably heard every word of the conversation, he told her anyways.

"That's weird," she said, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"I'm sure it's nothing," he said, taking a moment to appreciate the way his t-shirt fell around her lush figure.

"She basically just threatened you and gave you permission in the same breath."

He shrugged. "It was more of a warning if you ask me," he murmured as he lowered his lips to press kisses to the crook of her neck.

"Chuck, this is serious." She pushed at him, but he was relentless, licking at her skin now and blowing air across the moist spots. She shivered under the sweet torture. Her flattened hands pushing him away curled into curved fingers and nails digging into his shoulders, willing herself not to moan.

He smiled against her when the first moan left her lips. He kissed his way up her neck until he found her lips and kissed her hot and heavy. She pulled him to her and he climbed on top of her, groaning as her smooth calf started climbing up his leg and then wrapped around his waist, followed by her other one. She gripped him tightly with her thighs and moved up against him until he shuddered.

"We can talk later," she said after he'd stripped her of his shirt and started kissing his way between her breasts.

He smirked and tasted her again.

"No talking," he murmured, his voice gravelly low and filled with desire.

…

"This was smart," she commented.

"Room service?" he raised his eyebrows. "It usually is. Blair and I always got it when…" he stopped mid-sentence and Serena set down her fork.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. It seems almost everything I can apply Blair and I to from when we were together."

"Don't be sorry," Serena insisted. "You two were together for almost a year, and then some since and before then."

He shook his head. "It's not just that, Serena."

She looked up at him, waiting.

"I've been in love with Blair since I was sixteen. I'm always going to be in love with Blair. It won't matter if I end up with another girl because no one will compare. I will never love anyone else the way I love her, and if I marry someone else, that woman will always have to share my heart with Blair, because she's who I'm meant to be with."

She looked at him sadly.

"They say your high school sweetheart isn't usually the one you're meant to be with," she offered hesitantly.

"Blair's not with Nate," he said, and went back to his breakfast. Serena didn't comment further on the subject.

"So, what's step one of the plan?" she prompted, eager to get back to a plausible topic.

"I thought we figured that out last night," he said.

"Last night's a little fuzzy to me," she admitted.

Chuck looked across the room until he found the paper he was sure they had scribbled their plan onto. Unfortunately, all that was on the piece of paper was 'PLAN:' in big bold letters and the number 1 beneath it on the first line. He sighed.

"I don't think we got very far," he said.

"Must've been the alcohol," she said.

"I don't remember drinking much, and didn't you just have the one cocktail?"

"I must've had more. Maybe you passed out."

"Maybe you did."

She shook her head. "Whatever happened, I know we at least started to talk about what we were going to do. Didn't you have some idea after you got here, or before…for like the two weeks we were staying in the Hampton's?"

He hesitated.

"Please don't tell me your only plan consisted of getting Blair back, but not knowing how to do that."

"Of course not. I…well, I thought somehow I could get into contact with my younger self and stop him from doing…what I did that screwed everything up."

"And how do you propose to do that, Chuck? You can't just walk up to him and announce that you're his future self come to stop him from making an idiot out of himself and losing Blair more times than he could count."

He glared at her.

"Well?"

"I plan to use an out-of-area cell phone to contact him, along with a conspicuous-sounding e-mail."

She raised her eyebrows.

"So, what, as a sort of spirit-ghost?"

He shrugged. "More or less."

"Except that other people can see you too."

"Which is why I'll be doing this in secluded locations."

"This hotel room, for instance?" A smile slowly spread across her face.

"Don't mock me. I know it sounds rusty, but what have you got? Your appearance may not have changed much over the last four years, but you can't intervene in the life of younger Serena or soon everybody will be asking questions."

"Maybe I can," she mused.

"How's that?"

"The first thing that caused Dan and I to break up was that huge ordeal with Georgina, right?"

He nodded along. "Yeah. Your point?"

"If Dan finds out about it before Georgina comes back at the end of the year, she'll have no leverage against my younger self and the whole situation can be talked out before I become a lying addict."

"While your plan intrigues me, you've left out one very important point."

"What?"

"When Humphrey goes to your younger self for clarification on what happened, she won't be able to resist lying, because you, dear sister, were scared out of your wits to tell anyone. You even told Dumpty you'd been _cheating_ on him because you thought this was worse."

She frowned. "It was. It _is_."

"But it wasn't your fault."

She looked away. "I was there when it happened. I pushed him over the edge."

"Serena."

She turned to look at him.

"It wasn't your fault," he said again.

She offered a small smile in return and sighed.

"Okay, now that we've proved both our plans are hardly satisfactory, what do we do today? We at least need to figure that out."

"As far as I'm concerned, everything was running very smoothly between Blair and I until Nate decided he was interested again a few days before Cotillion. Since it's a little less than two weeks away, I think it's safe to say that all I've got to do to get my younger self established as a _controlled_ jealous boyfriend is get inside his head by getting inside Nate's."

"You're not thinking of getting Nate to find out about you and Blair before Cotillion, are you?" she asked, somewhat startled.

"It's not my first choice, but at least I won't lose Blair at Cotillion and there will be time to mend relationships – hopefully – before the break."

"Chuck, I don't like this…"

"It won't be through a Gossip Girl blast," he assured her. "All that needs to happen is for Nate to realize how perfect Blair and I are for each other, and when that happens maybe he'll share those thoughts with someone who might eventually share them with young Chuck who will feel it's safe to acknowledge himself as a boyfriend, and one to his best friend's ex."

"Those are huge maybes you're going on, Chuck," she said, liking the plan less and less with each additional explanation.

"We traveled through time to the past in order to get the loves of our lives back. I think that already means we're taking risks."

Serena bit her lip, considering that fact.

"There's really only one real danger in this," he said.

She looked up at him. "Getting caught?"

"No," he said, "living in the past." He grabbed her forearms and held on tight. "We can't, under any circumstances, start living the lives of our younger selves because it was better and easier then and we know how to fix our mistakes before they happen."

She wanted to say _'Of course not! That's ridiculous! Obviously a danger, which is why we wouldn't do it!'_ and then scoff. But she knew as well as he did that it was the biggest temptation of all.

"Okay," she said.

…

A/N: Kind of a filler chap, but it's set up now. CS have a vague idea of what they're going to do and what they'll try their best not to do. Because most of what they're going to do – so they don't get caught – is pretty under the radar, the next several chapters will be mostly in S1 CB's pov (and the rest of the characters from that season). S5 CS will still show up, but since nothing major happened until Cotillion, it'll be small bits of their scenes together instead of almost whole chapters. Hope you still enjoy and keep reading. Please review. =)


	7. Poker Face

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.7—Poker Face**

She'd called a cab an hour after they made love following Serena's strange visit to Chuck's hotel suite. Scratch that. She called a cab an hour after they _had sex_. Had sex, not made love, _had sex_. There was a difference, and she had to remember it.

Chuck had protested she take his limo when she leave, or at the very least that he call a town car to take her home, but even when she consented to that she found the cab she had called for when she got outside the hotel and took that home instead.

She didn't know what was wrong with her. Everything was going great with Chuck, as far as flings went. She didn't know where this sudden need to distance herself from him had come from. Something about Serena going out of her way to come to see Chuck just to tell him that she knew what had happened between them and had not only accepted it but was berating him like an older brother – _weak_ older brother who happened to decide that Chuck Bass, hit it and quit it King of the Upper East Side who had popped his sister's cherry and was now continuing to sleep with her, was totally fine with it – would do concerned her to no end.

Did Serena know something she didn't? Surely she must've known she was there? He'd only been in his boxers and a loosely tied robe when he came to the door. If she'd assumed her best friend wasn't there, she'd be screaming her head off at how much of a lying, cheating bastard he was.

Or maybe that was just what _she'd_ be doing.

Maybe she expected to have done it already.

Maybe she was wondering why it hadn't happened.

_For God's sakes, Waldorf, get a hold of yourself! He's not going to cheat!_

Laughter has a way of sounding very nasty in one's head.

Maybe she should just break it off now while she was ahead. The last thing she wanted was to have her fears confirmed that this was all just a big game to him and the only thing keeping him from humiliating her publicly when he finally got bored would be the fact that Nate might be watching and connect the dots.

That was the leverage she held over him. Though it was the same leverage he held over her, so the only choice was to end things quietly – which she'd tried to do and had miserably failed at, or keep going strong as long as was possible.

She didn't want to be alone. And as out of character as it was from the last person she could have possibly imagined it coming from, Chuck Bass cherished her like no one had in years. He flattered her, comforted her, shared her wit, her charm. There were times when she wanted to go out with him on a real date, just to show the world how she'd managed to tame the great Chuck Bass just by giving a simple strip-tease at his burlesque club, Victrola.

He was just a phase though. A rebound, albeit a secret one. She just needed to get her confidence back, remember she was a prize, a jewel, one that every guy would want, maybe even more than Serena. _Ha_. She needed to feel the way she did around Chuck without being around Chuck. As soon as that happened, she could dump him quietly and hopefully he'd be close enough to boredom to not send a tip to Gossip Girl about their scandalous activities.

She felt an empty aching hole inside of her growing larger and larger until it consumed her hole just at the mere thought of Chuck growing sick of her. It was inevitable, but it hurt so much that she knew she was in trouble.

No matter what she told herself and what she told Chuck, this was no fickle, friends-with-benefits affair.

She wouldn't let herself admit what it really was.

But whatever that thing was, it was the one thing that wouldn't let her break it off with him.

"Miss Blair, it time to go in five minute!" she heard Dorota call from down the hall.

She looked down at the three skirts she'd been trying to decide between and decided to go with the pleated tan one with the plaid green belt. She'd slipped on the see-through silk tights that drove Chuck crazy first thing when she'd woken up. Then she'd slipped the shiny white headband in her hair and did her brown locks up into a lazy bun ponytail that would have Chuck staring at the back of her neck all day.

She liked to tempt him.

But now she had to focus her thoughts and intent on Miss Serena Van der Woodsen. Something was up with her. Last night couldn't have been a coincidence. Maybe something else was going on with her or maybe she'd been drunk. Maybe she'd ended up going to Lonely Boy's and he'd broken her heart. _Unlikely._

Whatever the case, it was imperative that they have a girl talk asap. Preferably before 1st period. Lunch would be difficult because she had her minions to maintain, and Penelope was so annoying with the behind-her-back talk she tended to head up about being the new Mrs. Archibald-to-be. And with the last three periods of the day together, it would be a shame if she was on edge during their time together. It definitely couldn't wait till after school.

"Miss Blair, Miss Serena for you!" Dorota called from downstairs.

Blair's eyes widened.

_Speak of the devil, and she doth appear._

_Funny how that used to __**refer to Chuck.**_

"Serena," she smiled brightly, that fake smile she put on that convinced everyone that didn't know her well that everything was fine and she'd never been better.

Serena and Dorota shared a look, but then the maid muttered an excuse and left for the kitchen.

"Blair…" she began cautiously.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

Serena gave her a look and Blair amended the question with grace and apologetic angel eyes.

"I meant, it's such a long distance to go. You might as well have just jumped into Chuck's limo and we could've met at school. Since you two live in the same building and all."

Serena's brows furrowed.

"Is something going on, Blair?"

She blinked, waiting but it seemed her best friend was playing the same game. To save time, and her own patience, Blair caved first.

"Fine. Why did you go to Chuck's suite last night?"

"_What_?"

Blair's eyes widened at how high-pitched her best friend's voice had gone.

"Shh!"

"Blair, why would I go—and how would you—" She cut herself off, comprehension dawning. "Were you with _Chuck_ last night? I thought it was only the two times," she ground out.

Blair was beyond confused. "You were there!" Her eyes were wide and searching, trying to find where Serena should've been faltering, but genuine confusion and truth were the only things she saw on her best friend's face.

"I wasn't there, Blair," she said softly, shaking her head. "After you bailed on our sleepover, not for a test I'm guessing," – she rolled her eyes – "I went to see Dan and then came home – directly home – and went to bed. I tried calling you this morning to tell you I was coming over, but you never picked up. I figured you wouldn't mind…"

Blair shook her head, frustrated to the point of screaming that nothing was aligning and making sense.

"But you were _there_," she insisted. "I heard you at his door!"

"Okay…" Serena turned her around and guided her to the elevator, sending a glance at Dorota who quickly gathered Blair's things and handed them over.

"Have good day, Miss Blair," Dorota quickly said just as the elevator doors were closing.

"I think you better start from the beginning," Serena said once the elevator started descending.

Blair sighed loudly.

"You weren't supposed to know," she muttered.

Serena's eyes widened and she looked away briefly.

"Well, I know now, so why don't you fill me in on the details? There better be a seriously good reason for this, because the Blair I know wouldn't trust Chuck with her life, let alone her heart."

"I'm not emotionally involved," she snapped.

"No? Then what are you doing with him exactly?" she asked, not realizing until afterwards the implications in her question.

"It's purely physical," she responded casually.

Serena wrinkled her nose. "Gross."

Blair rolled her eyes. "You wanted to know," she muttered.

"Alright. Fine. It's also supposed to be a secret, I gather?"

"Of course. I can't have anyone knowing about this. My reputation as Queen would be ruined, not to mention Chuck would lose Nate, and I'd lose any chance of being an Archibald again…"

"Is that something you still want?" she asked curiously.

She shrugged. "I will eventually. I'm just mad at him. I can't forgive him right now and I need a break from all the drama. Chuck just…he's a good distraction."

Serena wrinkled up her nose again.

She spun towards her suddenly. "Swear you won't tell anyone."

"I swear," she said, as if it should've been obvious.

Blair relaxed and smiled. "Good. So, now that my secret's out, you can tell me yours."

"What are you talking about?"

Blair rolled her eyes knowingly.

"Tell me what you were doing at Chuck's last night. I mean, if you're just finding out about Chuck and I…then why did you give him the 'I'll come after you if you hurt her' warning last night?" She raised her eyebrows, amused now.

"B, I don't know who you think showed up at Chuck's place…while you were there," – she managed to stifle a grimace – "but it wasn't me. I told you. I went to Dan's and then I went straight home, to my suite. I didn't make a detour – or take the long way – to Chuck's."

The elevator doors opened and Serena stepped out. Blair faltered for a moment, frowning. After all that she'd confided, she couldn't imagine what reason Serena would still have for lying to her.

….

She caught his gaze across the courtyard for a fraction of a second before he turned and continued talking to Nate. She flushed, hoping none of the minions in her little circle wouldn't notice. She dug into her yogurt again and finally registered she was eating the substance far too quickly when she felt Serena's stare on her. And then all the girls around her.

"What?" she snapped. "We have a test next period! I'm nervous," she muttered.

Her minions accepted the excuse and continued on with their mindless chatter. But Serena continued to stare at her best friend in complete confusion. Then in concern. When her features shifted to amusement, Blair blushed again, the rosy color filling her cheeks.

Serena turned around to see who or what exactly her best friend was staring at. What she saw was none other than Chuck Bass talking to his best friend and occasionally glancing over at Blair.

She cracked a wide smile and slowly shook her head at her best friend, who was still recovering from the blush that had consumed her face again.

"Oh my god…"

Blair looked across the courtyard and caught the look on Chuck's face. _Had something happened? Was there a Gossip Girl blast? Oh god. Maybe he'd seen her blush. _The very possibility was humiliating, especially since her face was probably still recovering. Maybe she was paling now. Serena looking amused at her predicament was one thing. Chuck realizing she'd just embarrassed herself was something else entirely.

She couldn't face him. Not for awhile at least. Not right now like she wanted to.

"You really like him," Serena remarked, looked at her dazed.

Blair scoffed and shook her head, about to dig into her yogurt again when she realized it was empty.

"That's ridiculous."

Serena shook her head, unable to stop her smile from spreading wider.

"It's disgusting," she told her, "and maybe that justifies it being ridiculous. It is not _however_ false."

Blair met her eyes.

"He is _incapable_ of feelings," she whispered harshly, so her minions wouldn't hear. "And I _just_ broke up with Nate."

Serena looked at her skeptically. It wasn't that her best friend wasn't saying anything she herself didn't believe. It was that the way she said it, to anyone who knew her well, and Serena did, it sounded like she was making excuses for something she didn't want to be true.

It was amusing to see Blair like this: in pure denial. It would get annoying when she wouldn't admit to it several days or maybe even weeks later, but right now it was hard to hold back from laughing.

"It's embarrassing enough that I'm even involved within him to begin with."

Serena pushed her lips tightly together, trying to lessen her smile. It was hardly successful, but at least she won the victory of keeping her mouth shut. She couldn't taunt Blair with the information she'd learned this morning with so many people around, especially the minions that addicted themselves to gossiping, no matter how devoted they might be to their Queen Bee.

Blair looked up to see if she could catch Chuck's gaze again, maybe look more composed this time, but he was gone. She frowned. Nate was just getting up and she caught his gaze for a second, but quickly looked away. She felt empty and hollow and like she was going to throw up just from that one glance. Nate made her feel sick. The last thing she wanted to say or even think about had to do with Nate.

"B?"

The concern in Serena's voice told Blair the sick feeling she felt was obvious on her face.

_I must've paled. _

"I'm fine," she said, putting on a brave face. "I just…I have to go…do something quick before class."

Serena rose to her feet with her best friend, still concerned.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No," Blair said quickly, closing her eyes briefly when she realized how rough her voice had sounded. "I'll be fine. I just have to go to the bathroom."

Serena's eyes widened.

"Not for that," she said hastily.

Serena looked relieved. "Okay," she said. "See you in class." She squeezed her arm gently.

Blair offered a small smile and moved past her toward one of the school buildings. To her great relief, Nate had left and gone in the opposite direction she was going.

When she got inside, she stopped and breathed in and out long, steady breaths until she felt her legs stop shaking. This was ridiculous, she told herself. One second she was trying to hide the obvious fact that she was crushing hard on Chuck Bass and the next second she was reliving her whole break-up with Nate after one brief glance from him. Everything he'd done to hurt her, whether intentionally or not, came rushing back.

She remembered the night he'd told her slept with Serena. And then the picture at her birthday party where instead of showing up at her birthday party with 'something special' like he'd said on the phone earlier that day, it showed him hugging another girl. A blonde.

It was then that she realized she would never measure up to what he wanted. And maybe Serena had been drunk the night of the Sheppard's wedding, but it was _Nate_ who had been unfaithful. And it was _Nate_ who continued to show little to no signs of actually wanting her in his life.

_He_ was the problem. Not her.

So why, throughout the whole ordeal, did she feel like it was all her fault? That maybe if she was just a little bit different, he wouldn't have wanted to be with anyone else.

Finally, she pushed herself up off the wall and started walking down the hall. She wouldn't let this set in of depression coerce her into doing what she'd been so good at resisting for almost a year.

She would walk straight past the bathroom to her locker, grab her books for class and sit in the empty classroom for the remaining time until the lunch bell rang. Despite her many hours of studying a few nights ago, she'd been engaged in…_other_ _activities_ the night before. It would be good to brush up on the basics.

Just as she was about to walk down another long corridor and turn the corner to get to her locker, an arm came around her waist and pulled her into a dark corner in the opposite direction. She was spun around and pushed into the tight crevice and a pair of thick, full lips implanted themselves on her lips.

She moaned and pushed whoever it was away.

He did not go far.

"_Chuck_," she scolded when she realized it was him who had taken her by surprise. Truth be told though, she'd known.

At first he looked shocked by her rejection, but then his expression slid into the amused, heated stare he'd given her in the courtyard.

She blushed again.

"Red isn't becoming on you, darling, don't you know?" he teased, leaning in to kiss her again.

She pushed him away again, managing to keep her irritated muffled shriek at a lesser level this time.

"_What_?" he asked, now looking angry as he released her and stepped away.

She narrowed her eyes angrily, but finally slipped out with the excuse she'd told herself was the best one throughout their entire affair.

"Someone could _see_," she hissed. They'd never gone at it in plain view. It had always been off of school grounds, away from any prying eyes or accidental phone flashes.

He took a step back and looked up and down all adjacent halls. He looked at every curve in the walls and ceilings and could not find a single security camera or person in the vicinity. Blair followed suit when she saw what he was doing. When she'd finished her inspection satisfied she turned back to him. He wasn't smirking at her now. He was just waiting to see what she'd do next.

With a muffled groan, she pulled him to her and dragged them back into the dark corner, nearly tripping over herself in the process.

He devoured her lips hungrily with his own, pushing his tongue past her close-mouthed barrier almost instantly when her fingers ran through his hair and her nails dug into his scalp. He ran a hand under her jacket up her back and gripped her thigh when she started running her leg up the back of his calf.

It was hot and heavy and he could hardly breathe, but they didn't have time for even a quickie now.

He would have to eat her up later.

She breathless when he finally pulled away. He was staring at her pure adulterated lust. It overwhelmed her. It made her feel gloriously sexy and wanted. She knew Chuck Bass was addicted to sex and that was probably all this was to him, but at times like this when she _needed_ to believe she was attractive to _some_ man _somewhere_, she dismissed that factor.

She kissed him again, fiercely, moaning into him and absolutely loving how firmly his grip around her waist was. She felt chills rip through her when his hand inched lower to her hips and then one of his hands to her ass.

She squealed into his mouth and he smirked against her.

"Don't get too excited, precious. We don't have much time," he whispered hotly.

She groaned. "_Chuck_."

He pushed her against the wall and started nipping at her neck and kissing his way down it.

She shivered.

And then the bell rang.

Blair gasped and quickly pushed him away. She wiped down her neck, drying the wet spots where his tongue had been.

Chuck watched her for a moment, righting his uniform and waiting for her to pamper herself what little she could before dashing to the bathroom to inspect herself in the mirror. She stopped at the bathroom door and looked back at him. He winked before turning away to his own class and she felt those chills again. She touched her neck delicately and relished in what he'd been doing there. She couldn't remember feeling this happy with anyone ever before. Surely she was exaggerating, she told herself. If things felt too good to be true they probably were.

But damn the statistics. Right now she felt bubbly and she did not plan on wasting that emotion.

….

Her determined yet casual gaze ahead of her as she walked the short way home changed into a silly grin she couldn't hide for the life of her when she felt the limo pull up beside her. It was still moving, but it was clear that it had slowed for a reason, and that reason was her.

The backseat window lowered and though she tried to keep her face directed straight ahead, she could feel the heat on the side of her face once the sound of the window lowering stopped. She forced herself to keep walking, but she turned her head to look at him.

He was smirking.

_Smirking_.

And she loved it.

"Bass," she addressed innocently.

"Waldorf," he drawled.

She felt this inexplicable urge to giggle, but she told herself those kind of bubbly emotions had to wait until later. As full of them as she had been just as lunch had ended, it had been quite obvious that during a huge test, looking anything but serious looked conspicuous.

So, she'd had to bottle it all up again. And now here was the source of her happiness, staring her down with appreciation and obvious lust, even if it was held at bay by barely an inch.

"How'd that test go?" he asked.

"Fine." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"How do you think you did?"

"I'm sure I got all the answers correct," she said confidently.

He smiled in admiration.

"The extra credit too?" he teased.

She glanced at him. "Of course," she said, as if any other answer would've been ludicrous.

"You weren't…_distracted_?"

She nearly tripped over herself, and he laughed.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I was not distracted," she denied, but it was clear by the slight shakiness in her voice that she very much had been.

"I suppose I can't blame you," he continued as if he hadn't heard her. "I am _incredibly_ attractive, and I did cut you off much sooner than I should have…"

She scoffed. "As I recall, I was the one that pushed _you_ away. Not the other way around."

He pursed his lips in an erupting smile until finally they parted and he cracked a grin.

"You were also the one that kept coming back for more. I wouldn't be surprised if there are scratch marks on my head somewhere. You're just lucky I have my hair to cover it up."

She shook her head at him, unable to stop smiling. Finally, she turned to him and stood her ground. As if she and the limo were completely in tune with one another, the limo stopped too.

"I would have a hickie right now if the bell hadn't rung when it did."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" he remarked cockily.

"We're supposed to be _discreet_," she said.

"Says the girl that attacked me in the middle of the hallway."

She laughed. "_You_ attacked _me_!"

"I took you by surprise," he brushed off.

It was impossible to remove the smile on her face.

"If it hadn't been for me someone could've walked in on us," she informed him, trying her best to be serious.

"Front row seats." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Her impulse to slap him was so strong she found herself irritated by the fact that he was safe behind closed doors. He knew her train of thought as soon as she did, because involuntarily he pulled his face away from the window.

"Basshole."

She stomped right over to the stopped limo and pulled the door open forcefully, pushing Chuck farther in so she could get inside.

He didn't move far though and then she was just straddling him, feeling his prodding erection beneath his pants.

She lifted her hand to slap him, but he caught her wrist.

"You smug Bass-tard."

She tried to wriggle her hand free but it was impossible.

"Caught ya," he teased, holding tight to her wrist.

Instead of fighting further Blair wrapped her other hand around the back of his head, twisting her fingers in his hair and kissing him.

He dropped her wrist instantly and wrapped his hands around her hips, pulling her closer.

He kissed her like she was the air he breathed, and the food he'd been without for a very long time. Like she was the water that the whole world craved and he was the only who had access.

Her knees snugly held to his hips and her breasts pressed up against his chest. She moaned into his mouth.

"I believe you said you cut me off earlier," she whispered breathily against him.

He chuckled lightly, but the sound was drowning in desire.

"I'd be more than happy to make up the difference now," he murmured.

She smiled against him and kissed him once more.

"It's the least you can do, since going off my excitement, I probably got a B on my biology test."

He smirked, then sunk his fingers into her hair. She moaned into him and he found himself growling, albeit quietly.

Shivers shot up her spine because such animalistic sounds coming from him gave her the feeling of absolute power. As if she could control anything because she got Chuck Bass needy and desperate beneath her touch.

"It would be my honor," he murmured.

And then he moved her under him so she was lying flat on her back on the leather seat and he was hovering over her. He leaned down and kissed her again and she sighed happily.

The butterflies that she'd ordered him to murder fluttered rapidly inside him.

He couldn't help it.

God help him if what brought him the most satisfaction these days was putting a smile on Blair Waldorf's face.

…

Later, when their skin was still cooling on the leather seats and Blair was still asleep, Chuck heard the two-second ringtone coming from his phone on the floor. Trying very hard not to move, he reached for it and maneuvered his hand around the phone until he got to the text message.

He went cold when he saw it.

**I know your secret.**

**-xoxo Gossip Girl**

….

A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. I'm in the midst of so many fics, and other craziness with school and vidding. Please forgive and please review. I really loved this fluff of a chapter. Hehe. So fun! ;P


	8. Look Away Once

A/N: I know it's taken a long time. Shh! Lol And also, please review. XD Your comments so far have been much appreciated. =)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

**DEDICATION: scarlett2u** – apparently Blair flailing around on the ladder at the Hampton's house in chapter 4 was amazing? Thanks for reminding me, dear. ;)

…

**Ch.8—Look Away Once**

"You _posed_ as _Gossip Girl_?" Serena asked, outraged.

Chuck glared.

"It was a _good idea_."

She laughed nervously and started to pace across the room.

Her muttered cursing did not go unnoticed by him. Finally, he stood up and crossed the room, causing her to nearly collide with him halfway to the bar.

"You'll thank me when this is over," he said, pouring scotch into a glass.

Serena froze on the near collision and now turned to him once she heard the splash of alcohol into her step-brother's glass.

"Thank-you?" she asked, flabbergasted. It was clear she was on the verge of shattering into a million pieces.

Chuck calmly took a sip of his scotch and looked at her evenly.

Serena muffled a shriek of impatience and stalked over to him, sitting roughly on the stool in front of the bar.

"Tell me one good thing that will come of this," she demanded.

"Well…my younger self now thinks he's been caught and he will be forced to choose between his feelings for Blair and for Nate."

Serena mocked him with a harsh laugh.

"And who exactly did you choose last time?" she asked bitterly, silently reminding him of the throw-down in front of the school and what followed.

Chuck's eyes narrowed.

"That was different."

"_How_?" she burst out.

"_Settle down_," he demanded, aggravated, as he brought out a bottle of vodka and poured some into a glass, shoving it in front of her. Desperate for some sort of logical solution to their current predicament, Serena brought the glass to her lips and nearly swallowed the drink whole. She slammed the glass back down on the far and he flinched.

"Last time Blair had gone back running to Nate and proceeded to torture me with the fact that she and I had meant nothing and Nate was her end all."

"And the difference this time?" 

"Nate hasn't realized that losing Blair is the worst thing that could've happened to him yet. He didn't decide to fight for her again till just before Cotillion."

Serena gathered all her frayed nerves back together and forced herself to breath.

"Okay, I see you're logic," she heard herself say, "but the only immediate result I can see from you texting your younger self that Gossip Girl knows your secret is that younger Chuck and Blair will cease to exist as a secret affair."

Chuck's brows narrowed. "No one is going to find out. If anything, he'll strive to keep this relationship in tact even harder."

"Exactly," she said, staring at him in the hopes that he'd connect the dots like he was normally so prone to do.

He only frowned. She sighed.

"Younger you is going to be paranoid now." If she was not mistaken, he paled. "Before, from what I've heard between you and Blair, the only thing you were worried about up until the blast came out was losing Blair, not everything. Until Jenny told Nate it was you Gossip Girl had included in her blast, the whole thing was completely anonymous, so you wouldn't get hurt."

"_I remember_," he said gruffly, though it was clear that up until that moment he'd forgotten.

Serena's frustration dissolved at the sad look on her step-brother's face. She slid off the stool and walked around the bar to him. She touched his arm to snap him out of the semi-trance he'd fallen into, his eyes glued to a single drop of vodka on the countertop.

"Hey," she soothed. Finally, he turned his head to her, searching for an answer in her deep blue depths. "Maybe you should take a break from this. We could go out the back door…drive to another city…spend a night out on the town in good 'ol 2007?"

Chuck laughed on a sigh and pulled out of her grasp, walking around the bar to collapse on the couch in the middle of the room.

"If only," he murmured.

Serena frowned and followed him, hovering just behind the couch where he sat.

"This isn't something we can just put on pause, Serena. Life will keep moving and if something happens-"

She circled around and sat beside him on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her.

"Then, we'll fix it."

He turned to look at her, clearly in disbelief that she'd even suggested it. Then he turned away and shook his head.

"Chuck." She sighed and sunk back into the cushions, still facing him. "This is never going to work if you plan out all your moves based on whatever driving emotion you feel at the time."

"I'm _not_."

"You have to step out of the box, look at the big picture…all those crazy clichés," she said, ending on a sad laugh.

His eyes lifted to hers.

"I _am_."

She tilted her head to the side, clear doubt on her face. He continued to stare at her, irritated that she didn't believe him but fearful too that she might be right.

"Then why did you forget everything I just told you?"

He looked away.

She put her hand over his and squeezed gently.

"You're so stuck in the mentality of yourself pre-Cotillion that you can't see the aftermath of what actually happened."

He was silent for so long she began to get worried, but finally she felt his thumb closing over hers and he turned to her with the most heartbroken look she'd ever seen. Her lips parted as her own heart started to break. Now she knew how Blair felt years before. She'd been feeling this way for awhile.

Desperately wanting to fix the unfixable.

"Cotillion was the first time I really broke in my life, over anything. I buried the hurt in alcohol and drugs and women, and eventually revenge and blackmail, to cover the insecurity, but…" he sighed, "None of it worked." He looked up at her. "If I can prevent that first break-up from happening…who knows what could happen? Maybe everything would have turned out differently."

He sounded so hopeful she didn't want to bring up the potential downsides to his plan, even if she understood the motivation that drove it.

He let his head sink back into the cushions.

"I just want Blair to love me again," he murmured.

Serena's eyes widened in hopelessness. The inability to fix Chuck Bass was overwhelming. She didn't know how Blair did it for so long. She must have had incredible strength and…loved him so, so much.

"She still loves you, Chuck," she said softly.

He turned his face away.

"You know, I think you're right," he said, turning back to her and suddenly standing to his feet. He held out his hand to her. "Let's go out tonight. We'll fix whatever happens when we get back tomorrow."

She smiled tremulously, worried as to his sudden switch in mood, but took his hand and let him help her to her feet. At times like this she wished she had Blair's talent of knowing Chuck so well. She would have given her soul to know what he was thinking and feeling and what his plans were.

"Where are we going?" she asked instead.

He only smiled at her and then curved his arm for her to loop hers through. She looked at it questionably, but finally succumbed. If Chuck Bass needed to get away for the night, as she'd suggested, she wouldn't get in the way of how he did it.

…

He was sweating, his phone starting to slip from his fingers. He felt cold and hot. Chills rippled throughout his entire being. That simple text alone threatened to tear his entire world apart, because Blair had become his world and he couldn't control it. No matter how hard he wanted to, and how at times he would beat himself up for becoming for all intents and purposes what could be justified as whipped – something he'd cringe at under normal circumstances – now the threat of losing Blair was so much worse.

It would only be a matter of time before Gossip Girl blasted her secret, and then it would be all over. He'd lose Nate and Blair. Blair would lose everything. Because the likes of Blair Waldorf wouldn't catch herself dead hanging around Chuck Bass in a sexual manner.

That boiled the blood in his veins. It brought the fantasy to a crashing halt and reality back to the forefront.

He wasn't good enough for her. He never would be. He should just give her up now when they still had a chance to explain themselves to those around them, prove that the blast was false somehow, and go back to the lives they had lived before.

Before them. Before he'd known true happiness.

The pain lacing through him threatened to eat him alive. It was a vile disease. This horrid punishment that now hung over his head… He hadn't had a single guilty thought about this newfound development in his relationship with Blair since the moment he kissed her in the back of his limo.

But now the carefully intact plan he'd placed together with seeming ease was unraveling before his very eyes.

And just from one text.

_I know your secret._

A sweet feminine moan broke the dark cloud that consumed him as he stared at his phone, barely able to hold it still in his grasp.

"Hey," she said softly, the feather-like touch of her fingers grazing the side of his face.

Finally, he set his phone down and turned to look at her. The angelic, innocent smile on her face put him at ease. The tension drifted out of him and he sat up and moved towards her, cuddling her in his arms. She rubbed her against his, nuzzling him and then nestled her head in the crook of his neck.

He wanted to scream, because this was so perfect and he couldn't bear to lose it. She was so perfect, and she was all his. She was supposed to be. How had the one person able to destroy what they had so flawlessly found out? Who in the world had known about them to begin with?

His first thought was Serena but he doubted the blonde would go to such levels out of mere disgust for him and concern for her best friend. She'd made her position well known when she'd shown up at his suite the night before. He didn't think any of her declarations and/or threats could be attributed to this kind of betrayal though. She'd almost been stuttering when she delivered them to him.

"I told Serena I didn't sleep with you because of your natural musk," she murmured.

Despite himself, he smirked.

"Why did you sleep with me then?" he asked smugly, ready for her post-coital quite pathetic denial.

She sighed contently, snuggling closer.

"As far as she knows, it's because I wanted to get revenge on Nate for how he had been treating me, needing release and all that, you know." She yawned. "Sleeping with the best friend is the best way to go, don't you think?"

He froze, every brain cell in his head completely gone, vanished. Panic took over him, and with that, insecurity. If she really thought these things, and then if she saw the Gossip Girl text he'd been sent… she'd have no trouble ending things between them. She'd blame him for everything for sure.

He gulped.

"So, why _did_ you sleep with me?" he dared, trying his very best to keep the arrogance in his voice, as if he knew what she was going to say when for once he truly didn't and feared the worst.

She pulled back and looked at him, her eyes serious.

"I don't know," she said, searching his face for the answer she couldn't find in herself. "I think it's because you made me feel wanted." She smiled softly. "You made me feel…" She drew her finger down his chest to his stomach, watching how he clenched deliciously at the feel of her on him, almost lowering to where he was always ready for her. "Alive," she finished, her sultry eyes lifting back to his.

He hadn't the slightest what to do with himself, so he kissed her. Hard and fast and hot; and he abandoned his phone on the floor, kicking it as far away as was possible. Because she couldn't see it. He couldn't lose this. It was too damn precious to him. He didn't know when or how really he let Blair take over his life like this, but he couldn't undo the damage and he didn't want to.

He didn't want to think about the future, because that meant maybe reconsidering his reputation as notorious womanizer of the Upper East Side, certainly not one who would commit to any woman.

But in the present all he wanted was Blair. He was drunk on her. She filled his every thought, every fantasy. There was never a moment she wasn't on his mind. When he was with her, he felt happier than he had ever been. The desire to be with her was ever present. Sex never got old with her, only more exciting, especially because he was the one to teach her everything. Whenever she started to look or act insecure he was able to be there for her and cheer her up, make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

On occasion he would mentally smack himself in the face for being so affectionate and attentive towards her. He certainly did not want to become clingy, god forbid. That he would _never_ be able to live down.

Increasingly though, she was becoming more upbeat and positive, carefree and light the more time they spent together. She was bitchy, but because of pride, not scorn. And he knew he was the cause. It had only been a few weeks and he was striving to resist thinking too far in the future, but if the future was one without her in it, without moments like these and her looking at him the way she did now, he wanted to make the present last for as long as possible.

…

They didn't have sex again in the limo. They just made out again – for a _long_ time. Then he dropped her off at home, making sure to keep his phone glued to his side during the whole transaction and giving her a kiss she'd never forget just before she exited his limo two blocks away so she wouldn't be seen with him.

Then he made a point of hanging out with Nate. He had to be on good terms with his best friend if Gossip Girl ever let the news out of what exactly he and Blair had been up to.

His mind had been _Blair-Blair-Blair_ 24/7 since the night at Victrola, but Nate was going through hell with all things regarding the Captain, and if he came through somehow in that sector, maybe he'd forgive him eventually when he discovered his best friend had been carrying on a secret affair with his ex, beginning twenty minutes after they'd broken up from an at least five-year relationship.

So what if his way of 'helping Nate out' was getting high in his suite?

He was Chuck Bass not Mother Teresa.

"So, how are things on the parental front?" Chuck asked, dragging out every word with a thick, smug grin on his face. He'd meant it to come off as a smirk, but things were starting to get fuzzy.

"Horrible." Nate pouted, sucking in more of the drug than was probably healthy – as if this could be considered a healthy activity by any means. "I think my dad's going to jail."

"Jail?" Chuck asked, as if he'd never heard the word before.

"I think so." Nate sighed loudly.

Chuck began to worry slightly. Despite the fact that his 'high state' was coming to him quicker than normal, he'd also taken less doses than Nate and was becoming well aware that his best friend was handling the drug better than he was.

"Why don't you get some hoes?" Chuck asked, laughing.

His conscience – which hardly came out – scolded him.

_You're a horrible friend._

He ignored it.

Nate joined him in his laughter.

"That would only make things worse!" He slapped his leg. "They want me to give the Vanderbuild ring to Blair!" he shouted, exasperated – and high.

Chuck's eyes widened, even as he laughed.

_There was a lot at stake here._

He snorted. "You're not actually going to give it to her, are you?" he chuckled.

Nate shook his head, still laughing. "No man, I need a _break_ from Blair." He was almost whining. "She's too much drama. And _so_ insecure. _Not_ what I need right now. Mm-mm."

Chuck was torn between defending Blair, half-agreeing with Nate and just falling asleep.

"I mean…" Nate sighed, clearly too exhausted to even explain himself.

Chuck was glad for that.

"Well," he smacked him, reaching for his arm, but going too far and hitting his chest. "If you ever need anything, just lemme know and I'm _there_." Chuck winked.

"Thanks, bro," Nate said solemnly, as if they were his parting words. "You're the best."

Chuck shrugged, sucking in more of the drugs.

"No, I mean it, dude," Nate continued, clearly deciding listing off Chuck as every male nickname was the cool thing to do. "You are really the best, man. You get me drugs…"

Chuck smirked.

"You listen…"

The smirk spread into a smile.

"You save me from the clutches of evil-doers like Carter Baizen even after I insist that I do want to play with evil-doers like Carter Baizen…"

Chuck chuckled.

"You are just…" Nate sighed dramatically, and loudly. "the best!"

Nate turned and hugged Chuck – fell on him, really; and then he fell asleep. They both did.

And Chuck's phone fell out of his pocket.

….

A/N: In case it was unclear, since a lot of you seemed to have the wrong impression after the last chapter. Future!Chuck was not making out with 17-year-old Blair last chapter. Last chapter was ALL season 1 CB. You will KNOW when & if S5 CS involve themselves with their counterparts from S1 =)

Please review. (If you're still following this fic. Again, sorry for the delay. ;))


	9. Vampire Love

A/N: You can thankful reader/reviewer, **scarlett2u**, once again for her dedication to this story…and the fact that I made a deal with her. XD You've just been granted two chaps written right after the other. Enjoy and please review. =)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

**Ch.9—Vampire Love**

His first clue that something was wrong was the fact that one side of him felt decidedly chill. The second was that he couldn't feel his phone digging into him like before he'd fallen asleep. He opened his eyes and scanned the room, zeroing in on Nate scrolling through a device he hoped to god was his own phone.

"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to sound more casual than threatening.

"Do you know another Blair, Chuck?" Nate asked, his eyes still glued to the phone that Chuck realized was clearly not his own.

He gulped.

"Of course," he said, shaking himself out of his dreadful thoughts and getting up off the couch, walking towards his now unfortunately no longer high best friend.

Nate turned to him with a confused look. Chuck was relieved to see that it was just genuine confusion.

"Who?" he asked, easily letting Chuck snatch his phone back.

"Walters," Chuck said easily. Nate raised his eyebrows. "The daughter of one of my father's associates. Fantastic ass," he explained, sliding smoothly past Nate to the bar as he chuckled.

Nate shook his head as he followed his friend and took a seat on a stool by the bar.

"That explains the dirty texts then," he said, sporting his own perverse smirk.

Chuck tried to reduce his smile, but it was almost impossible. He was glad at moments like this that Nate could be so dense. It was extremely convenient.

"So what else are you doing today?" he asked, moving to a hopefully safer topic.

Nate shrugged. "Hopefully nothing family-related." He sighed. "I might go on a run."

"Strip clubs are open late," Chuck suggested.

He laughed. "No…that would not be good."

Chuck said nothing. He could have argued either way, but truth was he only wanted to be in the clear with Nate in case news of he and Blair became public knowledge, or at least made it to Nate's phone.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

Chuck blinked. "Strip club," he said easily. Nate's lips parted. "Was that not clear?" Chuck asked, pouring himself a drink.

"Pour me one," Nate said. Chuck pulled out another glass out from underneath the counter and emptied more liquid into it. "I'm going to need it," he said.

They clinked glasses.

"I'll save you a spot at the club," Chuck said as Nate was on his way out. The blonde just shook his head at the suggestion.

As soon as the door shut, Chuck pulled out his phone and scanned the text messages. He thanked his lucky stars that he'd deleted his texts to Blair that included the word _Waldorf_, his very favorite nickname for her. Aside from _B_, of course, but Serena overused that and he wasn't one to be a follower.

The text from Gossip Girl was still there but clearly Nate had taken no notice and just zeroed in on the name _Blair_. As much as Chuck delighted in re-reading his text conversations with Blair he knew he'd have to start deleting them soon. It had been too close this time.

He wondered what Blair was doing. It had been several hours since they'd last seen – or heard from each other – and he grudgingly realized that he missed her. More and more he was becoming okay with that fact. It was true he still kept his cool demeanor, playing the bad boy and not caring what anyone said or thought of him, remaining the farthest away from love-struck emotions as was possible.

In public.

But when he was with Blair everything was different. Sure, he was still snarky and full of himself, but a softness came out that he hardly knew existed. All he wanted was to be with her all the time. It wasn't just about sex, though he definitely made a push for that when they were together. She wasn't just hot; she was beautiful, gorgeous even. His eyes didn't just linger on her breasts, legs and thighs, but on her tumbling brunette locks and perfect smile. There was something captivating about the darkness of her eyes too. He could stare into them forever.

He'd always admired her wit, scheming and manipulative behavior, the way she could act sweet as an innocent angel and then two seconds later the claws would come out with calculated ease and precision. Her style matched his own in a way that he'd hardly recognized before. Shortly after their affair started, he started flipping through past pictures of the four of them and was shocked to find that in nearly every single one the Queen Bee and himself matched perfectly.

Everything was accentuated now.

He'd also developed a protective streak, he realized. In the past, that had only really ever come out with Nate. For the sake of his reputation, he held himself back from becoming the 'jealous boyfriend' she'd jokingly accused him of at her seventeenth birthday party, but that didn't mean he didn't feel it or want to overstep his bounds to make sure she was happy and confident herself.

His emotions had gone haywire. And these new affectionate emotions he'd discovered, he had no clue what to do with.

It was like he was a vampire. Except, no blood.

"B," he purred into the phone when she didn't answer by the third ring and he was sent to voicemail.

He clicked the phone shut without so much as another letter to finish his message.

No matter how much Serena used the initial to call on her best friend, Chuck knew that the nickname from _his_ lips got her all sorts of horny.

…

Apparently Nate had been desperate to talk to Serena, so she bailed on their hang-out early. To put it lightly, Blair was not happy. She knew her best friend was just trying to be friends with both of them, but Nate had _betrayed_ her, while hitting on Serena simultaneously. Nobody, aside from _maybe_ Chuck since he was _his_ best friend, should be giving him the time of day. His family issues be damned.

Besides, she'd gone as long as she could in their conversation playing the denial card on all things relating to Chuck. It irked her that her best friend could see right through her when usually she could build up her walls a little better. But in those last five minutes they'd spent together before Serena had run off to Nate, Blair had been preparing herself to finally gush about Chuck had started to make her feel.

It was embarrassing to admit to herself, let alone informing her best friend. That would make it all the more real. But she needed to get it out. She wanted to go to the top of the tallest building in the world and scream at the top of her lungs about just how great Chuck was making her feel, how hot he was, how good he was at everything…how hot and cold he made her feel all the time. And then there were those moments where she'd fool herself into thinking that maybe he liked her a little more than butterflies.

Thoughts like those were dangerous, but she couldn't help but think them; especially when Chuck seemed to magically show up every time she was feeling sour about Nate. And if she completely dismissed the blaring fact that Chuck was a raging supposedly heartless bad boy with no sense of morality or commitment, she would truly believe she'd found the man of her dreams. Her prince charming, hidden behind a very well acted façade.

She shook herself out of the fantasy. It was getting ridiculous how much she let herself believe when it came to one Chuck Bass. He was _Chuck Bass_, not Prince Charming.

Anyone listening to her thoughts right now would find her psychotic, which was precisely why she turned off her phone for the remainder of the afternoon until after dinner. When she turned it back on she had one voicemail message, and when she listened to it, she melted.

"_B…"_

Shivers. Heart beating fast. Warm cool rushing over her skin. And a liquid pool of heat resonating in her core.

She swallowed hard and looked up when she heard the already opened door to her room open further. She gasped and felt the sensations rush over her again as he slowly walked into her room, pausing a step after the entrance to knock lightly on her doorframe.

"May I come in?" he asked huskily.

She thought she was going to faint, which was ridiculous too since they'd spent so much time together already that day. She actually hadn't expected to see him again until tomorrow. There were still four school days left in the week. Plenty of time for ramped rendezvous.

But now…

"Is Eleanor home?" he asked, closing the door behind him, not breaking their eye contact for a second.

All she could do was shake her head, unconsciously licking her lips as he approached her.

"Will she be-"

Her lips smashed against his before he could finish his question. She could not tolerate another moment without his touch. She grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him to her. Her mouth was ravenous against his, plunging her tongue into his depths and pulling him as close as was possible until she was lying on her back on the bed with him looming over her, pushing her into the plush duvet.

Overwhelmed by her emotions, she could do nothing but respond to what she in fact had initiated. Right now him walking in on her alone with her thoughts was just what she needed, especially after she'd been doubting him, doubting _them_, and after she'd heard that intoxicating message.

"I left you a message," he managed when she finally allowed him access to her throat and off of her mouth.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her heels into the curve at the base of his back in response. Her hands caught up in his hair drilled down the back of his neck to his shoulders, digging into the fabric of his jacket. Irritated at all the bulky fabric between them, she brought her hands to the collar of his jacket and used her grip to shove him off of her.

He was breathless and surprised, but his eyes were still filled with heat when he caught her stare again after she'd joined him, standing to her feet. She closed the distance between them within seconds and started to tear off his clothes.

"How the hell do you think you're going to fuck me with so many clothes on, Bass?"

His eyes glittered, his heart swelling and his dick throbbing at the sight of his little kitten in heat. It did wonders for his ego to see her so desperate for him.

"Fiesty," he murmured, assisting her very little as she clawed at his suit and then unbuckled his belt. He slipped out of his shoes, fished a condom out of his pant pockets and moved away long enough to put it on before she took him in her mouth. He'd never last then.

He turned back to her and saw her pouty lip and shining, heated eyes.

"Waldorf, you're fucking fantastic," he said huskily, tackling her back onto the bed and undressing her once they reached the middle.

He kissed her and nibbled at her collarbone, then simultaneously sunk his fingers into her soaking core and pumped her. She cried out, trying to muffle the noise by ducking her head into his chest. She ended up nipping at his skin instead and digging her nails into his back.

He growled and pulled back enough to shove his dick inside her, sharp and deep and full. She gasped, and then their eyes locked.

It was then that Chuck experienced his first overwhelming need to tell her what he'd been trying to deny with each passing day because of how much it would change absolutely everything.

_I'm falling in love with you._

"_Blair_," he got out instead, and she echoed with the response of her own.

"_Chuck_."

Panting, he thrust inside her repeatedly, each time harder and faster than the last. When she finally screamed through her orgasm, he felt complete euphoria. It was magnified even more when he experienced his own climax.

They slowly came down from their high. He collapsed on top of her and his heart beat faster and warmed when she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her face against neck, pressing a couple of sweet, moist kisses there.

This was perfect. This was heaven. This was what happiness felt like.

….

A/N: Too much smut? XD You'll live. Lol. My shortest chap yet, but I swear the next one will be longer. I was going to have the cliffhanger be this chap, but I think it'll be more fitting in the next one. Heh. I'm gonna start writing now, but I'm not 100% sure it'll be done tonight. We'll see. =) Please review!

**NOTE 1:** Please go vote on my poll if this is one of your priority fics for me to focus on this summer! (Also any other fics you want me to focus on. You can vote for up to 4!)

**NOTE 2:** I'm desperate for peeps to visit my site. XD _ (look at the bottom of my profile) _It has my episode responses to Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, Once Upon a Time, Revenge & 90210. Also, episode stills for GG & VD. Set pics, set vids for GG; spoilers, interviews & promo vids for GG & VD. A quotes page for EL; some of my GG fashion favs & details on my fandoms/ships, along with updates on my fics and vids. Check it out! =P


	10. Multiple Dysfunction

A/N: Took longer than expected, but this is still coming sooner than it might have before, so you must continue to be grateful to **scarlett2u**! XD (and **daretochair** who really pushed for this chap, ;) ) Also, thank-you SO much for all your fantastic reviews & for voting on my poll! =D LA is winning by a lot, and it makes me very happy, because I didn't realize it was so loved! =P Please continue to read & review. It does not go unnoticed. ;)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.10—Multiple Dysfunction**

They stared at each other head on, eyes heated, fury simmering between them. He was so angry and she was so frustrated. Both were bordering on panic.

They were so irritated with each other, more than they'd ever been in their entire relationship, that the desire to leave clawed at them with increasing speed, but the need to prove the other wrong was stronger; so they stood their ground.

After hours of fighting it out and trying to distract him from the truth, Serena drew the last card she had to play even if she knew there would be serious repercussions. She just hoped Blair wouldn't hate her after all was said and done.

"Fine, Nate. You're right. Chuck and Blair are having an affair. I didn't want to tell you, but now that I have, what are you going to do about it?"

_6 hours earlier…_

It started out relatively calm, but he could tell she didn't want to be there. The last time they'd been alone like this he'd nearly hit on her, and the fact that he'd sounded so urgent on the phone had clearly not been lost on her. He was surprised she had shown up.

"So, what's going on, Nate?" she asked, averting her eyes and crossing her arms across her chest. His eyes flickered. "I assume I'm not here because you need my help devising a plan to apologize to Blair."

He looked guilty when she finally looked back up at him. That confirmed her assumption, but it also tugged at her heartstrings a little. She hated to see any of her friends hurting, and Nate had perfected the puppy-dog eyes that always made her crumble.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. You don't need that right now, even if you deserve it." She offered a soft smile that he returned. "What's up?"

He gestured to the couch, but she shook her head and half way to sitting down he decided against it. Best to not repeat the previous scene, not even in similar gestures. It was best to get right to the point.

"I think Chuck and Blair are having an affair," he said simply.

Serena's lips parted. She was shocked and terrified that he would see right through her. Keeping Blair's secret had seemed so easy when she promised it earlier that day. How Nate had even begun to suspect the affair made her feel incredibly wary.

"_What_?" she squeaked.

He nodded, solemn. "I saw Chuck's phone today. It looks like they've been…_sexting_ each other for weeks."

She swallowed.

He shook his head and scoffed. "I guess I should have known. He never pursued her while we were together, but Chuck's a sex-a-holic. It was only a matter of time before he…_seduced_ her." His face crinkled up. He looked absolutely disgusted with life.

"Nate, stop-" she stepped forward quickly, catching his attention but making sure not to touch him. "This is _Chuck_ we're talking about, your _best friend_? For all the gross he can be, he would _not_ sleep with Blair right after the two of you broke up."

"Why not? He knew I was feeling less and less attached to her. I was starting to feel trapped. And even if he didn't say it outright, he knows I'm in lo-"

He froze and their eyes locked. Serena took a few steps back. The silence between them settled. It was thick, heavy and uncomfortable.

"I…I think you're overthinking this, Nate," she finally managed. "Maybe you misinterpreted those texts."

"Sexts."

She sighed. "Nate…"

His brooding gaze remained downcast.

"Why don't we go out for a drink?" she offered, regretting it almost instantly but knowing there was no way she could take it back. "Take the edge off."

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

She stiffened, remembering their last drunken encounter. Blair's angry, crying face flashed before her eyes, quickly followed by Dan's disappointed stare and flashes back of the encounter and what followed after.

"I won't get drunk," she said confidently. "In fact I don't even want to."

He raised his eyebrows.

"You need to cut loose, Nate, but I don't think I do. I'll feel better when you do."

He shook his head at her, amused, surprised and confused all at once. "What about Blair?" he asked.

Serena looked slightly panicked but then she reminded herself how happy Blair had looked today, all when the subject of Chuck had come up or he'd been in the vicinity. And technically she was helping her. Keeping Nate occupied would keep him distracted and away from suspecting Chuck and Blair as a…_couple_?

"I'll make it up to her tomorrow," she said smoothly.

Nate's jaw dropped in shock, but his heart swelled at the opportunity before him. He and Blair were no longer together. He wouldn't resist any longer.

"Alright," he said, smiling slowly and charmingly. "You've convinced me."

...

It had been _days_. Four to be precise. She hadn't had more than five solid minutes with Chuck since he hadn't spent the night Monday. Not that she should've expected him to since they'd hardly been inseparable throughout the entire day, but that had quickly become the norm ever since they started their secret affair.

She didn't expect him to quit cold turkey.

But beyond analyzing that to its torturous death was the fact that she didn't have much of Serena's attention either. They still sat together at lunch, and they talked, but when it was just the two of them, and especially when they were in public she often looked distracted. When they were alone together in her house, it was as if she always remembered something she'd forgotten to do and found herself needing to leave as soon as was possible.

It was discouraging to say the least, and the only thing that was keeping her going was the preparations for Cotillion. The ballroom classes had become more frequent, and though while no one had to have a particular partner just yet, she knew she'd have to pick one soon and it wouldn't be Chuck or Nate.

She didn't know when exactly she'd started wanting Chuck so much. She'd been in denial about it for so long that she couldn't pin down an exact moment, or even an exact date. Not even an estimate.

The truth was she was in the same dilemma over when Nate had stopped wanting her. In 7th grade, when they'd first gotten together, it hadn't seemed forced. It was just him and her and they liked each other. He knew about Serena already too; they'd all known each other since they were little kids. So it wasn't as if he couldn't choose her if he really wanted to. She supposed he could have been swayed by his parents since Serena hadn't exactly been easy to tie down then, but it hadn't felt that way. She and Nate – they had felt _real_.

But time passed and she noticed how Serena started to really catch his eye, much more than his own girlfriend did. When that happened, she got pushy and clingy and desperate for his attention, and it turned him off more than ever before. She tried to tone it down and he wasn't overly obvious about his interest in her best friend, so they were stable enough. They still loved each other.

Finding out from his own mouth that he'd cheated on her had been a slap in the face, a clear sign that for maybe the past year and a half they'd been faking it.

And when he couldn't tell her he loved her, she knew for sure they had.

But that didn't mean she didn't still love him, and that was why it hurt so bad.

Chuck was repulsive, arrogant, leering, shameless, void of a moral compass and any potential of maintaining a committed relationship.

But on some level he _got_ her; he understood her like no one else did. Sometimes more than Serena.

Losing her virginity to him…it had felt so right in the moment, so perfect, like she was throwing all her dreams to the wind because she felt better that night than she ever had in her life. She felt free. She felt the way she was sure Serena did all the time – or the way she had at least, with her partying lifestyle and the trail of guys following her like puppy dogs.

When she'd woken up the next morning, reality had slammed through her. No matter how well Chuck complimented her, he was still Chuck Bass. Aside from the humiliation of how ridiculed she'd be, how she would lose everything if anyone found about this was the fact that some part of her, which she would never admit to, had wanted something to happen with Chuck. Because he'd wanted her. When he pursued her even after her one night stand, time and time again, she knew it wasn't because he just wanted to get laid or something to hold over her head or tease her about in the future if he ever needed it.

It was because he wanted _her_.

The kind of desire she saw in his eyes… she'd never seen that with Nate.

And that made her all the more scared, because she realized she was becoming attached to Chuck and the denial was becoming less that he didn't mean anything to her aside from the physical but more that he wouldn't want her forever.

No matter how many adoring, lustful eyes she had on her, sooner or later they always shifted to Serena, or to some other girl. Her only stability was believing that she was better, believing that everyone was jealous of her and wanted to be her, and for the most part that was true. She wasn't Queen Bee for nothing.

She didn't want to become to Chuck what she'd been to Nate. And she hated herself every time she had that thought, because she shouldn't _want_ him to begin with.

But she did.

Which made this week all the more troubling, and made her resolve to do the very last thing she wanted to. It was repulsive, that she would actually seek the dirty specimen out when maybe it wasn't absolutely necessary.

But she was desperate.

So, crossing the courtyard, Serena, Chuck and even Nate surprisingly out of sight, she tapped _him_ on the shoulder.

"Blair?" he squeaked, clearly shocked.

She raised her eyebrows and blinked. "Humphrey."

His jaw dropped and he was clearly unable to form any coherent thought.

She rolled her eyes and sat at the table beside him, though a good distance away.

"Where's Serena?" she demanded, more upset by that fact than that she actually had to speak to this…lower class…_thing_. He was on _scholarship_ for crying out loud.

"I don't know," he said, his brows furrowed. "I thought she was with you."

She suddenly felt sick. "No…"

"Do you think she's alright?" he asked, worried.

"I'm sure she's fine." She plastered a big, beautiful, fake smile on her face. "Maybe she's studying somewhere quiet."

Dan nodded, seeming to accept that. As much as she despised him, she knew well enough this was not about Serena's well being and that the fact that neither of them had seen Serena much that day had to do with her being sick or sad. Blair would know if that was the case. She'd be the first to know.

"She did say she had a chemistry test today…" he pondered.

"Right."

"Did you study for it?" he asked, inquisitively.

"I have to go," she said suddenly, rising from her seat, because this _so_ wasn't going to turn into an actual conversation. She did not converse with the inhabitants of _Brooklyn_. "Let me know if you see her."

He nodded again, but she had already started walking away, inwardly fuming.

She walked straight past her minions with no explanation. Just as she was reaching for the door, a hand grabbed her arm and her heart sped up at that moment, because she truly thought it might be Chuck and she was already preparing herself to contain the glow and giddiness that would no doubt appear instantly.

But it wasn't.

"Have you seen Chuck?"

She frowned and pulled her arm roughly away.

"Nate."

He released her and stepped back.

"Why would I have seen Chuck?" she asked, still aggravated. "And the even better question, why are you talking to me?"

He sighed. "We're all friends, Blair."

She widened her eyes and looked at him doubtfully, but he didn't take back his statement.

"I haven't seen him," she said.

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he held his tongue. She didn't bother to ask him what it was. Because he'd hurt her, and she didn't want him, and she didn't care.

But that didn't mean she couldn't be polite. Every proper lady was.

"If you'll excuse me," she said, pushing past him.

Pushy polite was still polite.

She got inside the building, made it down the hall and to her locker, bringing out the supplies she needed for her next class and analyzing herself harshly in the little mirror that stuck to the inside of her locker.

She looked up at the clock standing guard near the ceiling and sighed. She still had fifteen more minutes until the bell rang to go to classes, but no one else ever appeared in the hallway. No giggling, whispering blonde by her locker, no strong-armed, seductive brown-haired boy sliding his arm around her waist and pushing her into a dark corner to hungrily devour her lips and roughly caress her skin.

She slammed her locker door shut and headed for her next class. Early.

…

So, Serena had called her after school and told her why she'd been MIA during lunch. Apparently she was studying for their upcoming chemistry test. But she'd been with the professor due to her lack of success in class, she was actually asking for tutoring. Under normal circumstances this would've looked suspiciously scandalous, especially since she hadn't told her devoted boyfriend, but Blair wasn't about to press for details. It was clear her best friend was anxious to get off the phone, some family dilemma apparently.

She wondered if that was true.

Serena's behavior just wasn't making sense. She had to hold her tongue to ask if she had seen Chuck. She didn't want to seem needy or desperate or…well, just anything that would look odd on Queen Bee Blair Waldorf who might or might not be still hung up on her cheating ex-boyfriend.

So, Serena had hung up, promising some girl time tomorrow, Saturday, since she'd 'reluctantly' refused a sleepover tonight – _Friday_ night, their _most often frequented sleepover_ night.

But it was fine. It was the weekend now. She wouldn't let Serena make any more excuses.

And if Chuck didn't want her anymore, that was fine too. She'd live through it just like she did with everything else.

Six hours later, after watching Breakfast at Tiffany's three times over, the clock told her it was midnight. She found it hard to believe.

Going off of what she'd occupied herself with all afternoon and evening though, she supposed it was possible.

She was feeling lazy and depressed. Even Audrey didn't make her feel better. It would probably be best to go to bed. Tomorrow would be better, despite the fact that the last four days hadn't exactly proven that to be true. Tomorrow _would_ be different.

If she had to she would stomp over to The Palace herself, demand Serena hang out with her and end things with Chuck – or threaten at the very least. If he was as desperate to be with her as he had been at the beginning of their affair, it shouldn't be too hard to make him more present in their day-to-day lives.

But just as she was about to switch the lamp off and tuck herself into bed, her phone went off. If it was Serena again, she decided she would be hard on her. And if it was Chuck? Well, she didn't know what she'd say. Maybe she'd hear him out – if he decided to explain himself, which honestly, she deserved at least _that_.

But it wasn't either of them.

It was bad. It made her feel sick. It made her want to scream. Because this wasn't supposed to happen. Not twice. Not without laying down ground rules over if they were going to be monogamous or not. And Serena – wasn't she supposed to be the devoted girlfriend to Dan? Hadn't she changed? Had she literally taken her best friend at her word when she insisted it was only physical between her and Chuck?

She didn't stop in her thought process to deny the fact that it wasn't, not to her.

With shaking fingers, she scrolled back up past the picture to the text, the Gossip Girl blast.

**Hello Upper East Siders. Friday night's all the rave and I'm not the only one that thinks so. Aren't Chuck's dad and Serena's mom getting serious? What would they think to see their children in this compromising position? Chuck and Serena getting down and dirty on the dance floor in upstate New York. Sorry, Lonely Boy, guess some things never change.**

**-Gossip Girl**

Blair slid her phone shut quickly, her fingers shaking. A moment later it buzzed and hesitantly she went to see who it was.

Serena.

_Ignore_.

After the buzzing stopped, it started again, and angrily she grabbed it.

Her eyes widened.

Chuck.

"Blair-" he said quickly before she could hang up on him.

"We're done," she snapped.

"No, Blair, wait-"

She shut her phone off and threw it across the room. Then she went under her covers and angrily forced herself to go to sleep, sobbing into her pillow.

…

Laughter echoed down the hall as they stumbled into their hotel suite and collapsed onto the couch.

"It's probably not good for us to be drunk," Chuck laughed, his head falling back onto the cushions.

"Someone might catch us!" Serena burst out laughing.

He laughed some more and then sighed.

"This was a good idea, S. And you know, I think we even covered up pretty well."

She raised her eyebrows in amusement at her drunk step-brother.

"Oh, yes…" she managed. Slowly though, her common sense and brain waves were starting to function again. "Though maybe next time just for one night. Not the whole rest of the week."

"Nah," he assured her. "I'm sure nothing went wrong."

It was the alcohol talking, she knew. In the morning when he'd slept it off he would probably start to worry, just like every other morning this week. Maybe it had been bad to encourage this. She would let him have this moment though. He needed it, and she did too.

"Though…" he began again, disgust starting to take over his face. "We are not _ever_ grinding again."

She rolled her eyes, but flushed slightly. "You'd never done it before. I just wanted to show you _how_."

"I didn't ask you to," he insisted, though he was still slightly giddy.

"You wouldn't shut up about how you could have gotten so many more lays if you'd known how!"

He avoided her wide-eyed stare.

"And that – as I recall – you refused to attempt with any of your one-night stands because you didn't want to look stupid if you were doing it wrong." She couldn't fight the smile that crept onto her face, because it was so very amusing to see him try to fight his embarrassment and the conversation _had_ been hysterical.

"It would have damaged my _reputation_," he finally said seriously, bordering scandalized.

She blinked and laughed again.

"And it doesn't even matter now. You know I only want Blair."

He'd become so serious that she was too. It was a topic she'd tried to avoid while they were away from Manhattan.

"Go show my younger self!" he said. "But…go back _before_ I slept with Blair. You know, before she tainted me."

Despite the laughter that the latter half of his comment might have ensued, she found herself scrunching up her nose in disgust.

"Ugh. No. Your younger self was always hitting on me. I wouldn't be able to stand it."

He smirked and his eyes twinkled even as she closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch.

That was when both their phones went off.

Serena's eyelids were heavy though and refused to open, so she waved her hand around for Chuck to check her phone.

He didn't say anything for awhile, but his breathing altered.

Finally, she opened her eyes to look at him. He was staring at both of their phones, holding one each hand.

"Chuck?" she asked warily, everything inside her tensed for the worst.

"Shit," he finally cursed, a quiet harsh sound under his breath.

"What is it?" she demanded, anxious now. Her hands were starting to sweat. "Did we get the same message?" she gulped, and he looked up, well aware of what she was implying.

Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he handed her phone back to her.

Anxiously, she took it quickly and scrolled down the screen, falling back onto the couch when she saw it.

"_Shit_."

…

A/N: Not sure if this one will be updated consistently like before, but I promised an update to a friend awhile ago and I promised you all two updates right away MONTHS ago, so it's my bad. Hope you enjoyed this. Please review.


	11. One Road Leads To Another

A/N: Wow. Long time no write. Congrats to those of you who are still reading this. Here's an update! You can now go thank the lovely **scarlett2u**. She made a shout out to this the other day on twitter and I got the feeling she was inkling to know what happened next. Here you go, Mary. ;)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.11—One Road Leads To Another**

Serena closed her eyes in agony and fell back against the couch. Much to Chuck's surprise she didn't immediately demand they go home.

"We could use the blue pill," she offered.

And there it was.

"No," he said immediately. He straightened in his seat and then leaned forward. "What we need to do is go back to the city and devise a real plan, something that'll actually get us somewhere beyond hiding in the shadows hoping our past selves don't screw up."

She raised her eyebrows but then shook her head. "No, Chuck, let's just stay here for tonight. We can leave in the morning."

"We can't waste any more time," he said, getting slightly impatient. He was desperate to fix the situation, even if he was coming across as completely calm.

She sat up. "And what if we're spotted again tonight? It'll only make things worse with our…younger selves." She sighed and stood up. "Unlike you, at age seventeen, I was actually in a relationship."

His eyebrows narrowed and he shot up. "But my relationship was fragile. It was hardly even considered a relationship," he spat.

She looked at him sympathetically and he turned away from her.

"Ugh. Don't look at me like that."

"Chuck…"

"What's done is done."

Well now she felt horrible.

He sighed. "But…as much as I hate to admit it, you're probably right." He turned to face her again. "We'll leave in the morning."

She nodded.

"I do think I have the beginning of a plan though," he said hesitantly.

Her eyes lit up. "What is it?" she asked, coming closer.

"Well, from previous experience, it obviously isn't a good idea for us to really show our faces in public."

She rolled her eyes and nodded.

"So, as risky as it might be, I think we need to call in for back-up."

Her brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"You remember those fake IDs I had made for our SATs?"

"Yeah…" she said warily.

"Well, that wasn't the first time I got fake IDs." A smirk slid onto his features.

"Chuck."

"It's exactly what you're thinking," he said. "We need to go under cover, create new identities for ourselves, and once that is done we can pay people off to…intervene, if you will, when we deem necessary."

She mulled it over, not saying a word until several minutes had passed.

"Well?" Chuck prodded.

"It's a start," she finally said, hesitantly because this was a whole new approach and she could only imagine what Chuck had in mind for her 'new identity'. A red head? Brown eyes? A nose job?

But it was something fresh, something do-able, and it just might work.

He smiled at her response, genuinely smiled, and it made her smile, made her sure that this was the right thing – or at least the best thing they'd come up with yet.

"A _good_ start," he insisted.

She nodded and smiled, then headed for the bed, sufficiently plopping herself down and snuggling into the pillow.

"Yep," she yawned. "Good start." She opened an eye for a moment to see Chuck staring down at her adoringly. "Goodnight, Chuck."

"Goodnight, Serena."

He went to the other bed and slid beneath the covers.

…

She woke up earlier than she would have liked, but truth be told she hadn't gotten much sleep at all and it wouldn't do to keep trying when every attempt was seemingly hopeless. She wrapped her sheer, white robe around her, slipped into her slipper and headed downstairs, set to tell Dorota that she would have no visitors today. She didn't want Chuck or Serena trying to explain themselves to her. She wouldn't be able to stand for it.

Mainly because she was sure she was justified and in the back of her head she thought she might not be.

It was true that knowing Chuck and Serena's past behavior, it was likely they had slept together following the dirty dancing entourage. But there was no confirmation of that. Past proof also showed that Serena had always detested Chuck, even more so now that he might be her future step-brother. And there had been no posts of the two of them together since last night.

Though maybe that didn't mean much seeing as how it was six in the morning and the post had come in around midnight.

"Dorota!" she called out when she reached the bottom of the steps. The normally cheerful and eager maid didn't appear from any of the adjoining rooms.

She frowned.

"Dorota?" she called out again, starting to make her way through the rooms.

To her surprise, she found her maid hunkered in the far corner of one of the rooms, talking into a phone and scribbling down notes on a pad of paper.

At first suspicious, but then amused when her maid quickly hung up and quickly hid the pad behind her, she stood up to greet her mistress.

"Miss Blair! I no know you were up. So early for you."

"What's on that pad, Dorota?" She eyed the curve of her arms hidden behind her plump form.

"N-nothing. Orders for a…a lunch Miss Eleanor planned last week."

She raised her eyebrows. "A lunch?"

She nodded. "Yes, Miss Blair. Very important lunch. For Cotillion. Important people coming."

It dawned on her then that her mother was planning a tea party for much of the elite who were bound to show up at Cotillion with their daughters.

But that wasn't for another week. Maybe two.

She decided not to press it. She could easily steal that pad away from her precious Dorota later if she needed to.

"Well, alright, Dorota. I just came to tell you to make sure I have no visitors today. Not even Serena, or-" she paused almost on a gasp, wondering if her maid had discovered her with Chuck at any point since their affair had started (and was most likely about to end, she thought mournfully). To her knowledge she hadn't, but Dorota had a way to be all-knowing when she wanted to be.

"Just no one," she said quickly, clearing her throat.

"I make you breakfast," her maid said, just as she was leaving the room. Blair waved her off and went back upstairs.

Dorota let out a sigh of relief once her mistress had gone. Some warbling was starting to come from the phone she'd hidden behind her and she brought it back to her ear.

"She no want to see you, Mr. Chuck. She just tell me herself," she insisted, now sure of herself. The first five times he'd called and left messages for Blair, she had been unsure as to whether keep him away. But her mistress's announcement had been loud and clear.

No visitors today. Not even Mr. Chuck, who in all honesty, Dorota had become somewhat fond of. It was true she wasn't exactly sure as to why she'd seen him around so often, but in those moments when he was addressing only her, she felt special. Much to her chagrin, he'd made her blush a few times.

"Dorota, please. There's been a misunderstanding. I have to fix things."

For a moment, she almost reconsidered.

"I sorry, Mr. Chuck. Miss Blair say no visitors today and so there no be visitors today," she said sternly.

He sighed.

"Not even Miss Serena," she assured him, hoping to make him feel better.

He scoffed. "Oh, I'm sure."

Her brows furrowed at his unexpected response.

"Just tell her I called and that I _need_ to talk to her. Okay?"

"I tell her, Mr. Chuck."

"Thank-you."

The phone clicked and she slipped it into her pocket. It _was_ curious that Chuck had called _her_ instead of her mistress, but she guessed the 'misunderstanding' would explain all of that.

Fifteen minutes later, Dorota had Blair's breakfast made it and took it up to her in her bedroom.

"Thank-you, Dorota, you can set it down over there," she said, gesturing to some obscure point on the other side of her room.

Confused, but still as obedient as ever, she set it down on Blair's vanity. She started walking towards her, but stopped when Blair spoke.

"You can go now, Dorota," she said, not even looking at her, but instead examining her freshly painted nails.

"Mr. Chuck call for you, Miss Blair."

Her eyes flashed up to hers. "_What_? When? On _your_ phone?"

"He say you turn your phone off?" she offered a little hopelessly.

Blair sighed. "I hope you told him I have no intention of speaking to him."

"I told him no visitors today," she assured her.

"I wonder what he's even doing up," she mused. "He never gets up this early."

"He say he up _all_ night." She pulled out the pad she had stuffed in her apron and handed it to her. "He call five times before now."

Blair's eyes widened and she took the pad from her, quickly scanning through the messages. Most of them were open-ended and unclear, but they were all clearly desperate, unless Dorota had misinterpreted his meaning. Which, of course, was very possible. Chuck didn't trouble himself with girls – even if until recently she'd proved to be the exception.

He'd told her he hadn't slept with another girl since their first time. It also had not gone unnoticed by her that he'd offered to take her to Cotillion more than once.

Finally, she snapped herself out of her thoughts.

"Take these, Dorota." She handed the pad back over. "I still don't want to see him." She sighed and leaned back against her pillows, even as her maid eyed her curiously. "And bring me my breakfast."

Her maid nodded and retrieved the breakfast tray. Blair took to popping the grapes in her mouth with a forlorn look on her face.

Dorota was still worried, but it was clear Blair no longer desired her presence, so she left and attended to housework.

…

This woman was going to drive him crazy. Absolutely out of his _mind_. He shouldn't be like this. He should be able to brush it off. Better yet, he should use the photoshopped picture to get Serena to sleep with him. She was so much like him in her range of sexual partners and the freedom she possessed. Every guy wanted her and every guy wanted to be _him_. Except for that reason. On top of that, his best friend had gotten her, lost his virginity to her. How the hell was _that_ fair?

But of course he wasn't scheming to use the picture to his advantage. Instead he wanted it to go away as fast as possible. It was ruining everything.

Ever since he'd taken Blair's virginity in the back of his limo, the only girl he'd wanted was her. Once she'd finally allowed for this affair of theirs to start – which he'd honestly been surprised actually happened, even if he knew he'd never give up until she caved – he'd been scared to death something would happen that would ruin it. Most likely something he would do.

And here it was. Like fate was telling him he didn't belong with the likes of Blair Waldorf, that she was too good for him. Because she was. Daily he had to remind himself that he was with her, that she'd decided she wanted to be with _him_, that she couldn't resist him. Sure it hurt that she didn't want to upgrade their relationship to a more official status, but that would require a lot of trust and faith on her part and a lot of commitment on his part.

He couldn't imagine ever being unfaithful to her, mostly because he was addicted to every part of her, but he didn't want to be held accountable if he was. He didn't want the responsibility of being unable to move around, to be free.

At least that was what he told himself when that playboy voice in his head told him he was totally whipped and that the _real_ Chuck Bass wouldn't be caught dead acting and thinking like he was now.

But he'd been ignoring that voice more and more, especially with his recent revelation that he was in love with Blair. He didn't want to think on that too much, because she wasn't in love with him and for someone that pretended he didn't need love nor did he want it, admitting and believing he was in love with Blair Waldorf was extremely dangerous.

All of his conflicting thoughts didn't mean a thing though if he didn't have Blair anymore. He had to fix this. He had to. He didn't know what kind of sick bastard would do this. Maybe Gossip Girl had – just to taunt him – since she knew he was with Blair? Or maybe it was someone who had it out for Humphrey and Serena. After all, the blast had been directed at them.

His father also wouldn't be pleased about this, but that was an afterthought.

The forefront of his mind was on fixing things with Blair.

And at this very moment, he might very well decide to shift his love to Dorota. The lovely woman had taken Blair out to the park to feed the ducks – and had texted him. With a picture.

His heart beat faster, but he couldn't have gotten out of his room fast enough. Looking as suitable as he could manage under the circumstances, he called for Arthur to bring around the limo. His adrenaline was so high that he was half-tempted to just run to the park, but he knew he wouldn't make it. Not more than a block.

"Central Park," he told the driver quickly once he'd practically torn the door off to get inside the limo. "Quickly."

"Right away, sir," Arthur said calmly, slowly pulling out of the parking spot on the curb.

"Go!" Chuck said, his eyes wide and impatient. He didn't explain himself or keep his piercing stare off his driver's look in the rearview mirror.

"Yes, sir," he said, grateful for the sudden lack of traffic on the road.

…

The green wooden door swung open and a cheerful Rufus Humphrey greeted her.

"Well, hello, Serena. How are you doing?"

She forced a smile. "Great. Is Dan here?"

He nodded. "Ah, yes, he's just in his—" he pointed his thumb back towards the bedroom and Serena brushed past him. "Good…seeing you too," he muttered, closing the door again and glancing at his apparently very distracted daughter curled up on the couch in the living room.

"Dan!" Serena burst through his bedroom door, hopeful to find him sitting on his bed, brooding over the recent Gossip Girl blast or perhaps reading something because by some random occurrence he hadn't seen the blast and she'd be able to explain herself beforehand.

However unlikely that was.

But he wasn't on his bed, or anywhere in the room for that matter. She paled. Had he left? Gone to see Vanessa? Vented to her about his girlfriend's apparent unfaithfulness? Would he fall back in love with her?!

_Stop_.

She needed to get a hold of herself, stop being so dramatic and take some deep breaths, because the window to the fire escape was open and she knew he'd gone there to escape before.

She swallowed and walked across the room, peeking her head out the window to see if he was there.

"Dan," she sighed in relief.

He turned to look at her and then faced back towards the street.

She swallowed. "It's not what you think…"

"It's not?" he asked doubtfully.

She frowned. "I didn't cheat on you, Dan. I didn't even dance with him. I wasn't even _with_ him last night."

His brows furrowed and he turned back to look at her. "What are you talking about?"

She smiled a little. His voice had softened and he was willing to listen to reason. A wonderful feeling of happiness bubbled up inside her.

He trusted her.

"Am I coming out or are you coming in?" she asked, a soft playfulness in her voice.

Despite the fact that she hadn't fully explained herself yet, he felt confident in the fact that she hadn't cheated and the gossip girl blast was just a mistake, a photo manipulation somehow. So, he smiled some at just how cute she was. He stood up and walked over to her, holding out his hand.

She bit her bottom lip and her eyes twinkled. She took his hand and let him help her out onto the fire escape.

Once they were settled sitting out on the fire escape, she turned to look at him, and expectantly he looked at her, ever patient, ever understanding.

"I wasn't with him last night, Dan."

"Well, you weren't with me," he reasoned. "And…you weren't at home. I checked."

She looked at him and smiled slightly. "You checked?" She nudged his shoulder.

He nodded. "Yeah…I hadn't heard from you in awhile," he said, moving past his initial smile driven on by her cuteness. He grew serious. "You've been distant." He paused and then decided on it. "Blair even came up to me at school yesterday because she said she hadn't seen you lately."

Her lips parted and she turned away briefly. Clearly all her running around trying to make sure Blair's secret stayed intact had taken away the brain cells in order to _plan_ for these sorts of things.

"Okay, I was with Nate," she finally said.

"Okay…" he drew out. He wouldn't get jealous. He wouldn't. Sure Nate and Serena had been best friends for forever, and they'd slept together while he was still dating Blair, her best friend, but that was over now. Serena was with him, not golden boy, Nate Archibald – even if he was single again.

"Nothing happened," she said quickly. "Not in the way you think." She sighed. "He's just…he's having trouble with some things, and I was trying to help him forget about them."

Dan rolled his eyes and looked away. "You're right. That doesn't make me feel nervous at all."

The sarcasm made her stomach clench.

"It's for Blair," she said.

He turned back to her, now confused.

"For _Blair_?"

She nodded. "Yes…" she sighed. "Do you trust me?"

He swallowed. "I'm trying to."

"Dan." She grabbed his hands and held them tightly. "I'm not cheating on you. When I slept with Nate before…" she closed her eyes briefly. "I was drunk and it didn't mean a thing. There's nothing I regret more. It tore everyone I loved apart. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Okay."

"This is about Blair," she continued. "I can't tell you how it's connected because it has to do with a secret she has that only I know about, and as her best friend I can't even tell you. But please, don't for a second think I'm involved with anyone but you. I don't know where that picture came from, but it's a lie. I haven't been upstate in _months_."

He blinked, realizing that had been a part of the blast. Somehow that made him feel better. He sighed in relief and offered another tiny smile.

"Well, I obviously don't like the fact that you can't tell me the one thing that would put me totally at ease, but I trust you. If you say you weren't with Chuck last night and that nothing is going on between you and Nate, I believe you."

She smiled softly and leaned in, whispering against his lips. "Nothing's going on between them. Or-at least, not with me involved. Chuck and Nate have been best friends for a long time, so…I guess anything's possible," she joked.

He laughed, intertwined his fingers in her hair, pulled her close and kissed her.

"So _that_ must be what's going on between you and Blair," he concluded.

She pulled back briefly, her eyes still sparkling. "_Of course_!"she giggled and kissed him again.

…

"Blair."

The brunette spun around at the sound of his voice and instantly backed up.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, then turning to Dorota and giving her a scorching glare.

"Dorota said you'd be here."

"I told her-"

"You said you didn't want any visitors. I just _happened_ to run into you at the park."

Her mouth opened and then closed in a tight scowl as her eyes narrowed.

"I have nothing to say to you, Chuck Bass," she finally said, returning to her bag of bread for more scraps.

"Maybe not, but I have something to say to you," he said, following her.

"I honestly don't care if you hooked up with Serena," she said before he could defend himself. "I mean, she _is_ my best friend and in a relationship, but you and I aren't exactly exclusive, so it's not like I can really be upset about it," she said nonchalantly.

"That's why you don't want any visitors? Because you're not upset about it?"

Angrily she shredded the bread and threw it bit by bit into the pond.

"I didn't _sleep_ with her, Blair," he insisted.

She scoffed. "_Please_."

"I didn't!" He grabbed her arm and turned her toward him. "That photo is a _fake_. I didn't dance with her either, and certainly not like _that_." He scrunched up his nose.

A light bulb went on in her head. It had nothing to do with Chuck's denial of the incident or of the legitimacy of the photo. It was that he'd reminded her of the very thing she should've taken into consideration to begin with.

Chuck Bass _hated_ dirty dancing. He found grinding detestable. And no matter how hot the girl was or how much he wanted to get into her pants, he wouldn't risk what he thought was a total abomination of nature.

"You didn't," she said, relief clearly seeping into her voice.

He relaxed some. "No."

"Because you _hate_ dirty dancing," she said, practically gushing now.

He was beyond relieved by her sudden acceptance. "I do." He nodded, starting to smile. He wanted to kiss her badly, but he couldn't. Not here. Not in public.

And then just like that, she frowned again and she was clearly angry.

"What?" he asked, trying not to let the desperation bleed through.

"Where have you been all week then?"

He tilted his head in confusion.

"I've hardly seen you all week." She pushed at him, so there would be more distance between them. "I thought you'd gotten sick of me. The least you could've done was to tell me you were done with this whole…arrangement between us."

"Blair…" He shook his head. "I am far from sick of you."

"If you were bored, all you had to do was say so," she said sharply.

"I'm not sick of you," he almost laughed.

She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms across her chest, unconvinced, even if he'd just spent every moment since his arrival trying to dissuade her from believing that photo of him and Serena.

"I have been with Serena this week," he said. Her jaw clenched. "But it's not what you think. I haven't slept with a single girl since you and I got together." He took steps towards her until he was barely a foot away. "I haven't _wanted_ to."

There they were. Those butterflies again. She couldn't shake them off if she tried, and she was absolutely convinced he'd given them to her. They were obviously a contagion.

She sighed dramatically. "Well then what were you doing with her?" she said, trying to act unaffected, but he could see through her. He smirked before continuing his explanation.

"Apparently Nate has gotten suspicious."

Her eyes widened and she looked at him. "_What_?" she whispered on a squeak.

He nodded seriously and then sighed, realizing he'd have to tell her about the incident earlier in the week.

"He crashed with me earlier in the week and I found him looking through my phone when I woke up. He found…our texts."

Her eyes widened. "Sexts, you mean."

He nodded. "Exactly."

She swallowed, trying to ward off the fear making her sick.

"I tried to wave him off and insist it was some other Blair, since the last name doesn't come up on the phone I have now. But, however convinced he was when I sold the line to him, apparently it didn't last. He went to Serena later and told her he thought you and I were sleeping together."

Her eyes widened further and she swallowed again.

"So…all this time…"

"I've been trying to make myself scarce. Nathaniel isn't super observant, but if he's looking for something he is, and I figured now that he's got this idea in his head, he just might start noticing the fact that you and I both disappear every day during lunch."

Her face flushed briefly. She couldn't even look at him.

"Right," she cleared her throat, hoping she wouldn't squeak again.

He smirked.

"I have missed that though…." He leaned in and murmured.

To put some space between them so she didn't attack him right there, she looked up and took a step back.

"What else?" she asked. "What does Serena have to do with this?"

Reluctantly he returned to the serious part of the situation. "I've been meeting with her to get a head's up on just what Nate knows – or _thinks_ he knows – and then how I should go about acting based on that."

Her jaw dropped, realization dawning again. "So _that's_ what S has been up to all week? Trying to keep the peace and the secrets between you and Nate?"

He nodded.

She laughed. "That poor girl." Her face then shifted again, just like before, almost instantaneously. She smacked him. "Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.

"_Hey_." He stepped away to avoid any further abuse. "I wanted to. I just didn't want you to panic, and you know…run off."

Her face smoothed over. "You didn't want to scare me off?"

"_No_," he grumbled, straightening his jacket and now supremely annoyed that she'd made him open up about his feelings in public. Again.

She smiled at her scowling bad boy lover, her butterflies fluttering wildly again.

He sighed. "There's one more thing."

Her eyebrows furrowed.

"And this might scare you off."

"What?" she asked, suddenly tensed.

He took his phone out of his pocket, found the text message and showed it to her. He held his breath, waiting for her response.

"She knows, Blair."

She looked up at him with wide eyes, her bottom lip trembling.

"You mean?" She swallowed.

"I think she knows about us."

"But…" her brows furrowed. "Wouldn't she have said something about that on the blast then?"

"I don't know. That confused me too. This could be a fake number I suppose…"

Her head was spinning but she was sure of one thing. She handed the phone back to him.

He looked up at her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Chuck," she said softly. "And from what I hear, you're very good at tracing numbers." Her eyes sparkled mischievously.

He smiled a little, joining in their already planning scheme. She was opening so many doors for him all at once. It was crazy to think of having a 'better half' when you never intended to believe in a soul mate, let alone find yours. But she was his. He was sure of it. She had to be. Nothing else made sense.

"As scary as it is being with the infamous Chuck Bass…there's nothing I want more right now."

He sighed again, now completely relieved and incredibly happy. He closed the distance between them.

"God, Blair-"

She put her hand on his chest, stopping him.

"We can't," she said quickly, barely able to breathe just by the feel of him, already fantasizing about their make-up sex. "Not here."

His eyes were so lust-filled that if she hadn't been trying to think about the repercussions of giving in, she would have let him take her right there on the grass.

"My limo?" he asked huskily.

She groaned. "Oh, I'd _love_ that," she whimpered.

"But?" he whispered seductively into her ear.

"We can't be seen leaving together. And what about poor Dorota?"

He lifted his head to look at the maid and smirked. Blair turned to see what the amusement was and realized her precious maid had been staring at them the whole time and just now looked away back to the ducks, who were now gone, with all the bread they'd brought.

Chuck chuckled. "_I can't wait_," he whispered hotly against her neck.

With all the willpower she could muster she pushed him away forcefully.

He managed to pout.

"One of us has to be strong here," she said, her voice rising. Her resistance was wavering intensely.

"Dorota!" she called out to her maid, who immediately had her rapt attention. "We're going home," she said loudly, grabbing the empty bags of bread and tossing them into a nearby trashcan. "I have a visitor coming over," she said casually, lowering her voice as she passed Chuck. Somehow she managed no squeak in her voice. They shared a seductive smile before both looking away and walking in opposite directions.

"Thank-you, Dorota," Chuck said, winking at the maid before turning to leave the park. "I couldn't have done this without you."

She blushed fiercely and quickly went after her mistress.

…

A/N: S1 DS finally made an appearance! Lol You know…I think I really like this chap. ;) Please review!


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